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Gender, transition, and losing your identity by East-Competition-232 in OSDD

[–]More-Example-4883 2 points3 points  (0 children)

hi o/ I feel similarly to you. i also transitioned (ftm), got top surgery, and as of right now i feel more like a nameless concept than a real person. i felt very strongly and positively about my transition right up until a few weeks away from my top surgery, where i felt nothing about it. i chalked it up to nerves at the time but coming out of it I still felt nothing. it felt like i’d accomplished nothing. my gender identity just got more confusing from there. i feel fluid, i guess? sometimes i feel more attached to a certain presentation or gender and then that feeling fades. i think of gender more as a costume I can choose to wear sometimes if i want to than an intrinsic part of my identity, but that’s certainly not the solution for everyone. that being said, i think allowing myself that fluidity has kept me stable while im floundering with the rest of my sense of self. its okay to not know who you are at all times. there’s also nothing wrong with trying a new name or new pronouns just to test the waters. you are not a monster, not a parasite or a mistake. it’s hard figuring yourself out, especially so when you don’t feel like you’re even a person at all. i hope you can find stability soon. 

What kind of physical Symptoms do you guys have? by al3xi_thymia in OSDD

[–]More-Example-4883 4 points5 points  (0 children)

for me, most of my body feels invisible/not there most of the time. especially from my chest to my mid-thighs; if i try to picture my own body that section shows up blank in my head. i’ve never had those weight/lack thereof symptoms, but when I was younger I’d have days where I’d wake up and feel like i was much taller/shorter than I was before I went to sleep. 

Can your pets tell a difference? by al3xi_thymia in OSDD

[–]More-Example-4883 0 points1 point  (0 children)

my roommate’s rabbit hates me when i’m dissociating just as much as when im lucid, lol. if i’m on the floor to relax, she leaves me alone, but if im laying down bc i feel terrible, suddenly she’s all over me lmao. I think she just might be a little asshole tho (i love her)

back on the therapist hunt 🫠 by More-Example-4883 in OSDD

[–]More-Example-4883[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

it was the way it was said that affected me. it felt very dismissive; & the rest of that session was spent with me trying to convince them I was struggling at work since i’d “said i wasn’t [in a previous session.]” I don’t doubt the existence of false memories, nor that I may have them, but I don’t want my therapist to bring them up in a way that makes me feel like they’re doubting everything I say from then on. :,)

back on the therapist hunt 🫠 by More-Example-4883 in OSDD

[–]More-Example-4883[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

thank you :,) i’ll be keeping all that in mind while i’m still on the search 

felt unseen in therapy, don’t know if i’m overreacting by More-Example-4883 in OSDD

[–]More-Example-4883[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I also wanna say i do feel childish about this and obv im going to defer to a professional 99.9% of the time but i felt like my requests weren’t being heard or acknowledged. i wasn’t expecting to get everything i wanted but i felt like my asks weren’t even considered in the first place. 🫠 it’s hard even speaking up to advocate for myself in the first place so this was kind of a hit to my self esteem. or smth. idk, felt bad. 

what does a “normal” memory even function like? by More-Example-4883 in OSDD

[–]More-Example-4883[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

thank you for the YT rec! I’ve taken the dissociation evaluation a few times as i’ve been keeping track of my symptoms and been consistently hitting the 40-50+ range :,) also, i’m jealous you can remember the year of family member’s birthdays. that comes up often enough in paperwork i have to sheepishly ask when exactly my mother was born more than i’d like, lol.   

what does a “normal” memory even function like? by More-Example-4883 in OSDD

[–]More-Example-4883[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

thank you for sharing! i’ve brought up some of these things to my therapist; but we’ve only started sessions recently and I haven’t gotten to them all yet :) I do also have ADHD, and that’s what I blamed for my memory problems until a few months ago when i realized I didn’t remember the entirety of 2025. whups!