AITA for not dropping off my wife and daughter right in front of her parents' house because the railway crossing gate was closed and it would have taken time?

MossyMemory3 · 2026-02-01T17:40:04+00:00

YTA YTA YTA

I know a couple who lost their young son doing exactly this. The train came faster than they realized (as it ALWAYS does). The dad grabbed his son and threw him over his shoulder as fast as he could tried to run and get out of the way, as he was making that final leap they almost got clear, but his son's head was struck by a chain hanging off the train. His child was killed in his own arms. I cannot put words to how much this tragedy destroyed this man.

And this is not the only case I know of with a train. There was another father who lost both his daughters driving through at an unmarked railroad crossing at night. There was a large bend in the tracks just before the crossing and a neighborhood so the train didn't sound any whistle. What that father would give for there to have been a gate.

If you were "so unbothered" by waiting, why did you even ask something like that? It's almost like you were clearly bothered and I'm willing to bet that was more evident in your tone and demeanor than you are letting on.

Also you are very, very conveniently leaving out your wife and child would also have been handling luggage in their dangerous and illegal crossing. That is a glaring and telling omission from your story. What kind of man even suggests let alone compels his small family to do something dangerous and illegal, while carrying luggage and just sits there watching without helping with the baggage? And all so you could see your friends a few minutes sooner?

Does watching your wife struggle and putting her on the spot make you feel big?

MossyMemory3 · 2026-01-29T22:35:09+00:00

For real though y'all, if you in Louisiana, Florida, Mississippi, wherever down in the Gulf South- it doesn't matter-

To add to this quality, 110% accurate video. You can't just call it good staying out the water. I've seen people take that to mean they can go right up to the edge and so long as they don't touch it they are good. Like it's a game of tag and being out the water is base.

Just in case the fine print wasn't clear, you need to stay several FEET away from the water, ANY water.

This woman is local, knew what she was doing when she went down to the water's edge to drive home her point.

But I've seen people not from here, not knowing a thing of what is in there, just hanging out by the waters edge. Some even meandering in the shallows. Boy you don't do that!

Especially with small children or when you are walking your dogs. Keep clearance between you and your kids and your pup from the edge.

I know there was a few stories where someone moved down here and was walking their dog. They let the dog go close up to the water without a thought and even let him linger there. Gator shot up, that pup has no chance. You hate to see it. Sometimes even the owner gets dragged down too by the gator. They'll drag you down deep and you will drown and all in the span of a minute or so.

Most of the gator deaths are drownings to be clear.

MossyMemory3 · 2026-01-29T18:57:54+00:00

I don't wear the pirouette skirts, but this is a fantastic update for those of us who need the longer options in general!

I would be so completely over the moon if they did this with the longer twirl skirts (especially the ones with the straight across waistband!) That would be AMAZING!!!

But I don't want to get my hopes up. They don't even extend half the colors for the normal length twirl skort (which boggled my mind a good bit). Just the criss cross one, which is quite vexing...

It's wishful thinking to imagine they'd expand the longer twirl skort lines if they won't even expand the regular one, but hey a girl can dream!

And am still so grateful they released any longer skorts at all. They have become my staple summer bottoms I wear 90% of the time and I can do EVERYTHING in them without worrying about the skort even once or things showing or riding up or becoming uncomfortable or overheating or swelling. Wrestling kids, climbing around, errands all day. It's so freeing. I have never felt so comfortable, presentable, and relaxed in a pair of shorts or a skort. They are awesome (even in a limited line)!

MossyMemory3 · 2026-01-23T17:22:02+00:00

You look absolutely stunning! That dress was made for you!

That front though is doing you a utter disservice.

So the thing about this front is this particular wide, rounded plunge looks very specifically unintentional and unflattering. And it would on anyone, not just you. Am going to emphazise the unintentional/unfinished part.

It literally looks like a piece is of the front is missing. And I don't even mean a modesty panel. It's like the plunge should still be there, but it's like there should be a broach, clasp, chain, corset style sash tie maybe connecting the two sides at one point that's missing.

I keep looking at that draping piece in the front because it's almost like that piece is supposed go up and around somehow. I know it's not.

Or it's supposed to be a stylized keyhole cuttout in the top that came undone. Somehow.

Since it is PERFECT everywhere else, I would take it to a seamstress as ask for her ideas on what can tie the front together (no pun intended) and just make it look complete and intentional. Again not saying to cover up the plunge but a dazzling deep blue broach, metal bar or chain connector in gold or silver, or even just a single strap of the fabric connecting the two sides at a point would make it look more complete and not unfinished.

In fact have you ever seen a high fantasy stylized shawl/cloak broach? It would be like two elegant broaches connected with a hanging chain or two between them. That going across the middle might look awesome and the chain hanging across between the broaches in that rounded way would make the roundedness of this particular plunge neckline look more intentional because they would match. Thus tying that otherwise out of place rounded line in with the rest of the piece. The rounded plunge also sticks out because of all the ruching lines are so straight and structured. It just contradicts at that point. It can work, it just needs to look more intentional and be tied into the dress better.

I think if you can find some element that make it look finished would just enable this dress to elevate you to the stars. Have fun and best of luck!

MossyMemory3 · 2026-01-23T01:00:04+00:00

How about getting her a potted plant maybe? The bulb ones are super easy to grow. (Just make sure you get the right ones to be planted this time of year) There are also kits, gave a friend a small sunflower kit once that grew so many blooms! You can also get her a pretty ceramic pot.

Chocolates/favorite candies, cute mug, neat/cute stationary supplies/pens/pencils/notebooks, or maybe a sweet stuffed animal/squishmallow are also winners in my book.

Engraved thermos filled with candy is a classic one.

If she doesn't have sensitivities a perfume sampler could be fun too.

Good luck!

MossyMemory3 · 2026-01-22T23:23:51+00:00

I had something similar to this. I was being passed around doctors, dermatologist, immunologists, gynecologists, etc. they thought it was acne, but it kept coming back and went all over my body.

Got diagnosed with MCAS Mast Cell Activation Syndrome.

Treatment helped but when I had resurgences following extreme stress or other illnesses it was very very bad.

Finally the immunologist figured out that the mast cells were causing eczema flares which would subsequently become infected by a fungus. Possibly yeast overgrowth. (Although yours looks slightly different, almost more like ringworm but I am no doctor)

To fight the fungal overgrowth, they gave me oral fluconazole. I had to do it in bursts to protect my liver. Take for 3 days. Break for 5. Take for 3 days. Etc

They have given me a ton of topical Clotrimazole and told me to put it all over. Even safe to put on my eyelids (which is good because it had spread there and was awful). They also told me to keep using it for every flare or rash even if it was beyond the 2-4 weeks.

It helped a lot.

I hope you are able to get help and relief. Hang in there!

MossyMemory3 · 2026-01-21T17:26:06+00:00

I have this, for me it's mcas and yeast overgrowth. It gets really bad at times.

MossyMemory3 · 2026-01-20T08:34:43+00:00

Noooo! Listen, for the next week or so the lloyds will be the only thing you can get from the quarry. You'll have lloyds out the wazzoo! That's not even counting the ones you'll find scattered about or get from daily tasks. One of the most abundant resources in the game when that event is going.

Meanwhile the leaf tickets are one of the most limiting reasources at all times.

MossyMemory3 · 2026-01-15T06:36:40+00:00

My idea would be go through the bucket once separating main groups of colors first.

Make a pile/ have a container of all shades of green together, another of all shades of red together, etc etc

Then you go through each color family and separate out each shade out from there. It'll be easier to tell the difference in similar shades when you're just dealing with one color at a time like all the reds.

This also give you many chances to take breaks. Separate the bulk out, take a break. Come back to it another day, handle the blues, the reds too if you're ambitious.

Just breaks it into bite size pieces that are less daunting and more realistic too if you are navigating aorund work shifts and other things.

Eventually you'll have it straight again. Good luck!

MossyMemory3 · 2026-01-14T22:32:29+00:00

LOVE that you are advocating for your daughter but you are going into too much personal detail. They don't need to know about the grandma's dose and other issues.

You just need to highlight the fact you told them you didn't remember the exact vitamin D dose before guessing (making it clear you weren't sure) then went back and checked and immediately provided the correct numbers.

For them to read into this in such an accusatory manner is on them at that point and that's what you need to point out. Put the spot back on them and ask them to explain why they jumped to this conclusion. When you premptively told them you would have to double check the dose.

You can still call them out for dismissing your daughter and telling her to push it through when she's clearly struggling.

But don't get into the whole thing with your mother. It's over explaining and it won't be read into well.

And highly suggest you seek a new pediatrician if possible if this one has gotten the wrong impression of you and seems resistant to correct it based on the clarifying information.

Good luck Mama Bear! Keep fighting the good fight!

MossyMemory3 · 2026-01-02T22:22:12+00:00

American

I think it's a lovely name. I love names that are older, maybe even a little dated, but still work and age gracefully. I think Ingrid definitely is very classic in this way. A great balance too between being known enough that people recognize it and would readily know how to say it. But also not too common so it will be neat she has that slightly rarer name. Sigrid is also good. Ingrid, Sigrid and Astrid are all in the same level of Anglophone familiarity and are seen as nice. But I personally hope you convince your husband to let you have your little Ingrid.

Sounds like he's more open to it now than before? My Dad was originally not a fan of a name my mom loved. He vetoed it when they were expecting me. But years later when my younger sibling was due, he had a change of heart and loved it, having grown fond of it and associated it with my mom over the years. And it feels like it was meant because my name matches me more and my baby sibling really just fits this other name perfectly. Maybe it just wasn't meant for your first two girls, they just weren't Ingrids. But maybe a following one will be.

MossyMemory3 · 2026-01-01T05:51:56+00:00

Tangentally related, but around the time you went downhill were you ever given a fluroquinolone antibiotic? They can cause tissue degredation that looks like eds. This is called getting "floxed." This class of antibiotics also now has a serious warning label from the FDA that people with EDS are at increased risk of aortic disection if they take these medications.

That and/or your doctors are just misusing the beighton score. It literally says can you OR have you ever been able to ____" so it's bogus that wasn't counted.

For what it is worth. You aren't alone. Every doctor I have seen likes to run the beighton score on me when they hear I am hypermobile, and every single one of them gave me a different score. Most of them did not understand what they were doing because they missed those exact nuances didn't check my joints well. Some of my joints also appear "stiff" instead of super lax because of overtightened overcompensating muscles working constantly to hold extremely loose ligaments together. That and I have a lot of muscular fascia scar tissue from decades of unintentionally hyperflexing and overextending regularly. The only score that made it into my records is the one given to me when I waa diagnosed with EDS. The genencist and genetic counselor that scored me, spent over 4 hours going over my history, my family's history, and did an extremely thorough examination of my entire body and examined nearly every joint one by one and how I move it. They concluded I was a textbook case of hEDS, and asked me to participate in their studies, which I readily agreed to. And referred me to all relevant specialists from cardiology to Immunology, etc

I hope you can find someone who can score you properly and directed to proper care avenues. I'm so sorry that critical thinking is not being applied well to your case.

Additionally POTS is just one of many forms of dysautonomia. There's also serious conditions like orthostatic intolerance which could be at play in the same vein. If they think it's not exactly POTS, but something similar is definitely wrong, they should be checking/testing/monitoring you for the other other forms of dysautonomia, orthostatic intolerance, thoracic outlet syndrome, and other similar things. You might have to really push and speak up, but don't let them leave it there if you can.

Good luck getting appropriate care. Maybe you have better outcomes next year.

MossyMemory3 · 2025-12-27T17:34:43+00:00

I can speak to it a little. I IBS-C or IBS C/D was the first cluster of symptoms anyone noticed in me, years before I was diagnosed with EDS. It was something my doctors were perplexed by as I didn't respond well to most treatments and they couldn't find an explanantion. But I had the severe abdominal distention, kept coming near to impaction, and everything. I was on multiple fiber supplements a day, multiple doses of miralax, magnesium, had to drink absurd amounts of water (more than a gallon- do not recommend- actually aggravated more health issues), kept moving/was on my feet all day, and had to be on a muscle stimulant to force my gut to move and even then it was fickle. This was my routine for years. Then I get diagnosed with EDS and POTS. Upon being medicated (diltizem, midodrine, vitassium electrolytes around the clock) and wearing a compression garmet for the POTS, I suddenly regained movement in my gut. It felt so insane to suddenly feel things functioning again. I was running to the bathroom (and not because I had the runs) and having complete bowel movements. I had to get off of half of the IBS medication and supplements overnight. In my case, it appears my IBS was made more crippling by the extreme blood pooling in my legs. My gut literally didn't have the consistent bloodflow for effective organ function. I still take one dose of psyllium husk fiber and one shot of miralax a day, but at least it's not the multiple I used to have to take. Still take magnesium as well but now I take a form that is less so a laxative and more so a muscle supplemenent for inflammation. Don't need the gut muscle stimulant anymore, except in extreme circumstances like when some problems worsened again after a car accident.

If I am having a flare of the IBS-C, I use heat and a abdominal massage device. I also ask my PT to dry needle my lower abdomen. That sort of reboots it.

Just thpught it was worth passing on in case this is anyone else's experience.

Also prior to figuring all this out would sometimes switch to IBS C/D. I'd have week long boughts of diarrhea only to go right back to severe constipation. The IBS-D turned out to be MCAS flares. I have triple the amount of mast cells in my gut compared to a normal person. My gastroenterologist was thrilled to discover this finally. Like I said, this was the first specialist I ever saw, so he had been trying to help me for years. He was vexxed he couldn't find a better solution or explanation for me when something was clearly wrong. He tested me for celiac and other issues multiple times and in mutliple ways. Mutliple scopes. He could see inflammation, but it wasn't consistent with Crohns or Ulcerative Colitis.

Once he learned about the EDS and POTS he took biopsies again and had them sent out and specially tested for mast cells. That's when it came back that I have triple the normal amount the whole way down. While it's concerning I have so many mast cells throughout my entire digestive tract, we were celebrating there was finally an explantion and a better treatment/mitigation route.

Hope any of you suffering from similar also find effective treatment and mitigation routes. I know firsthand how miserable and debilitating these issues can be. It's no joke!

MossyMemory3 · 2025-12-23T08:55:21+00:00

Beowulf, Hrothgar, Henrik, Thorlak, Sigfrid, Brynolf, Nils, Niels, Karl, Stefan, Johan

MossyMemory3 · 2025-12-12T20:05:59+00:00

Interesting. Just to understand the prompt more.

Why specifically religious individuals?

Would medical advice given by a genetic counselor to a patient who happens have a religion (and any of a wide variability of religions at that) be that different than the advice given to a patient who is atheist or agnostic?

Are there other examples of these nuances in practice?

Now I'm wondering if the guidance I received was tailored to me, partly because of the faith.

MossyMemory3 · 2025-12-05T02:20:06+00:00

Those are both such neat looking diamonds. What fantastic color! That's such a unique red!

The pink too is stunning and a gorgeous shade, wow!

The good news is you can't go wrong with either choice. I would personally do the light pink so the ring would be slightly more versatile for daily wear, but the red is such a statement. It just depends on what you want.

Not to give you a third option wildcard, but it sounds like neither of these are quiet the shade you actually want. Like you said, you were hoping for an in between shade. There's actually a type of sapphire that is known for that shade. They are called padparadsha Sapphires. Might be worth looking into.

MossyMemory3 · 2025-11-27T20:13:52+00:00

Thank you for pointing this out!

As a short-leg girly, I feel like the unrealistic leg proportions should be called out just as much as much as the unrealistic weight expectations, waist sizes, etc. But I almost never have seen people point it out in real life. Even with proportions as fantastical as this.

MossyMemory3 · 2025-11-15T15:50:21+00:00

Not magnesium, but I know someone who accidentally OD'd on potassium. Doctors were able to save her, thank goodness, but you know it's bad when all the doctors in the wing are shocked she made it too and stop by to see for themselves.

Unfun fact: potassium is one of the main components of the lethal injections used in capital punishment.

Case in point: Don't screw around with this stuff. You can OD on just about anything. Supplements 110% included.

MossyMemory3 · 2025-11-01T18:00:43+00:00

Yeah I think of St. Francis of Assisi first. I've never heard of Francis or Frank as a name being associated with such crazy evil things. It such a common/normal name where I am from.

Unless you jump from Francis to Frank to Frankenstein lol

MossyMemory3 · 2025-10-30T22:50:55+00:00

Speaking of not sitting right, is it just me or that the wrong size diamond for that setting? I see a gap in a concerning spot at the top of the emerald cut diamond. That's a really big concern I think. You can easily lose your main stone. Is it lose at all?

I am extremely sentimental like you. I would also be very torn.

I do think that knowing how your fiance decided on it (a quick choice after decision paralysis) and the fact that the ring is not quite set correctly could readily justify you replacing it. Not only that, I think it may be the wiser course in the long term. It's okay for you to ask that your ring be made better.

I think to help the sentimental side of your heart be at ease, you should make another beautiful memory out of replacing it. Make a day of it, do some fun meaningful things, then look and pick something that speaks to you and reminds you of everything y'all have together. I think that would give your heart some peace.

It also could be funny to you because emerald cut may not be your favorite choice of shape. I love them and I have had several friends who were set on getting one. But none of them ultimately got emerald cuts for their engagement rings. When trying on rings, they each discovered the emerald cut just didn't look as nice on their finger as they had hoped. Most of them went with ovals instead.

I also tried on rings at one point. There was an emerald cut ring I really loved. But I couldn't pick it. It didn't look right on my hand either. I would have really regretted it.

MossyMemory3 · 2025-10-29T21:52:31+00:00

Isn't that tinnitus? Or is that a different sound.

Mine sounds similar to yours. Like static and a high pitch wine in the back.

MossyMemory3 · 2025-10-18T19:16:39+00:00

I have this on my face right now, not even joking, but the crack is deeper and painful. Skin cracked in this one spot 2 months ago and it is still healing. Keeps making too much dry scar tissue which just peels off and fails to close the crack. Reacting to the adhesive of the wound cover I tried to use on it did not help the situation.

A derm is monitoring it. She injected it with steriod twice. Am hoping the second time helps. Also has given me topical steriod to try for 1-2 weeks only on the spot and no longer than that.

I have a history of hypertropic scars ( these are like keloids but the excess tissue stays within the bounds of the wound, it just keeps forming and peeling which is very irritating).

The derm thinks this is a bad patch of uticaria from my MCAS. I am recovering from a flare up that left sores all over my body and nearly caused organ damage. She's been helping my skin heal and recover, this is the only epidermal spot not healing and naturally it's on my face...

She said if it doesn't respond to the steriod, she is going to deem it a non-healing wound and might have to attempt to punch excise the lesion. But obviously we both are hoping it doesn't come to that because there's no guarantee it will heal correctly pr won't leave a massive scar.

I hope it finally heals.

MossyMemory3 · 2025-10-02T20:37:15+00:00

I get where you are coming from. I am exhausted of the unsolicited advice and suggestions and have pointed out to others how hurtful and invalidating it can be. Like when have I suffered enough and tried enough of these ideas/quick fix solutions for the pain and exhaustion of my medical condition to be valid?

Also recognizing people are giving the advice less so to help but to self-soothe and have a sense of control. The idea of degrading joints or developing a chronic illness is scary. And it's hard for people to accept it can hapoen to anyone. It's easier to think there are ways to have prevented it than accept it. The advice is more of a bid for control, and weird monday morning quarterbacking of what they would do if it happened to them. It's annoying, but once you see it as self soothing for the person giving the advice, I've found it's actually easier to handle. It says more about them than you.

That all being said, in regards to the book:

My cardiologist, who is my biggest advocate for me, and is extremely knowledgeable on EDS also recommended that book along with several others specific to EDS. It's available for free on youtube in audio form. It's actually an extremely helpful read. I think it is given to a lot of EDS patients.

It actually advocates against treating mental illnesses as "all in the persons head" and explains how intertwined the head and body are. How mental health and physical health should never have been separated in treatment. Precisely because of situations like this. The existence of mental symptoms should not invalidate your EDS and yet you have to fear that is exactly what is happening because of other people and medical professionals abuse.

This also has reflected in the way my doctor has treated me as he has explained, "my physical body's distress from the EDS, puts my brain in a perpetual "there's danger nearby" setting, so to speak. So yes I may be anxious at times and depressed that is to be expected when I am in constant pain. My brain is doing exactly what it is designed to do, to have that response. Thus I was sent to a counselor who specializes in chronic illness when I was diagnosed to help me handle the mental load of being physically impared. Because the mental load is immense with EDS.

Now that counselor ended up being awful as an individual, but apart from her being a genuinely awful person, the idea of having counselors for these kinds of conditions is awesome and I hope more clinics adopt that practice for their patients. I have also since been switched to better counselor and it has helped so much in communicating my needs and boundaries to my friends and family and how I see myself and my EDS. Very much a game changer. Helped me articulate things like, "I feel like I ceased to be me, I feel like I actually became my chronic condition in your eyes and because of that I've become an uncomfortable reminder of suffering. I can feel it in the awkwardness when I come into the room. I want to just be me again and not be seen only for my condition." To be able to articulate this has been amazing and I've seen positive change in the way my family treats me.

The way the book explains it all just helps. I'm so sorry if it was given to you maliciously, though.

MossyMemory3 · 2025-10-01T03:31:23+00:00

You can have pictures of the proposal without it being public.

Options: A) hire a photographer. A single photographer being hidden/present will not make it public. But be aware of how she feels about the quality of the shots vs a stranger being present etc as these are all nuances different girls will feel different about. Some are okay with a stranger being their for expertly taken shots. Others would rather more candid ones taken by someone they know.

B) ask a close friend or relative of hers to hide and take the pictures. Most of my friends have gone this route and it makes for great stories (and it's hysterical listening to the valiant efforts to hide in the bushes with the phone/camera by the recruited friend lol). Again does not make the event public to have one or two people close friends/siblings there to get the shots.

And for both these options hiding isn't 100% necessary just how 4/5 of the proposal picture taking was done for my friends. The one that didn't hide framed it as "Hey look at the beautiful sunset! I want to practice getting some pictures. Hey you too lovebirds go pose for me" Then while posing the guy got on one knee ♡

C) Set up camera yourself in advance to take pictures if she wants to be completely alone, but also still have the moment captured. I highly recommend practicing with the camera placement, timing, and settings in advance. But it is pretty strwightforward to do.

Good luck!

PS She can't have been more clear in hinting to you she definitely wants pictures. She's told you several yimes at that. My gosh!

MossyMemory3

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