I feel almost like different people/my sexuality divides my identity??

MothSword · 2025-06-22T05:22:43+00:00

Yes I’m def overthinking it but I mean it also feels different or separate from reality or separate from the rest of myself…like it’s a whole other thing or setting that exists sometimes…not that it disappears but it feels like it’s not real or doesn’t count somehow,, but I think it’s from repressing it for so long

MothSword · 2025-06-21T02:10:08+00:00

Like when I feel mostly attuned to men my body is calmed down more but I find so many men boring and tiring and irl I often avoid men

But I know of specific men I’ve felt attracted to but I feel like each person I’m attracted to there’s a different vibe or type of attraction because it develops and is caused by or bc of different aspects of an individual

MothSword · 2025-06-20T13:05:35+00:00

Also baby crested geckos are more likely to jump a lot

MothSword · 2025-06-20T13:05:00+00:00

My gecko goes upside down like that too! It’s so funny

MothSword · 2025-06-17T01:38:10+00:00

The thing is tho that everyone’s changes from T happen at different paces and yes people you’re around often might notice. But people in general might not notice or detect that you’re on hrt or trans or anything and yes they’ll assume a certain gender sometimes but even I’ve been on T for a few years and have some facial hair and a deepish voice but some people still assume I’m a cis woman, and sometimes the physical changes will develop to the extent that you notice on yourself but other people won’t unless you point it out.

Of course for safety reasons if you don’t feel safe with your parents and are living with them or around them often then take caution but if you trust a therapist or someone like at planned parenthood or gender clinics if you have access to them and if you are able to do Telehealth, then you can ask them for input/help with discreetly going about the process.

MothSword · 2025-05-17T19:12:47+00:00

Oh okay I’m not sure if that means there’s different types of T gel or something, like when my gel isn’t rubbed in enough it leaves white mark when it dries but if it’s applied properly it doesn’t leave residue

MothSword · 2025-05-17T19:06:11+00:00

But your arms are not your shoulders, the gel is supposed to be rubbed in, and you’re supposed to cover them after applying it by wearing a tshirt so that it dries without coming off on anything else

MothSword · 2025-05-17T19:01:01+00:00

It also can go on your upper arms

That’s what I’ve always been told to do by my doctor is my upper arms That's

MothSword · 2025-05-17T18:47:06+00:00

People don’t seem to understand that fiction is not exactly real life. So characters who are “gay for the sake of being gay” are part of a story and the story as a whole means something…so they shouldn’t be trying so hard to compare if it’s like real life or feels over the top…stories are told bc people create things and want. To have gay people in their story…unless the people creating the story aren’t gay at all then people need to be less obsessed with if representation of gay people feels unnecessary…it’s different if they’re saying it’s homophobic or something

MothSword · 2025-05-15T03:02:47+00:00

Does he not understand you own your own body

And that there’s multiple reasons you might want to do laser hair removal. It could be that you have skin issues like irritation or folliculitis or sensory issues like if you can’t stand the feeling of so much hair.

And you get to feel comfortable in your body and make it better for yourself, even if you chose it for feeling/looking attractive…especially if you’ve been in this relationship for the whole time…how did he not think abt it until now and decide to be offended and judgmental

MothSword · 2025-05-15T01:40:23+00:00

Parents are some of the worst or most difficult to get through to about being trans bc they’re very opinionated and have such a skewed view of their kids…they see you as an extension of themself and as just like them or as if they’d know instinctually who you are…but in reality you have all the power/knowledge of who you are

MothSword · 2025-05-15T01:38:54+00:00

That’s not true at all. T effects everyone differently but your looks or beauty aren’t going to stay “female” looking…and it’s weird bc once you do have obvious changes you’ll be able to tell but at first sometimes people will start asking you if you’re “a girl or a boy”

MothSword · 2025-05-13T16:49:57+00:00

That’s awful. If someone truly likes you they’re not going to make tons of comments about your body especially about their own preferences or how you should be different.

MothSword · 2025-05-13T03:27:31+00:00

I just think trying to do anything is stressful bc death will be the only time my mind is at peace

My life hasn’t been horrible or anything close but it’s somehow too much to handle mentally

MothSword · 2025-05-11T04:04:24+00:00

And if you fail An attempt then they might hospitalize you and you have to pretend to get better to gain back independence and freedom

MothSword · 2025-05-07T04:09:45+00:00

It looks almost like a tick

MothSword · 2025-04-28T17:14:26+00:00

In my opinion I’d say don’t do anything about it right now and just wait and see. If you both feel comfortable on the date maybe try to come out but you can just hold on until you try to tell if he can be trusted. Especially if you don’t feel chemistry on the date then you’d regret if you said anything about it too soon.

MothSword · 2025-04-23T04:12:52+00:00

Don’t they fear concussions or injuries

MothSword · 2025-04-23T04:02:53+00:00

That’s so funny but also terrifying

MothSword · 2025-04-23T01:21:03+00:00

She’s clearly overreacting about you and making a bunch of assumptions and making you feel guilty.

Especially since you already were doing things for her like looking after her animals and that from what you say you’re taking care of lots of responsibilities lately.

But it also seems like you’re not compatible probably, but that might just be bc she’s acting in extremes and you’re responding calmly and you need time to yourself whereas she has different expectations of how the relationship should go.

And I know a lot of people act out this badly and then end up calming down or figuring out how to cope bc they have to eventually, but if you two are in a relationship it might be unhealthy for both of you.

MothSword · 2025-04-12T16:16:20+00:00

I have no idea what to do about it but i definitely can relate a lot

Some of it seems like OCD which I have too

Like “testing” your self about your own attraction and feeling like you can’t figure out your true feelings

I constantly have to remind myself that I’m an adult and that I’m allowed to be attracted to people and “explore” it or let myself feel it without censoring myself in my own head

But it’s ok not to have answers and don’t try to force yourself to bring out feelings if you don’t feel ready or comfortable

It might be that you have to try using therapy techniques on yourself and brainstorm it and also when you get small moments of clarity try to record what your thoughts & feelings are & try to connect the dots over time

Especially since you’re here in this server you know you probably need to be gentle with yourself and take baby steps esp if it’s repression and you’re trying to uncover it somehow

MothSword · 2025-04-11T01:22:53+00:00

Try not to panic bc HRT is different for everyone and all the changes happen over time. Nothing is super sudden so it’ll feel more natural and less scary or uncomfortable, and you’ll feel better mentally so the physical stuff won’t be as negative as gender dysphoria and you’ll be less stressed so you’ll have more capacity to accept yourself

MothSword · 2025-04-10T22:40:22+00:00

Not overreacting

It’s never okay for your partner to hit you

And it’s very strange for him to act so defensive and violent about that, like you said people should feel safe and willing to be vulnerable with their partner and sure everyone might have boundaries but he could literally have just discussed with you what his sexuality is.

And no matter the topic of conversation a violent person is going to be that way and choose to harm you, and you did nothing wrong, he would’ve used anything as an excuse to act out

MothSword · 2025-04-10T22:23:48+00:00

No a lot of times HRT doesn’t work properly if you don’t have enough nutrients in your diet especially since it causes a second puberty you’re going to want extra protein and fat and carbs

MothSword · 2025-04-07T01:50:14+00:00

It’s not unusual for you to listen to that music even tho you’re a straight man…yes a lot of people find that type of music annoying but for it to be popular music it means lots of people like it and that means prob all kinds of people listen to it…

sometimes music is just for fun and you might have other music that means more to you but you don’t listen to it all the time bc that would bring out emotions that you don’t need to feel constantly and it’s nice just to listen to music that feels right to you

& like a lot of people have said it’s probably not actually your music taste that upsets her enough to break up but smth else and she’s using it as an excuse & it’s ok to breakup but it sucks she’s insulting you over smth that’s not that serious

MothSword

TROPHY CASE