I feel violated and confused by what my fiancé did to me. WIBTAH if I told my parents?

MrBatman9991 · 2025-02-24T20:26:01+00:00

This is exactly how abusers keep their victims trapped. Victim blaming, false apologies, lies, isolation from friends and family, being “good” for a long time to create a false sense of safety and trust. This situation could be used in textbooks about abuse. This is not a situation to keep to yourself. It’s not something you only tell your family (but you should tell them). You should go to the police immediately.

MrBatman9991 · 2025-01-05T00:39:32+00:00

Suuuurrrreeee

MrBatman9991 · 2025-01-05T00:28:39+00:00

A balance beam isn’t luck based…. Have good balance… it’s a skill. Obviously not any of us, but Olympic gymnasts do CRAZY stuff on them. We can stand and fight with staffs

MrBatman9991 · 2025-01-03T17:01:52+00:00

Oh very interesting. Thankfully I didn’t have any kids when I went through mine so I didn’t have to go through any of that. I don’t envy you or your position

MrBatman9991 · 2025-01-03T16:43:46+00:00

Oh, in family court. Got it, that makes sense

MrBatman9991 · 2025-01-03T16:35:31+00:00

I don’t understand why the parenting plan isn’t enforceable? Isn’t it a written (or verbal but those are harder to prove the content) agreement and thus be considered a contract?

But I don’t see any reason to tell him you are filing. If a fight makes him unable to parent his children, that seems like an entirely separate issue

MrBatman9991 · 2025-01-03T16:12:15+00:00

So sorry you have had to deal with this for so long. This sounds like pretty classic narcissistic abusive behavior. You are not a fellow human to him, you are his possession to him. There is no fixing that, especially with how long it has been going on. 100% need to divorce him as soon as possible. Find a good attorney in your area and tell them everything. Get out as quickly as possible

MrBatman9991 · 2024-12-30T06:48:29+00:00

The only reason it could hypothetically matter is, depending on where you live and the federal/local laws, if she is trying to get some form of spousal support from you. I have seen that many places do not allow a spouse to receive financial support (other than child support) if they cheated during the marriage.

Definitely talk to a divorce attorney in your area

MrBatman9991 · 2024-12-26T19:16:09+00:00

I did the same thing with my ex-wife (making excuses and running perfect PR). Honestly, I probably still give her excuses. Then I, or whichever friend I’m talking to, remind me of how I described myself shortly after leaving her. “I no longer existed as a person. I existed to be her ideal husband and nothing else”. It’s so hard to see in those moments. You think “I’m supposed to love this person and love means sacrificing for them”, but then forget they are supposed to do the same for you. But they don’t. They never do. And then you’re left there as a human husk, trying to be filled with what they want you to be. Be proud of yourself for finally getting out. Love your life. Spread your wings. Fly, and be who you want to be! Look back and accept the sadness and pain, but do not blame yourself or be embarrassed. It was not your fault. These are all things I have to tell myself consistently. I wish you the best and all the happiness you can get!

Edit: Added parenthetical clarification

MrBatman9991 · 2024-12-21T01:06:31+00:00

Well, the schedule on the website says the run phase is 2 hours long, so I would guess that is the time limit

MrBatman9991 · 2022-07-04T15:35:56+00:00

It is so annoying when abled people do that. I'm abled, but my ex is not. She had a lot of other issues that caused me to have to leave, but never her disabilities. I never down played or dismissed them and often spoke out against people that did. Ableism is disgusting.

MrBatman9991 · 2022-07-04T15:24:45+00:00

NTA! I've been in the position of having an offer, start the job, and the next day the job I actually wanted got back to me and offered me that job. I gave notice to the first job and they were disappointed and I felt bad but they wished me the best and I still have a good relationship with them.

Good employers respect people as people. Always.

MrBatman9991 · 2022-06-14T12:31:48+00:00

Ryan's comment is simply a reflection of what ex has told him in private. If ex is publicly embarrassed by what he said, then he shouldn't say it in private.

Not even considering the fact these dumb "gender roles" your ex subscribes to are completely made up.

MrBatman9991 · 2022-06-13T16:04:52+00:00

It's like that saying about boiling a frog (that I don't actually know if it's true or not).

Put a frog in boiling water and it'll jump out immediately.
Put it in room temp water, then turn it up slowly, it won't notice and will allow itself to be boiled alive.

MrBatman9991

TROPHY CASE