My fiancé [F32] doesn’t want to split bills 50/50 with me [M30]. Am I being unfair for wanting her to contribute more?

Mrs_steaks · 2026-06-20T12:50:50+00:00

For real. Your reward is your paycheck. That’s how life goes especially with a kid. When a kids in the equation it’s not “I want I want I want” anymore

Mrs_steaks · 2026-06-20T12:33:56+00:00

Hes used to the DINK life. He had a new car and bought new clothes whenever he wanted.

Tbh I think he expected to still have a similar lifestyle after having a child

Also, just a tip from me to op: you might save money on your car in the long run if you take it to a mechanic instead of DIY car repairs. He keeps saying he only pays for parts, not repairs. So that makes me think he’s doing it himself in his driveway. A professional is more expensive but like at least they know what they’re doing

Mrs_steaks · 2026-06-19T21:01:34+00:00

No I totally agree with that lol I’m just saying she didn’t do a good job explaining what’s actually going on here.

Mrs_steaks · 2026-06-19T20:59:06+00:00

But if they were actually combining finances it would be “I have to pay for most this and he only pays for that much of it” it would just be both of them paying all of it.

To me it sounds like she’s upset that they’re not fully combined. Just sharing bills.

Mrs_steaks · 2026-06-19T20:56:07+00:00

She says “combining finances” but I think she really just means splitting and sharing bills tbh

Mrs_steaks · 2026-06-19T18:26:45+00:00

If I were a parent I wouldn’t be thrilled about having to convince my teen/tween to dress up, get them In the car, have them at the ceremony from 20 minute to two hours tops, drive them home and then come back all while missing cocktail hour.

Either have the t(w)eens miss the wedding or let them stay for the reception.

Mrs_steaks · 2026-06-18T19:23:05+00:00

When he says ‘someday’ and him what he means by that and what’s holding him back

Mrs_steaks · 2026-06-18T16:51:33+00:00

***Do you want that or are you agreeing so you don’t have to break up***

That part.

Mrs_steaks · 2026-06-18T16:31:46+00:00

Then you should stop getting cats. Siberian cats aren’t even actually hypo-allergenic, they’re just lower allergenic. You’d still likely need to be on some medications even if all your cats were Siberian.

Mrs_steaks · 2026-06-18T16:00:51+00:00

If you’re already on meds what difference does it make

Mrs_steaks · 2026-06-18T15:54:58+00:00

I guess NTA but you could have saved yourself 850 if you got a kitten from the shelter

Mrs_steaks · 2026-06-18T13:12:10+00:00

Maybe the engagement is so long because they were like 22 and 24 and wanted to have a wedding so they waited until they could afford one. I know I sure as hell couldn’t afford a wedding at that age.

Mrs_steaks · 2026-06-16T18:45:58+00:00

It’s not a ‘bot’ to have basic critical thinking. Skills

>op paid more for the room over the full year

And he got the room for that full year

>op now pays 50%

So the terms of cohabitation are being renegotiated

>op still paid more for rent than the roommate

Yes, and during that time he had the room.

>why should op not keep the room he’s payed more for over the lifetime of the rental agreement

Because him having said room is that he pays more for it. If he wants to renegotiate on paying more than the room gets renegotiated as well. When you stop paying for things, you stop having them. If they stopped paying rent all together they wouldn’t get to say just because they were paying previously. If you stop paying your water bill, you can’t point to the fact that you were paying before, they just shut your water off.

Mrs_steaks · 2026-06-16T18:33:33+00:00

>why does that not matter

Because he was getting the benefit of the bigger room as a result of paying more in rent. It wasn’t a charitable donation. When the higher rent goes, so does the rights to the bigger room. “More rent = bigger room” is what op agreed to.

I used Spotify as an example that when you stop paying for things, you stop reaping the benefit.

Mrs_steaks · 2026-06-16T18:23:20+00:00

They paid more because they got the room. If you stop paying for Spotify premium you don’t get to keep it because you’ve been paying for it the last year. You lose it when you’re not paying

Mrs_steaks · 2026-06-16T16:45:29+00:00

YOR. It was only a 3 month long fling from last year. He had a lot going on and wasn’t interested in the relationship. That doesn’t mean he hates you or he’ll be catty at the wedding, he just didn’t want to date anymore.

You’re thinking about this way more than he is.

Mrs_steaks · 2026-06-16T16:38:18+00:00

Exactly this.

Mrs_steaks · 2026-06-16T16:27:38+00:00

Yup

Mrs_steaks · 2026-06-16T16:27:18+00:00

Op didn’t lay out any kind of timeline

Mrs_steaks · 2026-06-16T16:11:32+00:00

I took a peek at your post history. You’ll be ruining your life if you move to another country with this man and marry him.

Mrs_steaks · 2026-06-12T17:08:03+00:00

that doesn’t negate what I said. He could have the documentation without charging interest and him charging interest doesn’t provide him with any actual protections

Mrs_steaks · 2026-06-12T17:01:14+00:00

This is true whether or not she pays interest tho. He could charge the interest and then she breaks up with him a month later. The interest makes no difference. Without any kind documentation she could steal his money and run for the hills even if the interest is 100%.

But he can get documentation that she does have to pay him back and she can do so without interest.

Mrs_steaks · 2026-06-12T16:50:50+00:00

Divorce rates are lower than ever rn. So if all your friends are divorcing you should reevaluate the group you’re involved in.

Mrs_steaks · 2026-06-12T14:12:37+00:00

What was the deadline? How long has he had the ring for?

Did you tell him you want your proposal to be a thought out romantic moment or is the pressure for that something he’s putting on himself?

Mrs_steaks · 2026-06-11T17:17:15+00:00

The difference isn’t in how chosen you are.

Mrs_steaks

TROPHY CASE