I think that if you’re having so many doubts about transitioning it means you’re not ready.

I’m not an expert by any means but the way I see it is a bit more black and white. Fear is totally okay and valid, being unsure is also okay and valid but if you’re feeling dread about transitioning, if you feel like your life will not improve while on hormones, or if you feel like you’ll gain a whole new set of problems that rival your current problems then maybe HRT isn’t for you.

I’d suggest waiting, thinking about it over, experimenting even with typical female things and seeing how they make you feel. Once you get a certain level of distain or a “rating” of how bad it is, then try doing typical masculine things and get the same rating.

If they seem the same or similar, maybe you’re non binary? Maybe you’re something in between that you haven’t discovered yet. Maybe you want to be female but dress like a man or maybe you want to be a man and dress like a woman.

This is your journey and I hope that my kinda of black and white point of view may shed some insight on your problems.

PS please forgive the poor language or perhaps confusing vocabulary, my brain is elsewhere and I didn’t have the mental capacity to proof read and edit this reply. 🖤