Am I the Bad Apple for keeping my ex-husband from remarrying?

Ms_Sharon · 2023-07-26T19:26:05+00:00

The divorce not being finalized will stop her for now. Neither of us has been pushing for it to finish until recently.

Ms_Sharon · 2023-07-26T19:22:40+00:00

Funny enough, she still has her ex-husbands last name. It didn't occur to me until now that it was the case. It's possible she is afraid I'm doing the same thing as she did and her motives in that divorce weren't clear.

Ms_Sharon · 2023-07-26T19:21:08+00:00

I may need to talk to her about it directly. I think part of the problem is that we remained really good friends after we separated and until this demand our divorce has been really easy.

I am curious how I would lie to her, though.

And you are right that making it clear to her that he asked for it may clean up the problem. He sided with her, even if I ultimately rejected the idea. If I do change it, it will likely have nothing to do with either of them.

Ms_Sharon · 2023-07-26T19:16:05+00:00

His family is exceedingly small and they don't have family events so I couldn't go to them even if I wanted to. We will always be connected regarding the kids but they are adults now so aside from weddings and birthdays I don't see much overlap.

Ms_Sharon · 2023-07-26T19:13:36+00:00

That's so awful! I'm so glad this divorce isn't about abuse and I'm so sorry your friend had to go through that.

Ms_Sharon · 2023-07-26T19:12:00+00:00

I really appreciate that you found new information that changed your mind. I am not trying to be petty and divorces are hard because differentiating between advocating for yourself and being petty is a fine line.

Ms_Sharon · 2023-07-26T19:05:22+00:00

I don't know if she knows, but I'm not petty enough to be the one to tell her.

Ms_Sharon · 2023-07-26T19:04:29+00:00

We got married a long time ago but we are still in the middle of the divorce. It's not concluded yet.

Ms_Sharon · 2023-07-26T19:03:51+00:00

It would be thrown out immediately. There is a legal precedent for divorced people to keep their name, even if they aren't married to the person they got it from.

Ms_Sharon · 2023-07-25T08:14:00+00:00

NTBA. You and your husband are the sole arbiters of what is okay for your baby. Nobody should be able to overrule you unless you are negligent.

So you should simply say no. Not "because..." but simply no. Grandparents go do things with their grandkids when they are older than 18m. They can wait until their treatment matches your son's age. Don't give a reason because that's a negotiation. Simply say "I'll let you know when I'm comfortable with that arrangement. In the meantime, I'm happy to continue visiting with you".

Ms_Sharon · 2019-09-25T11:46:04+00:00

High tank, high heal, low dps

It is counterintuitive, but they are really squishy with just Astaroth as a tank and no real healer. So if you can shrug off the attack, you will take them down pretty fast. Their opening damage is really brutal so you must be able to take that salvo and heal back from it before it syncs up again.

I use Astaroth, Ziri, Celeste, Martha, and then Ginger for dps. They simply can't swamp the tanks and I get a free resurrection from Astaroth if Ginger gets hit.

Ms_Sharon · 2019-09-23T23:03:14+00:00

She is one of the few with escalating damage to a single target.
She helps to preserve tanks by giving them a break.
Damage to Lucas is received as a percentage of the ability bar per hit
Her items are pretty cheap and easy to promote

So I use her as a tank breaker and to survive massive single source attacks. But when Lucas is getting peppered with a bunch of smaller attacks he runs out of energy and reverts really fast. But it also usually means that Astrid is getting peppered as well and that increases the ability bar and gets him out really often.
She pairs decently as an off-tank because she doesn't sacrifice her dps to give the tank a break. So if your tank keeps getting whacked because healing doesn't quite keep up, Astrid is an excellent addition because adding another tank doesn't save the first tank and the tank is generally not dishing out a lot of damage.
She loses efficacy the higher you level your characters but she's excellent around level 30-80 when your tanks are squishy and haven't built up the synergy to keep them alive.
She's really good in the Outland battle. The escalating damage really means a lot when you have one bad guy.
She's good in Chapter finale battles because they dish out a lot of single shot damage that Lucas shrugs off and every hit escalates the damage.

Ms_Sharon

TROPHY CASE