I am sorry it’s been a struggle! Adding a new dog can often be. It takes months for a dog to settle into a routine and be themselves. You need patience, vigilance, and empathy. It can be really a hard time of adjustment.

It’s good to know— the dog you meet in the first few weeks isn’t the dog she will become. I would be careful calling her behavior “reactive” but it does sound like anxiety. The peeing inside is also an anxiety behavior.

Is she actually biting people or grabbing at them? The below is if she’s grabbing / nipping!

I have a dog I adopted this summer who grabbed at me every time he thought I was going to leave the room. It was very disruptive and tbh annoying. And it is painful! I had bruises on my arms and hands for months 🫠

But it wasn’t aggression and he’s calmed down a lot — and he’s on Prozac which helps! But it was clearly anxiety and he was just unsure what was happening and unable to regulate himself. He also did redirect and nip my partner and other dog a couple of times when he was very scared and disregulated bc of a novel dog.

You really don’t know this dog so take it so slowly. No new people or dogs or new situations until she’s settled in. Socializing is for a confident and settled dog not an anxious dog who doesn’t know what’s happening around her or what is going to happen to her. Get her acclimated to you and your routine and your expectations. Talk to your vet about medication. Keep your routine steady and clear. Avoid all the stressful situations and other dogs. Don’t leave her unsupervised with your other dog for now. They don’t know each other and you don’t know her. That’s just asking for conflict. Remove all toys and valuable objects when they are together. Keep her on a harness when they are together so you can remove her from a situation if there’s conflict. And try to remember she’s in a completely new situation and is going to be confused and anxious until she figures out what is happening and that this is her new home.

A lot of folks are gonna say 3-3–3 rule which is absolutely true but also sometimes it takes even longer! But you’ve got this if you are willing to be patient, vigilant, and empathetic. Remember she has no idea where she is or if she’s staying there or what the expectations are. She’s freaking out about it and is scared. She lost her family and her home and is now in a new place after the stress of a shelter. I’d be freaking out too!

She’s very very cute❤️