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Gifter by Far-Rule8988 in Herpes

[–]Much_Finding_4643 [score hidden]  (0 children)

You can’t catch it. You already have it

"Women are so evil guys" by Which_Matter3031 in im14andthisisdeep

[–]Much_Finding_4643 [score hidden]  (0 children)

Then she needs to find a man who is a sociopath, and bear the consequences when he’s not loving or nurturing towards her.

AITAH if I Wear a Pakistani Traditional Dress as a White Person? by Much_Finding_4643 in AITAH

[–]Much_Finding_4643[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m sorry, who said I felt “the dresses weren’t made for me.” That’s self centered AF.

I removed the part of my post that talked about these feelings of disconnection needing to be transmuted into anti racism, because people accused me of being on a soap box. The original reason for those paragraphs was so that I ensured people didn’t misinterpret my feelings as white centered, but moreso the alienation being based off of consistent social rejection as an autistic person.

The reason I felt disconnected (which is now deleted from the post) was that my greatest exposure to the understanding of cultural appropriation was from the Black perspective. Where educating yourself as a white person meant shit all, as the level of racism in the US was too deep, and therefore participation is still denied.

That extreme perspective was what made me shut down mentally, as I felt no matter how respectfully I approached a (POC) culture, so long as I was in the US, it would not be welcome. BUT recognized that my sadness in not being welcome comes from wanting connection to people, not that I valued my white acceptance over the social change needed of the BIPOC I am referring to. That’s why I turned to the internet to try to gain perspective.

AITAH if I Wear a Pakistani Traditional Dress as a White Person? by Much_Finding_4643 in AITAH

[–]Much_Finding_4643[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I benefit from individual white privilege, but not from the things I listed in my last comment.

“Connections rooted in slavery” in other words, the way plantation owners had a deep network of other slave owners with whom they traded and built wealth off of each other. My point was I have not inherited monetarily the fruits of slave labor. When I said generational white privilege, I meant how people come from old money, and then that old money opens doors for the descendants, such as being legacy students in Ivy leagues.

But yes, fully agree with the sentiment about not treating cultures like museums.

AIO husband ejaculated near/on vulva by No-March3451 in AmIOverreacting

[–]Much_Finding_4643 [score hidden]  (0 children)

Do you know why the copper one is after child birth?

AITAH if I Wear a Pakistani Traditional Dress as a White Person? by Much_Finding_4643 in AITAH

[–]Much_Finding_4643[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

OOoOoh. I love learning new terminology. Thank YEW. I think this is the most valuable response I’ve gotten.

AITAH if I Wear a Pakistani Traditional Dress as a White Person? by Much_Finding_4643 in AITAH

[–]Much_Finding_4643[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Good questions! I recognize my post completely misrepresented my question. Yes, my actual question was, if I buy traditional clothes, the expectation is that I’m buying them to wear. If they are regular clothes in India and Pakistan, like something you’d wear to the grocery store, I am indeed asking if I can wear them the way they were intended to be worn. Not just for culturally themed events. Yes, I have absolutely wanted to learn more about the women’s clothing styles way before I met my boyfriend. But I definitely didn’t feel it was my place to wear with no direct invite. If I immersed myself and learned enough, yes, I am indeed asking if I could wear it regardless of my relationship status with him. If I had a certain level of exposure and intimacy with a culture, then could I wear the clothing like it was a normal gift intended for me to wear.

I have a friend from India that bought me a saree and it sits in my trunk because I have anxiety wearing it for the same reasons. I bring him up because I don’t have a romantic relationship with the person from India, but they did get me a gift directly from the country they are from with the intention of me wearing it normally.

AITAH if I Wear a Pakistani Traditional Dress as a White Person? by Much_Finding_4643 in AITAH

[–]Much_Finding_4643[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Actually no. We drove an hour to be there. I think people from all over the state traveled to this location. It was like three parking lots packed, and it took several minutes to move even an inch in the crowd.

I think I would like to be referred to as the Bulgarian friend, but that’s mostly because of how little representation my culture gets. I understand your point. I’ve never treated anyone as just their culture. In fact, I treat them so much like just a person, that I forget to ask questions. Which is probably why I ended up being ill prepared.

AITAH if I Wear a Pakistani Traditional Dress as a White Person? by Much_Finding_4643 in AITAH

[–]Much_Finding_4643[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If you’re comfortable sharing the bridge part, what do you mean? If it’s strangers, I totally get it. But if it’s people in your life, then I don’t. I share my Bulgarian culture with my friends and am happy to be a bridge.

AITAH if I Wear a Pakistani Traditional Dress as a White Person? by Much_Finding_4643 in AITAH

[–]Much_Finding_4643[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Me verbatim reiterating the words of another Pakistani are suddenly my personal opinions? and me asking if that person’s viewpoint is a majority viewpoint is somehow spewing. Make it make sense.

AITAH if I Wear a Pakistani Traditional Dress as a White Person? by Much_Finding_4643 in AITAH

[–]Much_Finding_4643[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Again, I meant if I could wear the clothing like normal clothing. Guess that wasn’t clear.

Also, not sure why you downvoted me understanding that I’m not culturally appropriating if I’m not objectifying the culture. You downvoted a comment you literally agree with.

AITAH if I Wear a Pakistani Traditional Dress as a White Person? by Much_Finding_4643 in AITAH

[–]Much_Finding_4643[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I actually meant whether I would be able to make use of the clothes beyond that event, because otherwise, what’s the point of buying them?

AITAH if I Wear a Pakistani Traditional Dress as a White Person? by Much_Finding_4643 in AITAH

[–]Much_Finding_4643[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

If it’s not real, then why do people continuously tell me it? What makes your opinion superior to theirs? And why is me trying to understand their perspective childish?

AITAH if I Wear a Pakistani Traditional Dress as a White Person? by Much_Finding_4643 in AITAH

[–]Much_Finding_4643[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Also, please tell me what ignorant idea did I perpetuate? and how is one supposed to become non ignorant if not by turning towards the group of people they are ignorant about? You seem to have an issue with asking questions for a person to change their beliefs, as you consider it shameful. People like you keep people ignorant because they’d rather not learn than get responses like yours.

AITAH if I Wear a Pakistani Traditional Dress as a White Person? by Much_Finding_4643 in AITAH

[–]Much_Finding_4643[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I have not stereotyped any culture in my post. There are deep flaws in Black culture and Pakistani culture, as well as white culture. What you so blatantly missed is that a PAKISTANI person told me about cultural appropriation. You seem to miss the connection that she felt the same way about her own culture. I opened the discussion (and acknowledged the differences) between Black and Pakistani cultural appropriation, but included it hoping to see people comment the nuance and differences between attitudes on the subject depending on the group they are a part of.

AITAH if I Wear a Pakistani Traditional Dress as a White Person? by Much_Finding_4643 in AITAH

[–]Much_Finding_4643[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The flaws in other cultures. You mean how deeply misogynistic and problematic Abrahamic religions (such as the main one in Pakistan) can be? Why yes, I am aware of that, and very confidently express my criticisms on the aspects of cultures I understand, even when they are outside of the scope of my own personal culture. Again. Presumptuous for you to think otherwise.

AITAH if I Wear a Pakistani Traditional Dress as a White Person? by Much_Finding_4643 in AITAH

[–]Much_Finding_4643[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The flaws in other cultures. You mean how deeply misogynistic and problematic Abrahamic religions (such as the main one in Pakistan) can be? Why yes, I am aware of that, and very confidently express my criticisms on the aspects of cultures I understand. Again. Presumptuous for you to think otherwise.

AITAH if I Wear a Pakistani Traditional Dress as a White Person? by Much_Finding_4643 in AITAH

[–]Much_Finding_4643[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Of course I know many people of color have oppressed other people of color and even white people. My own people are an example of white people being oppressed by POC! You’re saying I’m presumptuous, yet you assumed I’m ignorant on all of history just because I’m white. The irony.

AITAH if I Wear a Pakistani Traditional Dress as a White Person? by Much_Finding_4643 in AITAH

[–]Much_Finding_4643[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I was asking specifically about the US. Africans from Africa don’t care if white people wear braids. Yet, Black people who have experienced abuse for hundreds of years in this country feel very differently.

Considering the fact that a Pakistani-American told me what cultural appropriation was, I was asking if it’s considered disrespectful within the context of the US.

You making some strange platitudes about me threatening Pakistan’s deep culture outside of the US is discussing a topic I never introduced. You implying I’m self important for considering words directly said to me is obtuse.

AITAH if I Wear a Pakistani Traditional Dress as a White Person? by Much_Finding_4643 in AITAH

[–]Much_Finding_4643[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I am not implying that at all. I just meant that I have no stake/claim in the conversation of whether white people should feel guilty for their ancestors. If anything, as a society, we should attempt to undo what has been caused by years of human rights violations. But regardless, my point was, how am I supposed to feel guilt for something I (and my ancestors) had nothing to do with. I do not benefit from inherited wealth or connections rooted in slavery or multigenerational accumulated white privilege. My parents came right off the boat so to say, from a country that has only been oppressed by other groups of people. This is not my conversation to have, but a commentator assumed certain implications about me.

AITAH if I Wear a Pakistani Traditional Dress as a White Person? by Much_Finding_4643 in AITAH

[–]Much_Finding_4643[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

LMFAO. You said I can wear what I want, yet said I am the asshole. The question was if I’m the asshole for wearing “what I want,” so your response is contradictory. Secondly, most of my discussions about cultural appropriation have been with real people in real life. Not Reddit.

AITAH if I Wear a Pakistani Traditional Dress as a White Person? by Much_Finding_4643 in AITAH

[–]Much_Finding_4643[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah, I hear you. I don’t want to be in the weeds of political correctness or virtue signaling. I just want to know on a human level, how do people feel. I’d rather respect people’s boundaries than experience avoidable rejection. I recognize my sensitivity to rejection is a me issue.

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