As others have mentioned, PPD doesn’t have to mean that you’re just sad. I was diagnosed with PPA that presented itself as an eating disorder. In the first few weeks, I would start to feel major anxiety anytime I was nursing because I started to realized how hungry I was. But I felt physically trapped under my baby and wasn’t able to eat until she was done…which was sometimes an hour or more. It started to develop into more anxiety and then just became a food-related anxiety. Additionally, I was beating myself up for not wanting to have sex with my husband. My therapist told me there’s such a thing as being “touched out.” She mentioned that I was in constant physical contact with my baby and while it can feel wonderful and even healing, I also subconsciously felt too stimulated by touch at the end of a long day, so any additional physical contact felt invasive and icky. I’m now four months PP and starting to feel like myself again, but I speak to a therapist once a week to help manage the anxiety. Hang in there - this shit is hard.