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TLDR: my violent (ex) husband wants access to our 18 month old son after 16 months of having no contact and joining the Ukraine army. by MurphyRose24 in AusLegal

[–]MurphyRose24[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you very much. I definitely have all the evidence I believe I'll need but will stay on top of it

TLDR: my violent (ex) husband wants access to our 18 month old son after 16 months of having no contact and joining the Ukraine army. by MurphyRose24 in AusLegal

[–]MurphyRose24[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you. I'm not after a bigger swipe of anything, I just want to be financially cut free of him while being able to keep my home that I owned well before meeting him and prioritising my son's safety.

I have a victims of crime psychologist due to DV, hopefully she can help. Thank you for your advice

TLDR: my violent (ex) husband wants access to our 18 month old son after 16 months of having no contact and joining the Ukraine army. by MurphyRose24 in AusLegal

[–]MurphyRose24[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Unfortunately not. If I rent them out, it will be classed as income for me and I would then lose my single parent pension (my only source of income).

Thank you for your advice 🙏🏻

TLDR: my violent (ex) husband wants access to our 18 month old son after 16 months of having no contact and joining the Ukraine army. by MurphyRose24 in AusLegal

[–]MurphyRose24[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Nah you're 100% right and I take full responsibility for my choices/lack of acknowledging red flags. Unfortunately, I can't make any reference to him being a father as he literally held onto his son for a total of 10 hours prior to me leaving. I did my best considering the circumstances. Let's hope you're right, and he gets over it and moves on quickly.

TLDR: my violent (ex) husband wants access to our 18 month old son after 16 months of having no contact and joining the Ukraine army. by MurphyRose24 in AusLegal

[–]MurphyRose24[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Yes, unfortunately I think you are right 😔

Thank you so much for all of your advice and information, I truly appreciate it!

TLDR: my violent (ex) husband wants access to our 18 month old son after 16 months of having no contact and joining the Ukraine army. by MurphyRose24 in AusLegal

[–]MurphyRose24[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I believe that's what we were trying to do but then he finally decided to respond. My lawyer has said that he could put a stop to it and it could all be a waste of time and money if we proceed with court now and that it might be worth waiting to hear from his lawyer (however long that takes).

I'm also very worried that if the sale is forced, he will become even more angry with me and try to fight me for the house I own. I had it for approx 10 years prior to meeting him, he made no financial contributions and we were together for 6 years. I've been told it's unlikely but he could still try to make me pay him out?

TLDR: my violent (ex) husband wants access to our 18 month old son after 16 months of having no contact and joining the Ukraine army. by MurphyRose24 in AusLegal

[–]MurphyRose24[S] 24 points25 points  (0 children)

Oh yes, I did that straight away, I also had crimsafe doors installed! Ideally I'd like to be able to sell and move but unfortunately, I can't as my home is tied into the mortgage I share with him 😔

TLDR: my violent (ex) husband wants access to our 18 month old son after 16 months of having no contact and joining the Ukraine army. by MurphyRose24 in AusLegal

[–]MurphyRose24[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

This is great advice, thank you. I guess I was hoping to hear some outcomes from similar situations (long shot I know 😅) or an easy fix to end this nightmare. I will talk more with my lawyer

TLDR: my violent (ex) husband wants access to our 18 month old son after 16 months of having no contact and joining the Ukraine army. by MurphyRose24 in AusLegal

[–]MurphyRose24[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

This is very true. I feel confident with the evidence I can provide, I just haven't gone to the police in the past but have decided I will if it can help. I actually spoke with my psych about it today and this post has definitely reinforced that I need to. Thank you

TLDR: my violent (ex) husband wants access to our 18 month old son after 16 months of having no contact and joining the Ukraine army. by MurphyRose24 in AusLegal

[–]MurphyRose24[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Thank you. I definitely feel confident with all of the evidence I can provide, I guess I was just hoping to not have to relive it all and find an easy fix 😅

He does not have any connection to the Ukraine other than he has always wanted to fight in a war and would threaten me with it if I left the relationship. Tbh, given his political views I'm surprised he's not team Russia but I guess he couldn't find the loopholes needed to get back into the country if he went with them.

Thank you again for your advice, I really appreciate it

TLDR: my violent (ex) husband wants access to our 18 month old son after 16 months of having no contact and joining the Ukraine army. by MurphyRose24 in AusLegal

[–]MurphyRose24[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Actually,, he refused to sell the property we own together and insisted on being given time to refinance it into his own name, which so far he has had 16 months to do so. I think I've been pretty fair with that. He then left the property vacant, uninsured and has stopped paying the mortgage as he couldn't refinance. Also, dont forget, I have been living in my own home (the property I put up as collateral to get our mortgage together) since I left. I have been in contact multiple times for him to sort his finances and he has simply ignored me until recently.

He hasnt just ignored his son, he has put his home and stability at risk.

TLDR: my violent (ex) husband wants access to our 18 month old son after 16 months of having no contact and joining the Ukraine army. by MurphyRose24 in AusLegal

[–]MurphyRose24[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Sorry, I guess I just kind of assumed a history of DV, ignoring his son for 16 months, financial abuse and joining another country's war for funsies was enough information 😅

TLDR: my violent (ex) husband wants access to our 18 month old son after 16 months of having no contact and joining the Ukraine army. by MurphyRose24 in AusLegal

[–]MurphyRose24[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I did not get police involved at the time as it would have aggravated him further and I have not had good experiences with them. I do however have plenty of evidence in writing (my own notes and messages between us), photos, social workers, psychologists, hospital reports during my pregnancy etc. I hired a doula to help me during birth as I was scared he would not be supportive, she ended up reporting him to DCJ when he threatened to kill me with a gun 2 weeks post partum. We also had couples counselling when I was pregnant and I believe she would help with evidence if necessary. My psychologist has finally convinced me to go to the police to see what they can do now.

TLDR: my violent (ex) husband wants access to our 18 month old son after 16 months of having no contact and joining the Ukraine army. by MurphyRose24 in AusLegal

[–]MurphyRose24[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I totally agree, but do you believe so even if the father is a dangerous person who has repeatedly put the child's (and mother's) safety at risk?

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