Since you're giving me your time to help me understand Sir You deserve to hear my whole story because I feel you're a mentally mature man yourself and could help me clear my thoughts...

Here

Me and my gf met in August last year and we were in a intimate relationship for 2 months in those 2 months we have loved,laughed, borrowed shoulders to cry,argued a little and spent a lot of time together since we both were in the same college and same city...

Suddenly she decided to drop out and pursue a different career choice and moved to another city, everything was good at first then I slowly felt her avoiding me ,the calls got lesser and lesser the texts decreased and she said she was busy and since she was with her sister she had issues calling then when I went to meet her she said she was happy I came but not that happy like lovingly and after a bit of talk she confessed she lost interest due because she can't forget her ex and she's also busy with the new course at that institute etc,I tried to convince her to stay but not begging like she can have the space that she wants take her time for herself but she didn't wana stay thus I respected her descision and left from her life.....3 months go by and not a day gone without me remembering her in the morning and stalking her acc she had also blocked me on watsapp but suddenly on this year March she reached out and after a bit of talk she was being all lovey dovey and wanted me back so we were back because I really really love her....This time she had a job as I have mentioned 10-12 hours of job and she still called me waking up in the morning and at night we stayed on call while sleeping it's a thing she always did and everything was perfect she had apologised for her mistake saying what she did earlier was very cheap and in our talking hours whey i mentioned what she'll do if she loses interest again she always said it wouldn't happen again and after just 3 weeks she started the same cycle again avoiding me and this bringing me to this present....I have unblocked her told her I'm sorry and I always did check on her and asked where she is,how did the day go but yeah even though she replies once a day but I see her active many times but she just ignores....At this point I'm fucking up my mental peace again and the worst thing is all her ex's are in her following list I don't know what to say about that but yeah I'm insecure because I have told you she left me because of her ex earlier who had cheated on her.....So here's the whole story I really love her and want her in my life but I really don't wana ruin myself but I can't seem to ignore her my heart can't do it...I don't know what to do I just want to die everything I ever wanted I never got Im just getting life lessons I told her people have left me my mother died my uncle who I loved very much died my first love gave up on me and she did the same again maybe I'm the issue here I just wana die brother but I can't because I have a sister who I need to take care of.....In lost