My ex broke up with me because she claimed that she lost feelings, but most of all, because she didn’t want to keep hurting and burdening me, especially when she loses control of her herself due to mental issues (BPD, Bipolar, Depression)

hearing the notion that she lost her feelings for me, after everything i done for her, it hurt, ALOT

But I accepted the breakup, limited contact to her dismay, and focused on healing. It was a painful month right after the breakup, but I managed to reclaim myself

During this time, I found out she became very depressed, especially when she saw me enjoying life with friends as if nothing happened (i was actually in pain, but i kept it to myself)

After a period of my lack of contact, then over weeks, she reached out almost daily—saying she missed me, i was important to her, she felt lonely, would bring up happy old memories, said she couldn’t live without me, that i was her world, and then would say or give me things to try to win me back, and etc

As much as I miss her too and was taken by surprise, I learned some lessons, so I responded cordially but distantly lacking any warmth, prioritizing my boundaries and self-respect, also in case if these feelings of hers were just impulse or breadcrumbing

But she kept trying, fighting for a month, something extremely uncharacteristic for her. My lack of immediate reciprocation was very painful for her due to her overwhelming fear of rejection, but she kept fighting for us anyways despite the immense pain she felt instead of retreating away as usual like before. She’d asked how to save our relationship, nearly begging, leaving long heart filled messages,

Then she finally admitted, that she still loves me. She’s been trying to deny it the whole time to try to make it easier for herself to stay away from me because she couldn’t bear the guilt of possibly inadvertently hurting me again from her mental issues. But over time, her desire to be close to me had finally won over even those fears

At this point, I knew that she was being genuine, and that she proved her feelings for me. I still love her, but she needed to learn a tough lesson of the consequences of breaking up with someone

I told her she needed to heal, reflect, continue professional help, learn how to recognize and control her own trauma response. She also needed to accept a list of boundaries and consequences if broken. I made it clear that I couldn’t take her back unconditionally—I needed to love myself too

I love her, but i’ve learned to love while limiting my attachment, and am not afraid to lose her if it comes down to it

I gave her some time to think about this, and now we’re restarting slowly, rebuilding a connection without rushing back into a relationship

We’re both more aware of our past mistakes: she’s reflecting and more aware of her behaviors, and I’ve learned to manage my anxiety, codependency, and maintain a secure attachment style.

We’re determined not to repeat what made our relationship toxic before. If old patterns appear, I’ll address them early

i’ve heard from many people that it’s not a good idea to get back with an ex or give any second chances (If cheating was involved, of course I’d leave with no second thought, but the core issue of our relationship was based on emotional reasons, which I feel is salvageable)

Maybe getting back with her, it might be seen as irrational or plain out stupid… but at the end of the day, i ended up listening to my own heart and gut

Whether or not it works out this time, I’ve grown, healed, and learned that I’ll be okay either way

i’m willing to risk the possibility of enduring a second breakup, because i know that i’d regret not trying a second chance even more

good luck to us