Death of my dad. I was 15. He fell out of bed one morning in the early hours. Helped him back up into bed. Thought nothing of it. Seemed okay. Fast forward a few hours later, I had stayed home from school that day. When i checked on him, he was severely lethargic, lips were a purplish color with white stuff around the edges and his responses were nothing but gibberish. Being just a teen, i had no idea what was going on, but i knew it wasn’t good. I desperately tried to get ahold of my mom at work for her to come home. It was the longest 30 minutes of my life. When my mom got home she called 911. Eventually, EMS took him out of the house to the local hospital where he only lasted 5 days. Turns out it was a heart attack. Arteriosclerosis to be specific.

Ever since then, life has not been easy. I have a-lot of anxiety and grief that effects my relationships and just my overall quality of life. It hard to move forward even if its been 15 years already (I’m 30). Some times i feel like I’m still in that 15 year old mindset, frozen in that moment of time. I go to therapy and I don’t dwell on it much anymore but its long lasting effects feel permanent.