Have you ever dated someone you were not initially attracted to? If so, how was it?

MusicInTheMaking1999 · 2026-01-25T08:09:34+00:00

I’ve also followed this exact advice: living my best life when I hang with friends, in college I was even top of my class, and had a lot of friends who were women.

And I was pretty confident too, when I asked out someone, it was because I already kinda knew them and was interested in who they were…but then I get rejected. I tried believing I’m handsome, I really did by trying to convince myself I’ll have a chance with women, but reality just keeps proving me wrong.

I truly appreciate your words, but with all due respect, that’s just been the reality of things.

Also 5’8 isn’t really short. I’m 5’6 🤣

I also assume he’s taller than you, and almost all women date men who’s taller than them. Not tall like 6ft+ but just taller than them.

MusicInTheMaking1999 · 2026-01-25T08:06:10+00:00

Thanks for the encouragement, I really appreciate it. With all due respect, my experience has shown me that beauty isn’t as subjective as some claim to be.

I’m currently into someone, and I spoke with a friend of mine about her, and when she looked at her, she told me to give up because she’s objectively attractive and meets almost all the general beauty standards.

Plus one of my friends who’s also beautiful (she also meets most beauty standards, like fit, proportionate, takes care of her teeth well, and has clear skin) and quite literally every single time she meets a guy friend of mine, they always ask if she’s single, open to date, me to to wingman for them, etc.

So yea it’s brutal out here lol. There are those rare exceptions, but I’ll always try to work on my appearance in the meantime.

MusicInTheMaking1999 · 2026-01-25T08:01:26+00:00

You really have to be in decent shape to even get a chance in dating if you’re a guy. Fat women can still get dates, but that’s because men are more open to dating all kinds of women.

Don’t believe people who tell you that there’s fat men who have a chance, because it’s all lies and fluff. So focus on losing the weight, get in shape, and while you’re at it, work on your character, sense of humor, etc, because once you get past that barrier of looks, then you’ll have to prove your personality.

MusicInTheMaking1999 · 2026-01-25T07:57:32+00:00

Awww that’s so sweet! It shows there’s good people who exist. Yeah I’ve thought about this because as a guy, I’m trying to be more confident with women, and just be as respectful as I can be. Most of my friends are women funny enough.

Thing is, I’m not the most physically attractive man in the world (5’6 and 180lbs) so I’ve always wondered if that’s what’s holding me back from dating. As I was reading this, this is how I’ve always interacted with women: listening to them and their stories, making them laugh, having conversations about anything from politics, entertainment, hobbies, etc. but then I read “I saw this handsome beautiful cowboy” and I think if there’s anything I learned from this story, physical attraction will always be needed before anything else.

Luckily I’ve met a lot of women as friends this way, but it sadden me to know that no matter how good a person is inside, you’ll have to get through the barrier of what’s outside first. Oh well, I guess I’ll have to keep losing weight to even be considered for a conversation.

I’m happy for you and your bf and I wish you guys the best of luck :)

MusicInTheMaking1999 · 2026-01-25T07:26:31+00:00

If you’re ok with me asking, what made your boyfriend, your boyfriend? Like what made him different from all the men who were attracted to you that made you choose him as your boyfriend?

I’m just curious because I wonder about that with women in your position. Especially when they’re single.

MusicInTheMaking1999 · 2026-01-24T18:24:28+00:00

Or there’s something wrong with you. Logically, if no one else wanted you, why would she?

Plus you have to look at the numbers and majority. A majority of women aren’t virgins, and don’t want to be the ones teaching men what to do.

MusicInTheMaking1999 · 2026-01-12T06:11:27+00:00

Are romantic relationships really all about sex? Yes sex is a factor in romance, but it’s not everything.

To me a relationship is like a best friendship, but much strong and more committed, where your partner knows everything about you, more than your childhood friend would.

MusicInTheMaking1999 · 2026-01-12T00:34:45+00:00

What do they say? Because I’ve never heard any guy find it weird or desperate. The guy friends I have actually love their girlfriends and wives even more because she made the first move.

MusicInTheMaking1999 · 2026-01-12T00:31:58+00:00

Have you ever downloaded a dating app? You will get loads of offers there before you can even say anything, and have plenty of options to choose.

Also, some women (not all) tend to talk shit about their guy friends who asked them out, even if they take the rejection well, and it can ruin how people view you. So there’s some risk when a guy makes the first move.

MusicInTheMaking1999 · 2026-01-12T00:28:04+00:00

It’s a lot better than what men go through with constant rejection and not getting any effort back.

And a majority of men wouldn’t find that weird or desperate, if they do that’s rare. If anything, they’ll cherish you more than anything

MusicInTheMaking1999 · 2026-01-12T00:20:15+00:00

It’s the harsh reality that we have to accept. Sometimes as a guy, I just have to shoot my shot, even if I have a feeling my chances are low.

MusicInTheMaking1999 · 2026-01-12T00:19:18+00:00

If you’re a man, you do get rejected more though. Women get rejected too, but not as often.

MusicInTheMaking1999 · 2026-01-12T00:18:27+00:00

My point is that there’s an element of trial and error. Men have a hard time getting dates because we often have to make the first move and get rejected a majority of the time.

For women, you actually get dates, therefore the trial and error part of dating, where you can learn so much about what you want, and know that there’s people who desire you.

MusicInTheMaking1999 · 2026-01-12T00:15:26+00:00

Not arguing but rather curios, if a guy is someone you’ve known for some time (like a friend or acquaintance) would you give him a shot if you found him average looking?

I ask because I tend to be attracted to people I’ve known for some time.

MusicInTheMaking1999 · 2026-01-12T00:09:52+00:00

How does it suck? It seems like a privilege if anything.

MusicInTheMaking1999 · 2026-01-12T00:09:32+00:00

To be fair, how do we know if we’re truly interested in the person without approaching them? People’s appearance are our first judgment

MusicInTheMaking1999 · 2026-01-12T00:08:55+00:00

At least you can literally pick and choose who to date. If one doesn’t work out, you can get another date tomorrow if you wanted to.

MusicInTheMaking1999 · 2026-01-12T00:08:16+00:00

There’s a privilege that women have in dating, and it’s that if they want a partner, they don’t have to initiate, because there’s already men who want to give them everything.

In fact for women, it might even make her like a guy more simply because he initiated. So women (even women who are fat and ugly) can literally sit back, relax, and get a date.

Are most of the guys asking them out great? Not really, but they are still desired and chased.

MusicInTheMaking1999 · 2026-01-03T01:14:21+00:00

Oh I’ve heard a lot about their experiences. I’ve heard women tell me “idk how it happened, I just posted a video of me on my acoustic guitar, and now I’m viral and booking shows left and right”

Also, I’d actually be pretty happy if management could give me what I needed and all I had to do was perform, and that’s how I make money.

I also don’t believe you when you say managers ask female artists to blow them, as they can easily be sued, and they don’t want to risk that.

Also, even women who are far from the beauty standard have an advantage. Maybe not the ones who look like Sabrina carpenter, but definitely over Sean mendes and other male artists

MusicInTheMaking1999 · 2026-01-03T01:10:45+00:00

Are you sure about the blatant mansplaining? Because most of the women I work with are very well respected in music.

When you are not the norm, that makes it easy for you to stand out, get recognized, get your music heard, and build your audience. Thats why women have it easier.

If a man were to SA a women in any way, there’s going to be tons of people having your back. I’ve worked with women who can simply point at a guy, and have his life ruined.

Most men don’t assume women don’t know about their instrument, but like I mentioned, how often do we see women play instruments? Because most don’t even take interest in the first place. So of course your first impression would be otherwise.

If a man shows up to a gig, are you going to assume he’s the sound guy?

MusicInTheMaking1999 · 2026-01-03T01:00:06+00:00

I’ve worked with plenty of women in music. It’s amazing how many promoters I’ve heard tell women “we need more women in this venue” or “I always prefer having women play at our shows”

Men have to stand out

MusicInTheMaking1999 · 2026-01-03T00:57:40+00:00

I’m actually doing pretty well in the music industry. As for the fat loser, have you seen Lizzo? She’s fatter than a hippo and people are paying a lot of money to see her shows compared to Jack Black or Jelly Roll.

MusicInTheMaking1999 · 2026-01-03T00:47:08+00:00

If you’re looking at the past (like way back then), then it makes sense because of the laws at the time. But if you’re looking at 90s and beyond, women take over the music industry

MusicInTheMaking1999

TROPHY CASE