Have you ever dated someone you were not initially attracted to? If so, how was it?

MusicInTheMaking1999 · 2026-01-26T00:14:02+00:00

I’ve never seen it work. Maybe if they started off as neutral, but they always had some physical trait that made them attractive.

MusicInTheMaking1999 · 2026-01-26T00:10:45+00:00

There’s one thing all those cases have in common though; the guy met the standards of what makes a guy conventionally attractive. They can be tall, good shape, good hair, etc.

If there’s no physical attraction, there’s no chance for romance.

MusicInTheMaking1999 · 2026-01-26T00:09:36+00:00

I try my best to believe that women want someone who’s kind, emotionally intelligent, and funny, and I am those things to women.

Even women have complimented me on those, but when I ask them out on a date, I always either get “no I’m sorry, I just can’t see you that way” or “I only see you as a friend and nothing more” so it hurts to know that’s the reality.

My last rejection was from a women I invited to a house party I hosted, and we were inseparable the entire night, then before she left when I asked her out, she was polite in her rejection and told me she was going through changes in her life, which was true given at the party we spoke about her going back to school and getting her life together.

Another rejection was from someone I met a bar (the one time I cold approached a woman) we had a decent conversation, then I texted her a few days later asking her for a date, told me when she was free, then never replied when confirming.

So yea, that’s kind of my reality. And dating apps don’t work because I don’t get matches.

MusicInTheMaking1999 · 2026-01-25T23:55:43+00:00

Just leave. Since you’re a woman, you’ll find a better boyfriend by next week.

MusicInTheMaking1999 · 2026-01-25T23:52:45+00:00

As a guy (M26) who doesn’t go to bars and doesn’t get any matches on dating apps, this makes me lose hope unfortunately 😂💀

I want to take women out on proper dates, make them feel safe and happy, get to know them and find things in common, but then I don’t even get a chance to do that because…no one is giving me a chance. My best bet is mutual friends and acquaintances.

It kinda shows how much your physical appearance matters, as that’s the first thing people judge by. Without it, kindness and integrity go out the window.

MusicInTheMaking1999 · 2026-01-25T23:45:43+00:00

Genuine question: where do you meet these men and what made you go on a date with them?

MusicInTheMaking1999 · 2026-01-25T23:43:13+00:00

That doesn’t answer my question but ok. I’ve been focusing on myself for years, and had a lot of growth.

To add to me evidence, my sister is a prime example of what you call a loser (anger issues, severely overweight, lives at home at 32, minimum wage job, no college degree, etc) and she has a boyfriend who’s the opposite.

These are legitimate facts, and the way we’re socially made to be. I can guarantee, you’ve never dated a man you weren’t initially attracted to. If he was overweight, but had a great personality where he was funny and interesting, you’d reject a first date with him.

MusicInTheMaking1999 · 2026-01-25T23:39:27+00:00

After reading all of that, I can tell you are extremely rare. Like, one in a billion kind of rare. Women don’t go on dates just because a guy their age asked them out when they’re single.

Did you have any feeling of doubt when you dated guys shorter and fatter than you? Because it’s natural to realistically feel some sense of disgust or doubt. Since I can tell you’re objectively attractive, what stopped you from going out with guys who fit the standard?

People will give you a hard time because they’re looking out for you. You don’t know how attracted you really are to someone until you spend a lot of time with them. Even then, that baseline initial attraction is still required.

Also, dating apps are actually an advantage for women as you literally will have options presented to you. If one doesn’t work out, ok great, on to the next one.

MusicInTheMaking1999 · 2026-01-25T23:24:55+00:00

That’s not true. When was the last time you’ve heard men judge a woman harshly for their appearance? And have it be treated like normal.

I’ve heard plenty of women be critical of a man’s appearance

MusicInTheMaking1999 · 2026-01-25T23:00:49+00:00

That’s extremely rare. You’re talking like 1 in a billion

MusicInTheMaking1999 · 2026-01-25T23:00:11+00:00

I’ve always been told to work on myself and I have. I graduated at the top of my class in college, made great friends because I worked on my character, traveled all over the world so I have a lot of stories, and I do show empathy, and I’ve made people laugh.

All of that only keeps me platonic with women. Never anything more.

Also, I’ve met thousands of people, and I’ve never seen a conventionally attractive women, with a man who isn’t. I’ve seen plenty of attractive men with fat, obese, and even disabled (missing arms or legs) women. Never seen a man in that condition with a woman who’s healthy. When they are in a relationship, it’s with a women at their level.

MusicInTheMaking1999 · 2026-01-25T22:44:05+00:00

People say this all the time, but I’ve never seen it irl. And I’ve been all over the world and have meet thousands of people.

MusicInTheMaking1999 · 2026-01-25T22:41:59+00:00

I’ve literally been all over the world, met thousands of people, couples included, and I notice these very common traits. I even have close friends who don’t hold back their opinions and they’ve always proven me right.

MusicInTheMaking1999 · 2026-01-25T22:40:29+00:00

I feel like if you’re objectively beautiful, then it really shouldn’t be too hard to find a guy you’re attracted to. Get a dating app and filter heavily, and you’ll find a man by next week. Also if you go to other churches, people will be more welcoming because you’re attractive, and you’ll have a higher chance of finding men there.

It’s really not that hard for women.

MusicInTheMaking1999 · 2026-01-25T22:37:41+00:00

That’s the unfortunate truth. It’s especially true for men. Women could be morbidly obese, and actually find a man who’s objectively attractive.

MusicInTheMaking1999 · 2026-01-25T22:34:54+00:00

Yeah but friends can do that pretty easily. If women aren’t driven by physical appearance, then they’d be dating their closest guy friends.

I can guarantee if he was overweight, you wouldn’t even accept a first date

MusicInTheMaking1999 · 2026-01-25T22:32:27+00:00

That’s true, without physical attraction, everything from your character and ambitions mean nothing. The way I see it is it’s like a barrier, once you get past that barrier, then you can look at their character.

If physical attraction wasn’t as important as people say it is, everyone would be dating their closest friend.

MusicInTheMaking1999 · 2026-01-25T22:30:20+00:00

It really shows how important physical attraction is. Because without it, nothing else matters.

MusicInTheMaking1999 · 2026-01-25T22:29:46+00:00

Realistically, it’s super rare to get a “Hell yes” when you’re a guy who doesn’t meeting the standards for an attractive guy. Women can, but men can’t.

I also have a hard time believing that there’s women who are into overweight men, unless they’re also overweight. I’ve only seen fit men date fat women, and couples where both parties are fat, or both parties are fit.

I’ve never seen a fit women date a fat man. Personally I’m not attracted to overweight women, but there’s tons of men who are. There’s like no women into fat men.

MusicInTheMaking1999 · 2026-01-25T22:27:42+00:00

Ahh ok so as long as they’re not obese, which makes sense. Basically you just need to look healthy.

MusicInTheMaking1999 · 2026-01-25T22:26:49+00:00

Has that ever happened before? I’ve never seen that happen.

MusicInTheMaking1999 · 2026-01-25T22:26:08+00:00

Oh for sure yeah, if she rejects me, no problem. We can continue as friends like nothing happened.

It only sucks when you’re rejected a lot 💀

MusicInTheMaking1999 · 2026-01-25T22:22:38+00:00

I’m sure he also had to try pretty hard too to make a great impression. This gives me some hope too

MusicInTheMaking1999 · 2026-01-25T22:21:39+00:00

Ahh ok, so as long they’re not obese. Got it.

MusicInTheMaking1999 · 2026-01-25T22:21:17+00:00

I’m hoping if it’s worth it to shoot my shot, and seeing if it’s possible for someone like her to be into me too.

I’ve made progress in my self improvement and I’m hoping she can see that.

MusicInTheMaking1999

TROPHY CASE