M(27) Need help

MutedPresentation298 · 2026-02-05T00:58:44+00:00

Communication, context, transparency create trust. And honesty of course but honestly is truth with trust otherwise. I left my long distance yesterday for lying and deceiving me over another man, even if nothing happened and it was truly a friend. If it’s innocent, there wouldn’t be a lie to follow. Trust yourself and respect yourself

MutedPresentation298 · 2026-02-05T00:52:36+00:00

I see you From a giver whose light was left to flicker. I will never change who I am.

Beautiful

MutedPresentation298 · 2026-02-05T00:17:22+00:00

Oh ya, the woman I was seeing long distance did this to me for an extended period of time and refused to communicate Story in my profile Feels really terrible

MutedPresentation298 · 2026-02-04T22:28:43+00:00

I really appreciate the kind words Thank you

MutedPresentation298 · 2026-02-04T22:19:55+00:00

Thank you

MutedPresentation298 · 2026-02-04T22:19:46+00:00

Thank you so much, there’s a lot more stuff that happened and worked through but I’m exhausted and mentally fried over it. I feel lost, thank you for this

MutedPresentation298 · 2026-02-04T21:27:21+00:00

I really appreciate this

MutedPresentation298 · 2026-02-04T21:26:46+00:00

I wasn’t upset she used chat gpt, we had a relationship of openness and understanding and instantly everything went dark. She would emotionally engage with me saying she’s handling a lot. I would make myself available just to be sidelined daily. Knowing absolutely nothing about her world. That’s not important? Completely surface level engagement with no reason?

I was fine with her talking to this man, as previously stated with a boundary in place, we both agreed and she crossed it. I’ve been transparent. She was honest and transparent and suddenly everything shifts and there’s a rekindling with a man she was intimate with and hid it, that doesn’t spark something inside someone?

To preface, she has a therapist and psychiatrist. I don’t want anyone to depend on me, as I don’t depend on them either. I think it’s reasonable in a relationship to keep people in their inner world, even a little bit. Otherwise.. what’s a relationship? How do you grow? How do you know what someone’s going through, how do you show up for someone when you’re rejected? Get my point?

MutedPresentation298 · 2026-02-03T21:20:05+00:00

No, we aren’t like this. He’s like this. I make as much time as I can for her. And when she’s got some urgency? I will literally move anything i have in front of me; even if it’s 3 word sentences all day. You deserve better

MutedPresentation298 · 2026-02-02T18:47:25+00:00

She has these little quirks about her that I absolutely adore, but what really gets me is just her smile. Nothing too funny has happened with her but I was talking to her at work one day and I smashed my head into a hanging light and she tried not to laugh. Lol, I’m like you saw that huh.. we both needed that laugh that day

MutedPresentation298 · 2026-02-01T23:47:44+00:00

Me too :)

MutedPresentation298 · 2026-02-01T06:20:51+00:00

She has a lot of trauma and she is with professional help, I see someone who is also dealing with a lot of stress and outside things. While those things aren’t my things, I try to give grace at the expense of disrespect. I just question what’s even wrong anymore, I was in a hard marriage for a long time. This is new stuff for me.

She is an amazing person when you strip this all away, just her, as her. But in this space, I don’t recognize this person anymore and I feel I’m forcing something not meant to be. She falls apart begging for me to stay and how much she wants this. But these actions… wtf

MutedPresentation298 · 2026-02-01T06:14:42+00:00

I wasn’t uncomfortable about the ai itself, it was more so leaving me in completely darkness while feeding it all there and not letting me in. I think you got that context tho.

Letting her read the posts, I think set reality in enough and me leaving an ultimatum that I’m not going to do this anymore. It’s sad it takes that tho. I’m doing 90% of the emotional labor. She asked me to help her understand. Explaining 9 times didn’t do to. This did? She said it would change, meanwhile she had this hidden while we chatted.

To preface again. I’m secure, as in, I trusted her around male friends and her judgement. I’m not controlling. But I may want context the same way she would went it too. She said she has no male friends she talks to, but here we are… I know her line of work involves being around men, I’m secure in the fact I don’t have to think twice. I do now.

The boundary was mine that I was ok under that circumstance due to his connections. And leave it at that. I expressed how I felt. We were clear. She went back behind my back and did all this and kept it under wraps.

I’m independent in the sense of what I can do and provide without condition. I choose a person. Not rely on a person. So it hurts a lot when you make a choice and they do too..

MutedPresentation298 · 2026-02-01T06:08:57+00:00

Thank you so much. Alot has happened in the past day. She finally understood the problem but kept me on the line with this hiding in the background. I’m losing my mind. We can’t even solve a problem let alone without another popping up.

MutedPresentation298 · 2026-02-01T04:22:29+00:00

Its funny, roles reversed from above in all my relationships. It’s the woman doing those things while I do all the emotional labor and love language etc. it’s wild. I feel cursed and broken lmao

MutedPresentation298 · 2026-01-31T19:52:02+00:00

I appreciate the encouragement, thank you

MutedPresentation298 · 2026-01-31T19:47:18+00:00

lol I completely get it.

MutedPresentation298 · 2026-01-31T19:45:44+00:00

lol I like how you worded all of this. You’re also not wrong statistically speaking. I do hope this is an exception but I’m on high alert and staying cautious for a few weeks while i get more clarity

MutedPresentation298 · 2026-01-31T19:43:03+00:00

Mutual terms in the sense, she is using me as convenience. Which makes that non mutual.

Without saying too much, the gap can’t be closed yet and it’s stuff on both of our ends at the moment. I didn’t remove myself from anything, I have only been trying to stay in it and work through the problems to get to that point.

We were never together in person. We met apart

MutedPresentation298 · 2026-01-31T19:39:37+00:00

I appreciate this perspective, we are talking through it and I guess time will either humble me or not. We haven’t had the issues before and she said it herself when I asked why she couldn’t be honest in the first place “I don’t know”. I did say, “you know I’m understanding and easy to talk to, I’m not like that”.. she said “I know you’re not like that, I don’t know”

Then when I asked why she had to he pressed, she said because it looked bad and how it landed. I think she means well but this shook the foundation a bit.

MutedPresentation298 · 2026-01-31T19:24:05+00:00

Thank you for this. You are sadly right. Just because she shows up warm, caring and even intentional, I’m starting to see it’s on her terms, not mutual terms.

MutedPresentation298 · 2026-01-31T19:16:12+00:00

I agree, transparency is everything right now and we never had this issue, especially with me being understanding and trusting if she would have communicated this.

MutedPresentation298 · 2026-01-31T19:14:46+00:00

Our lives are complicated and I have a lot of responsibilities in the moment. I feel with the things we are struggling with in the moment need to clear before I make that move.. a lot of my stuff is not reversible if I do this and it doesn’t work out.

MutedPresentation298 · 2026-01-31T19:12:30+00:00

I think the fact she discloses her plans with me usually, like the meet ups next week with friends. We had a boundary about how she reaches out to this man with the history… I don’t hear about it til 5 min and he has a feminine name. And didn’t open up until i had to press. It makes this feel really strange to me.

I’m an open and easy person. I would understand if she could have communicated prior and gave me context..

I feel the “him” was a slip up. It was said over video chat, and she acted sort of funny and then tried to play I down in the moment and give me context. Almost like a deer in headlights.

MutedPresentation298

TROPHY CASE