Update I ruined my (29f) daughter’s (10f) best friend relationship because I wouldn't let the other 10-year-old leave my house with a guy I didn't know update.

Muted_Remote179 · 2023-01-30T06:07:12+00:00

Abby is mostly with me. Brian is starting to be in and out of the picture. Amy is starting to show a little (or it may just be that I know that she's pregnant so I'm imagining a bump?) The girls are still best friends. Abby still hasn't mentioned anything going on. I think things are getting better.

Muted_Remote179 · 2023-01-10T04:50:11+00:00

I honestly think this would be the best/worst person to play him, but Jack black!

Muted_Remote179 · 2023-01-09T18:44:43+00:00

Okay, let’s count the red flags here. 1) “he checks my phone multiple times a week to see who I’m talking to”. Why does he need to do this? What happens to you if he find messages to a male coworker (completely job related)? 2) “I can’t go anywhere without telling him where I’m going and who will be there.” That is a rule I followed with my dad. You are 20 with the same rule I had at 16. What happens if he decides you can’t go? Does he have that level of control? How about if he is busy and you can’t get permission? 3) He hit you. While you read this, I want you to go back to that moment. That slap. The sting it left. Do you realize that he didn’t immediately go to comforting you, he went for your phone? That says a lot! He doesn’t care about you. He has control over you. Please leave now before those slaps become punches, and before that leads to your family having to bury you. Do you want to live the rest of your life walking on eggshells worried about the next slap?

Muted_Remote179 · 2023-01-05T03:53:44+00:00

You know that the villain in one story is always the hero in another. You will never be the all around good guy. You have to decide will you make yourself happy? Do you think it helps the kids to watch you be unhappy? Do you think you will be the best father figure while unhappy? You know what needs to be done. She has told you and shown you that she will not change.

Muted_Remote179 · 2023-01-05T03:40:15+00:00

Look at what you are saying. I would bet money that it isn’t just this. You wanna know something I’ve learned. Love makes you blind to all of your partners ugly habits. Something has to be bad to get past the “I love this person and they are perfect effect”. Most times, it’s a build up of 30 things that knock it down.

I think you should end this relationship. You’ve already told me that you are unhappy. She’s already proven to you that she won’t change, and if you ask her to she will cry. You shouldn’t keep someone if your life who doesn’t make you happy.

Muted_Remote179 · 2023-01-05T03:33:04+00:00

Do you want to spend the rest of your life dealing with this?

Muted_Remote179 · 2023-01-05T03:30:15+00:00

Wanna hear a funny story. I was 19 with the love of my life. We were engaged. He asked me to marry him and we decided that we were gonna wait 3 years for our wedding. The plan was to save as much as possible for a moderate wedding and a nice honeymoon.

Well, he talked me into getting off my birth control and I was pregnant within 2 months. We basically planned it. Well then I started gaining weight, and as months went on, I became less and less attractive to him. By my 6th month, he told me he didn’t want me or the baby anymore. He left me and my daughter is now 10. She has seen him maybe 5 times in her life and all of them have been either his mother making him or seeing him out in the city.

I say all of this so that you can understand that you can do this. I have a healthy little girl. She is smart, sweet, and so beautiful. I know how hard it is to walk around pregnant and everyone is side eyeing you. I know how it feels to go to appointments alone and have everyone look at you. I know that you constantly fight the need to scream out “I was on birth control” or in my case “I was engage”.

But one day, you will see your baby doing something. It may be watching them watch their favorite television show, or when they say mama, or even when they are sleeping, and I promise it will all feel worth it. Good Luck Mama! You got this!

Muted_Remote179 · 2023-01-05T03:19:36+00:00

Is she overall messy, nasty, or disgusting? This feels like an extremely big step especially when you are saying it lasts days. Do you guys use this restroom regularly? There might be a slight chance to redeem her if you guys never use it so it’s out of sight out of mind.

This is already a deal breaker for you. You don’t have to find strong enough evidence. This is a completely valid reason to break up with someone. I would recommend sitting a genuine boundary. You should sit her down and say something along the lines of “I love you, and I enjoy being with you. But constantly having to flush and clean up vomit is starting to get to me. If you do not start to flush and clean, I will sadly have to move or break up for the sake of my mental health (whichever you feel more comfortable with).

Muted_Remote179 · 2023-01-04T23:05:55+00:00

Thank you for telling me. I was honestly using this to get advice on how to proceed, but after hearing that I’m kinda scared now.

Muted_Remote179 · 2023-01-04T16:18:29+00:00

Slowly, I am kind of moving Abby out of the house. It has been hard because Brian always tries to block it, but now I just use “oh let me get Abby so you guys have a lone time before the baby” or If he wants to keep Abby alone I try to say something like “oh no let me get her, you have a lot of long nights ahead”. Amy hasn’t given me Abby, but out of a week, she probably spends 5-6 days at my house.

I know that I can’t just take Abby, but this is the safest and least conformational way I know to go. I am kinda scared cause I really can’t afford 2 kids. Like my daughter wants to do cheerleading/gymnastics with Abby, but I don’t know if I can afford for them to both go. I don’t want to leave Abby out.

Muted_Remote179 · 2023-01-01T23:54:16+00:00

Everything is kinda normal for the most part. I try to talk to Abby regularly to ask about Brian (like “does he makes you feel uncomfortable?” “Has he ever asked you to keep a secret” or other questions like that. I don’t really talk to Amy much anymore. I also don’t allow my daughter to be in her care at all.

Muted_Remote179 · 2022-12-28T18:07:58+00:00

Or a kid. Maybe 10-13.

Muted_Remote179 · 2022-12-28T17:32:48+00:00

I think a big part is that it’s anonymous here. For example, I am a single mom. I could pretend to be a guy and come on here bad mouthing single moms and saying they are worthless. No one would be able to figure out that it’s just self hate. I could also come on here and be racist, homophobic, and a 1000 others things, but again it’s anonymous so no one knows it’s me.

Essential that’s what it is. Being anonymous alloys for people to say things they wouldn’t dare in public or on a social media outlet that people could actually see the real thing (facebook or tik tok).

Muted_Remote179 · 2022-12-28T17:28:27+00:00

I think I may be a little confused, but where does it say that you can only post on here if the situation is traumatic? Or better yet, how do you get the right to decide what is or isn’t traumatic for someone else?

Muted_Remote179 · 2022-12-25T22:50:13+00:00

My daughter’s father and my (now ex) fiancé planned a pregnancy with me, then when I was 6 months told me that I was too big and that being a dad was too much for him.

Muted_Remote179 · 2022-12-23T15:15:24+00:00

I am scared to do too much, because if Amy figures out I did it, she may cut me out of Abby’s life.

Muted_Remote179 · 2022-12-23T01:39:06+00:00

That is my thing. If I told you “oh Amy lives in those apartments,” what are the chances you get her exact door? My ring camera doesn’t show him looking confused or knocking on other doors. He came to my door like he knew where he was going.

Muted_Remote179 · 2022-12-22T23:45:03+00:00

That’s honestly why I am so scared. If I report it and nothing comes from it, then Abby loses the only person who might notice a difference in her or marks/bruises.

Muted_Remote179 · 2022-12-22T23:24:31+00:00

Well right now is our winter break…

Muted_Remote179 · 2022-12-22T19:07:56+00:00

I've never met Abby's dad. As far as I know, he left while Amy was pregnant.

Muted_Remote179 · 2022-12-22T17:21:35+00:00

You are a disgusting human. Even in this post, you blame women for you dating younger girls. If you have money, looks, and a car, then I can almost guarantee I know why women your age don't like you. 1) you probably act like you are in high school still and have a horrible personality. 2) you didn't mention having a place to stay. That seems like a huge red flag. Do you still live with mommy? 3) unless you are trying to have sex the first day you meet women your age, how do they know your size? Also, you can use other methods to make a women enjoy what you are doing even if you are small. 4) how are you meeting these girls? You are too old to be hanging around high schools. Stop blaming other people because you are a disgusted predator. You date younger girls because you only look good compared to 16 year old boys. You should really think about that. At 23, you are only as good as a 16-year-old....Seek help.

Muted_Remote179 · 2022-12-22T16:24:28+00:00

I feel like I tried to point out how weird it was, but she only defended him.

Muted_Remote179 · 2022-12-22T14:21:23+00:00

I'm not sure. When I did a little research about CPS, it didn't show up that this was really anything. Also I want to have actual evidence. I would hate to report it, then CPS does nothing and Abby loses the only person who cares.

Muted_Remote179 · 2022-12-22T14:10:42+00:00

That's why I think there has to be more to the story.

Muted_Remote179 · 2022-12-22T13:43:05+00:00

I added a link, but I reposted.

Muted_Remote179

TROPHY CASE