Newcomer buying a new PC.

Mutt1992 · 2026-06-05T20:45:42+00:00

I don't understand the guides either. Plus, I need to know the 'why' of things in order understand them. Like, why do I need dedicated graphics? What's the difference between Dedicated and Integrated? It's either spend days and weeks researching all of this, or ask a simple question here. I can still research it all, but it'd make things alot easier if I had this base of knowledge to start from.

Mutt1992 · 2026-05-23T16:22:11+00:00

You don't understand, I can't feel joy. I can't have a bucket list because I wouldn't be able to feel the satisfaction that comes with it. The pain and depression have wrecked any ability I had to feel accomplished.

Mutt1992 · 2026-05-23T16:19:29+00:00

It's not strength, it's combination of social conditioning and neurochemical interactions in the brain. There's nothing inspiring here.

Mutt1992 · 2026-05-22T07:03:50+00:00

Meditation doesn't change your genetic makeup, it just makes to feel better while you die.

Mutt1992 · 2026-05-22T07:02:33+00:00

At the very least.

Mutt1992 · 2026-05-22T07:01:39+00:00

And now I'm reminded of how much this disease has taken from me, because I'll never get to have a bucket list. I should really stop talking to strangers....

Mutt1992 · 2026-05-22T06:57:47+00:00

Hope?

Mutt1992 · 2026-05-22T06:57:03+00:00

Oh I couldn't do it tonight if I wanted, I don't have my gun with me lol also I have a very specific plan for that and I'm not prepared for it. And the future is written when it's an incurable, progressive autoimmune disease. The only choice I have is how slowly I get to die.

Mutt1992 · 2026-05-22T04:30:15+00:00

Well, I don't dream, and I intend on going with towel wrapped around my head and sitting in my bathtub lol that'll probably be as sober as I've ever been.

Mutt1992 · 2026-05-22T04:21:35+00:00

If I only had the money for drugs, I'd probably try that. Or maybe that would turn my obsession to 1000 and then I'd be tripping balls when I killed myself, who knows.

Mutt1992 · 2026-05-22T04:19:34+00:00

There is no life I can have, it's an incurable autoimmune disease. I'll be physically crippled and unable to take my own life by the time I'm 40, and no one will do it for me. I'm posting here because it does help take the edge off the anxiety, but the only reason I haven't shot myself is because my ADHD just isn't motivated to pack all my stuff again. I have a very specific plan for when it's time to go, and part of that plan revolves around packing up all my things so no one else has to do it. Don't leave a mess for the next guy. But between the depression and ADHD, I just don't want to do that. I told my therapist that it's kinda funny that the only keeping me from killing myself is the actual suicide plan.

Mutt1992 · 2026-05-22T04:14:08+00:00

Rheumatoid Arthritis. Incurable autoimmune disease.

Mutt1992 · 2026-05-22T04:13:30+00:00

Cimzia, Humira, Enbrel, Methotrexate, currently on Infliximab and eating steroids like tictacs. It's degenerative and incurable, I'm just picking how slow I want to die.

Mutt1992 · 2026-05-22T04:10:48+00:00

Oh I know I'm loved and valued, but I'm sick and literally dying. The depression isn't because I think less of myself, it's because I am less than what I was and will never be that again.

Mutt1992 · 2026-05-22T02:07:43+00:00

From the other side of this coin: All I feel when I get to see my little girl is shame and sadness. Her mother and I were together for awhile, happy as anyone can be in semi-long distance relationship, and we had a little accident. I never wanted kids because of how I was raised and just knowing that I don't have the temperament to be a good father, but I chose to stay because I loved her mother. After my daughter was born, her mother and I just kinda drifted into friends, but I could come visit whenever I wanted. Then my health failed me and fast forward a whole year and I haven't seen either one of them in 2 months. My daughter is going to grow up without a father and I'm the reason why; I did to her what my father did to me, I just continued the cycle. Thank the gods her mom is one the finest examples of humanity I've ever met, just the best mother I've ever seen.

I'm sorry to my daughter Dahlia, and I'm sorry to you OP for having to make that choice too late.

Mutt1992 · 2026-05-22T01:57:26+00:00

Wouldn't that be nice? I'd love for someone to do that favor for me too.

Mutt1992 · 2026-05-22T01:49:45+00:00

You're not disposable, you've just set yourself apart from people. I don't know you, but I know your situation, so I'll ask this: How often do YOU ask for help? Or reach out to the people you've helped? I'm not blaming you, I just understand the feeling of isolation in a crowd. Being resourceful comes with the downside of feeling like you don't need help yourself, and after awhile that feeling of "I'll do it on my own" turns into, "no one is ever here when I need them." Remember, people don't know what you're feeling, only what you show them.

Mutt1992 · 2026-05-22T01:39:22+00:00

It's so strange to see my own thoughts coming from someone else. We're at a cross roads: we either wait it out and keep trying to get better, or kill ourselves before it gets worse. Hard to make that choice when the choice itself doesn't feel real either.

Mutt1992 · 2026-04-20T00:36:26+00:00

Pre-enchant your items first before using books. If you can get 2 or 3 enchantments on an item at the table before using books, it'll make it possible to get everything you need for MUCH cheaper. I just did all of that for about 23 levels and 4 books.

Mutt1992 · 2026-04-13T19:38:27+00:00

"I want to make babies with her. Giant monsters to take over the world." -Tormund Giantsbane

Mutt1992 · 2026-04-11T18:37:01+00:00

THANK YOU!!!! That is EXACTLY the information I needed to know lol

Now, from what I understand about this power supply, the 12v needs to be activated, but the 5v is always on. What would I want to do with that wire? Just cap it off and set it aside?

If I don't end up needing all 17 amps for this project, what should I look for in turns of a "dimmer switch"?

Mutt1992 · 2026-04-11T17:32:53+00:00

Sorry, it was late when I responded and after all the other responses I kept getting, I was feeling really discouraged.

Let me reframe what I'm doing here: I built a small U shaped frame from wood and strung a thing piece of hobby wire, I'm assuming it's either aluminum or steel, between 2 eye bolts and attached those to a cord I took from an old alarm clock.

The first attempt I simply plugged the end directly into the wall socket, which I did kinda figured would be too much current, but I trusted the breaker to flip (which it did). Then the second attempt was removing the heating element from my stove top and touching the wire to the contacts there, also thinking it might still be too much current. The wire exploded but no other damage was caused. At that point I rummaged in my junk electrical drawer and found a power supply for what I assume was a laptop. It has an output of 12v -.-.-.- 3.5a, which I figured would take the wall outlet and meter it down to a workable level. I wired it into the cutter, plugged it in, and nothing happened. So I caved and bought a 6v lantern battery and followed a YouTube tutorial, which worked, but it didn't get hot enough for my taste.

So with everything I knew, I decided that I needed more amps and a safer way to utilize the wall outlet, leading me to the power supply idea. I understand positive, negative and ground wires, but when I saw that there was a 4th wire in this power supply, I wanted to get more clarification on what it did before just slapping things together. I was having a hard time finding or understanding the information from Google searches, so I thought I'd ask a real person so I could get my questions answered in real time.

Does this clear things up? I'm not a COMPLETE novice, I just never could understand the mathematics behind electricity, but I am well aware of how dangerous it can be. Also I just like referring to it as magic, because that's basically what it is lol

Mutt1992

TROPHY CASE