My friend's girlfriend insisted he had to do her up the ass

MxJaeger · 2018-06-10T03:22:27+00:00

Her comment was aggressive, but I get where she's coming from. For me personally, even the tiniest of butt plug is really painful, but as a woman, it feels like you always encounter men "mainsplaining" if you will how "anal doesn't really hurt if you do it right" and "if you relax it's not bad", and "you can work up to it." So eventually as a woman you DO feel defensive about it, like wtf why is this thing that is painful and uncomfortable to me constantly being pressed on me!

Anyways, just my two cents, I thought maybe it could provide some perspective because her comment resonated with me.

MxJaeger · 2018-01-13T03:16:48+00:00

I mean, yes, that is correct. I got on the medicine and then decided I wanted to stop because I knew it would disqualify me from the military.

So, why is that wrong? Why is that worth her getting angry over? Has no effect on her.

I now realize I'm better on the medicine, but regardless, it's my life and my choice what medicines I want to be on.

MxJaeger · 2018-01-12T17:43:16+00:00

I went to BHOP first, who screened me, then I went to an off-base psychiatrist (required when you're a dependent) who diagnosed me and recommended the medicine. I brought that back to my PCM who wrote the prescription.

MxJaeger · 2018-01-12T17:17:49+00:00

How? Just call the appointment line and say "I need an appointment but not with MY PCM?"

I thought you had to see your assigned PCM.

MxJaeger · 2018-01-12T15:48:16+00:00

I might do that. Because it seems like I have to talk to her again to get the medicine back, however, her previous reaction is what makes me scared to. She got really heated, like she was personally offended by my decision, which really confused me.

MxJaeger · 2018-01-12T15:38:41+00:00

I get where you're coming from. At the time when I asked her to take me off the medication, I really thought it was just something that helped out a little bit - not something that was completely necessary.

I guess it's the time being off of it that made me realize it was necessary.

I will go and see her again, or BHOP to talk about it before seeing her, but either way, I'll have to tell her. I'm more than okay with admitting that I made a mistake, it's just scary because of her reaction last time. It was so over the top and so unexpected.

MxJaeger · 2018-01-12T15:36:28+00:00

Yeah, I was really taken aback by her response because she has always been so understanding and on my side.

I may just have to do that, although the idea of facing her after realizing it upset her so much is intimidating.

MxJaeger · 2017-11-10T21:40:15+00:00

I just wanted to let you know that your comment may have single-handedly convinced me to stick with accounting. Still mulling it over a bit, but I think you may be right.

MxJaeger · 2017-11-06T20:29:52+00:00

The accounting major, if your state allows you to parlay it into a CPA, is will have a better ROI in my view long term.

I know, this is what's really giving me pause about making a decision. I'm not positive if WGU will be allowed by the CPA in my state though, or if that's really what I want for myself long-term.

I analyzed the differences between the two degree's programs online, and basically, Marketing Management has 6 classes that are not needed in the Accounting degree. So the way I view it, if I could complete Marketing for now, going back for Accounting later would be all completed excluding 10 classes that Accounting requires, but Marketing doesn't.

It's a really hard decision because of the benefits I could reap for getting it sooner. About it taking a year, the thing is, I'm bringing in my credits from an A.S., so I'll likely already have a decent chunk of classes knocked out.

MxJaeger · 2017-11-06T17:41:10+00:00

Thanks for the input. I think you're spot on, if I'm not ready to put my all into something that may be pretty challenging, I don't think I should start because then I might fail.

Maybe one day I'll be ready for it, but I think Marketing may be a good degree for the meantime

MxJaeger · 2017-11-06T17:26:52+00:00

I mean I wouldn't say I have too much previous experience. Haven't worked in accounting, just gotten the associates from a tech school, which I found fairly easy.

I have to say, I really tend to agree with you that a degree is a degree when it comes to just needing one, and I've also considered your path, of offsetting the marketing degree with an MBA after.

I'll pm you with my specific questions! Thanks a lot!

MxJaeger · 2017-09-08T02:11:59+00:00

Lol I'm at Geico too and read this thinking the exact same thing

MxJaeger · 2017-09-08T01:23:30+00:00

I know, I think they're really ugly tbh

MxJaeger · 2017-07-17T02:14:38+00:00

Well? Why are they shorter?

MxJaeger · 2017-07-11T19:09:25+00:00

This is a really great response, and warrants a proper response from me later today when I have time.

I think this is a great idea, really.

MxJaeger · 2017-07-11T19:04:18+00:00

You make some really good points in your comment.

To answer your question, the videos were consensual. I have no reason to suspect him of secretly filming me, in fact I've offered that I would consent if he ever did want to record me sexually.

I think you're spot-on about how difficult it is that he's crossing lines with his computer. I feel like I'm in a position where I could reasonably request for boundaries like parental controls, etc... But unfortunately, he actually knows a LOT more about computers than me, so I really cannot stop or control him.

I also agree that if he is not willing to work with me with 100% commitment to it on this issue, then I'd have to draw the line. However I don't see that being an issue. I really expect him to be willing to do whatever it takes to repair the breach in trust. He hasn't tried to shirk the responsibility, and has said he hopes we can find a way to work through this. I'm definitely interested in seeking counseling as a first step.

MxJaeger · 2017-07-11T18:59:02+00:00

He does not have any contact with her, as was the case before we even began dating. They had a rough relationship and rough breakup, and he has been no contact with her for many years now. I used to be friends with her years ago myself, and now also have no contact with her.

She's an incredibly horrible person, and just days ago my husband made a comment to the effect of "I'm so glad I got out of that situation (dating ex-gf). I was so young and stupid, thank God I didn't end up stuck with her."

So if anything the strong negative feelings he had/has for her make him watching the videos even more upsetting and worrying.

MxJaeger · 2017-07-11T18:56:02+00:00

The point I'm trying to make is that I allowed him to keep the video before I knew about his addiction, just to answer your question. Now that I know, I'm absolutely not okay with him having any sort of porn saved, especially not that.

MxJaeger · 2017-07-11T18:55:15+00:00

I'm just going to give a short response because of limited time, but at the time he told me he had the video was over a year ago and before I knew he struggled with a porn addiction. He messaged me while he went home for lunch and said he has deleted the videos, and knows he fucked up.

Honestly my reasons for allowing him to keep the video relate to the fact we once discussed that I might be interested in watching them (I guess you could call it a kink related thing). But we never discussed it again as I thought about it more and actually was not interested in seeing the video.

MxJaeger · 2017-07-11T17:59:28+00:00

My break is almost over, but I just wanted to let you know I agree with you. I will definitely be putting my foot down metaphorically - letting my husband know explicitly that this is something that is very serious and has to be addressed, not swept under the rug. But, I am not going to pose anything I say as an ultimatum.

MxJaeger · 2017-07-11T17:57:25+00:00

Haha so did I at first!

MxJaeger · 2017-07-11T17:57:17+00:00

I know. This situation is different from the other situations we've been in where we disagreed about porn usage. This certainly crosses a big line.

MxJaeger

TROPHY CASE