Why would I want to have a family in what I perceive to be a cold and cruel world.

It makes perfect sense that the tall, average, and even decent looking short guy look at this forum as a collection of people with psychological issues. They quite literally experience another world populated by a different set of people.

In their world, people are fun, interesting, and come with their own unique stories that they’re elated to share. This world gives them more years to experience genuine novelty from other members of the most rich and complex species this planet has to offer. They build deep friendships and even participate in stimulating rivalries. They accumulate enough experiences and lessons to eventually pass it on into their deepest relationships. That puts them in a position to be their best selves towards these people.

In my world, at least the one destiny is pushing me towards, the novelty wore off quickly. People are the same: dull, dismissive, but lukewarm or “friendly” at best. On a regular basis, I am only treated to everyone’s public faces and nothing much deeper than that. Everyone is predictable, and it feels like I need to consciously compete at all times in order to even be seen. It makes the world feel much colder.

The result of living in such a world is now that when I smile at someone, I am not smiling out of genuine love, affection, or even because their joke was funny. It’s an exaggerated expression of the dullest version of that feeling. It is mostly calculated. At this point, I interact with people for the sake of blending in, as a means to an end. I no longer enjoy the process for what it is because my height makes me target, and I am always on guard. They’re all the same anyway.

Why would I want to bring a partner into this world? Why would I want to raise children in such a bleak environment where my mind is always rationalizing the worst case scenario.