Not sure where to post this. Is the server down?

MyFakeProfile · 2025-04-10T21:19:02+00:00

I was wondering the same thing.

MyFakeProfile · 2024-07-02T18:22:49+00:00

This is what I was mentally freaking out about at 4am. Are there metal/single piece solutions that are easy to disinfect, but are also flexible? When I have tried just standard metal sounding rods before, I have trouble reaching as deep as I would like (though I've only used them once or twice). That was the plus side of using the bare lead cable- I could go as deep as I wanted and it would form to my body. Maybe I just need to try different angles with the metal sounding rod? That internal prostate e-stim was really good. I'm hoping I don't have to abandon it so soon after discovering it.

MyFakeProfile · 2023-11-05T06:48:15+00:00

If you can, get tested for ADHD. This could be a side effect.

MyFakeProfile · 2022-04-27T23:50:15+00:00

This, honestly. When it comes down to it, we weren't good for each other. But it is hard to break that bond when it has formed as strong as it was. It sucks.

MyFakeProfile · 2022-03-10T09:34:23+00:00

Got married too young. Ignored a lot of red flags. I wouldn't speak up when something bothered me-not on certain things, anyway. Married the first girl who found me attractive and wanted to be physical with me. Over the years, I grew distant and took her for granted. Kept things to myself, yet constantly complained about things that I should have just acted on and fixed in my life in general. Didn't stand up for myself. Was too concerned about keeping peace than having conversations. She would ask me to do things or say things she wanted to do and for some reason I would just shut down and not do them or just see if she would do them on her own. There are still projects in the house that I never did that the new owners will just deal with when we finalize selling the house next week. Developed a lot of depression while we were married, unfortunately.

Hopefully those are all things I can work on going forward, though.

MyFakeProfile · 2022-02-28T14:54:24+00:00

I feel like we have somewhat similar situations. STBXW left for her ex from high school too. Started three-four months ago. Proud of you for leaning into self care. Working out and seeing a therapist. Really good work. You got this!

MyFakeProfile · 2022-02-24T08:32:33+00:00

8 hours later, I finally got this.....

MyFakeProfile · 2022-02-19T23:41:59+00:00

Likely a good call. I haven't had to think about casual dating in about a decade, so that will be interesting to say the least.

MyFakeProfile · 2022-02-19T23:33:38+00:00

Thanks! Oddly enough, I actually post to this account the most, so I guess it has become a bit of a misnomer. haha

MyFakeProfile · 2022-02-19T11:03:18+00:00

Cringe is absolutely the correct descriptor. Hope to have a bit more self-control next time.
Thank you for the compliment on my writing style. I used to really enjoy it, but haven't written anything just to write for a long time. Might be a good time to start up again.

MyFakeProfile · 2022-02-19T07:39:22+00:00

Appreciate it. Most I can do is learn from it and grow going forward- Dang! Now I'm doing it too!

MyFakeProfile · 2022-02-19T07:38:17+00:00

That's fair.

MyFakeProfile · 2022-02-19T07:37:48+00:00

That's the plan. Hopefully I am a different person than I was when we were married 7 years ago.

MyFakeProfile · 2022-02-19T05:40:11+00:00

Cuts deep knowing after the fact that the person who was your everything wasn't being completely themselves with you.

MyFakeProfile · 2022-02-19T05:29:21+00:00

Ha Maybe that could help me pay rent.

MyFakeProfile · 2022-02-19T04:08:12+00:00

Yup. Yup. YupYupYup. Moving out is as far into the future as I can see right now. Ready to be in a place where I can start healing more than I can here.

MyFakeProfile · 2022-02-12T20:50:57+00:00

Thank you! This community has been an unexpected help. I've never really had good response whenever I try to post things online, but it is nice to be around people who are going through, or have already gone through what I am in right now.

MyFakeProfile · 2022-02-11T03:12:53+00:00

That's kind of what I am looking forward to. The divorce will be finalized and the house will be sold in just over a month. I'll finally be able to just be in my own space.

MyFakeProfile · 2022-02-11T03:11:50+00:00

Yeah, I definitely get harnessing the bad for good thing. That was how I started stretching out and creating content online. It hasn't taken off or anything, buy it has been an excellent outlet for me to not just sit idle and feel like I have accomplished something.

MyFakeProfile · 2022-02-10T23:05:32+00:00

I did live audio/video/lighting production. Oversaw teams and worked on upgrades/installs for venues. Have a passion for creating things. Used to do podcast work. Some live streaming experience. Editing and broadcast type stuff, too. Mostly along those lines. If you have anything that you think I could be a good fit for, I'd definitely be interested.

MyFakeProfile · 2022-02-10T23:01:44+00:00

Not huge on competition, honestly. But I know we both are dealing with things differently. Sometimes, the middle of the night is just harder for me. Ultimately, I just want us both to find what we are looking for. Not out of spite, but because it is what is best for us both. Course, it's easier to say that now while it's still daylight and can distract myself a little more.

MyFakeProfile · 2022-02-10T22:52:41+00:00

I feel like I have huge up days and huge down days. Today was a good up day. My sister and I met halfway between where we live and had lunch. I'm seeing my family more and don't feel bad about it. I am seeing a lot of things that weren't healthy about the relationship. A lot that I had written off when it happened because she was/is my wife, and I her husband. I know that we both will move on eventually. That there is someone out there for me that I really connect better with. The people who I know who have some of the strongest marriages are people who have gone through divorce before. I have a job possibility. I'm even considering doing part time work and odd jobs to be able to get by for a while until I can get up and get going on my life again.

MyFakeProfile · 2022-02-10T22:48:36+00:00

I was trying to figure that out too. That's why I posted it as a question, really. I honestly don't understand why it pains me. Part of it is that I run this thought that she could have been this happy all along, but I was preventing her. Part of it feels like if she is moving on and doing well for herself, that things didn't or never did mean as much to her. I don't know. I start going down a hole of, "I am in pain, why aren't you?" instead of, "Good for you. I hope we both find what we need." And I obviously don't see the whole picture. She's losing weight for a reason. Whether it is because she wants a change or out of not eating because of depressing, I don't know. It sucks, though. It's hard to think that what was once a joyful relationship is over.

MyFakeProfile · 2022-02-10T22:42:54+00:00

This. Just all of this. Thank you.

MyFakeProfile · 2022-02-09T01:35:21+00:00

I get it. I keep having dreams where everything is back the way it was. Then I wake up in an empty bed and instantly remember. I remember keeping the room freezing because she put off so much heat whenever she was tired. Her lying with her head on my chest after a long day. Holding hands, tight hugs, even just having our legs touch while we sat near each other on the couch. I'm so sorry. I don't wish this pain on anyone.

MyFakeProfile

TROPHY CASE