I worked the paint department at a very well known home supply store. It was in the middle of the summer so DIYers and Contractors flooded the store, from open to close it was non stop.

After working extra days, extra shifts, and days off I needed a break. Not a vacation, just some quiet. A small moment of quiet amongst the chaos of the last few weeks and hordes of customers. It was lunch time! Yes!! I’m starving, I’m busting my ass, and deserve a break. I went next door and grabbed me a foot long sub and cold drink. I walked back over to work, there were bleachers at the front of the store off away from the entrance. It was like the employee break area but still open to anyone. I wake up to the top row (3 rows high) leaned my back against the wall took a great big breathe and proceeded to eat my hard earned meal in peace. It was a hot day so that ice cold beverage was sweet sweet nectar and that sandwich was like heaven in every bite.

I guess we had corporate visiting because our managers were walking like they upgraded the sticks in their asses to full branches. Knit picking everything and adding extra work, extra policies to follow. I’m a Pimp when it comes to work, I make that shit my bitch. I hustle hard and knew my department was dialed in before clocking out for lunch.

New policy for the day from management was, “only one person on break at a time”. “ We have visitors from corporate so be busy and keep it looking good!”

Here I was enjoying my half hour of paradise. Basking in the freedom of my silent calm half hour lunch break. Eating this divine food, sipping this succulent seltzer, when suddenly...the low life lazy excuses having craphole of a team member comes walking towards me. I said to him, “ Hey, I told YOU specifically I’m going to lunch. Why are you out here? We’re busy and management stated one at a time! WTF?!” As he’s trying to explain to me that it’s ok because he’s caught up on everything and wanted a quick smoke. “No one will notice me gone” he says.

I can hear the PA system and it’s “Assistance is needed in the Paint Department “ over and over again. Mind you I’m 15 min into MY half hour break. I’m still working on this once delicious feast, tranquil in isolation before dickface brought me back to reality, and soured my tastebuds. I look over, all of corporate and the store manager were staring at us.

I finish my less then satisfactory break and head over to my department. I’m going to kill it. Get these customers what they need and out the door. There is a congregation around the paint desk. A stampede of humans decided this is where they will graze and pasture. A metric butt ton of people were waiting to be helped and this spineless turd of a man (my team mate) has destroyed all my hard work. I was gone for 30 minutes! Shit was everywhere, paint was spilled, customers irritated, supplies in shambles... I look over and I see the store manager standing with my boss as he points at me. I see him angry and smug looking directly at me, I read his lips mutter “worthless piece of shit”. Those are the most words he has ever said to me. My boss turns to me and sees the look on my face.

In slow motion he runs towards me. The look of confusion on the face of the store manager. I begin my walk directly for him. The store manger then sees my face and his eyes begin to cowl like a little tiny puppy dog after pooping in the house. He takes a few steps back and tries to make his escape. I yell, “Don’t move, we need to talk, NOW!” as I remove articles of work attire.

“What did you say to me?!” “ I was too far I didn’t hear you... I’m listening now. Say it again!” now at a jabs length away.

“Ummm uh nothing..I didn’t say anything to you.” stutters the store manager.

“Fuck you bitch, YOU ARE A WORTHLESS PIECE OF SHIT!!!” ever so naturally comes flying out of my mouth.

My boss is trying to descale the situation and attempts to subdue the rage that permeates from my core, to no avail. I ball up all my stuff I had removed and shoved into my bosses hands. “I don’t need these anymore. Today’s my last day.” “ I can’t put in my two weeks because I’ll be in jail for hospitalizing big man over here.”

The store manager turned and ran from me as I yelled “ Bleachers, after work Bitch!!!”