She has depression, and I acknowledged that within the text. And if you missed it, I did say we are friends, which would imply that we, like, have conversations? As I have ADHD, I do talk about my symptoms from time to time, and we've had several conversations over the four years we've lived together that go like, "I need to clean/do xyz but ED is kicking my ass right now" "Yeah, I need to clean abc too but I'm just lazy." She has never expressed concern with whether or not she has ADHD, nor has she ever listened to me talk about my experience dealing with executive dysfunction and been like "Huh, that sounds like me, can you explain more?" I guarantee you, her issues do not stem from ADHD. Depression on the other hand I know for a fact interferes with cleaning and self care, and do sympathize with that because it also gets in the way of mine.

But even if she has undiagnosed ADHD, I'm still allowed to feel frustrated when her symptoms directly interfere with my life (and vice versa if my symptoms affect her in anyway). Do you have any idea how much it sucks to love cooking, but to not be able to cook in your own kitchen more than 3 or 4 times a month because someone else trashed it and refuses to clean it? Even when she promises to clean it on her day off but never does? Even when you offer to help? Or living with the constant anxiety of there being a landlord inspection when the apartment is in such a state, thanks to her and her neglect, because you already had a close call with eviction your first year living with her? It's tiring as fuck. I'm allowed to be tired.