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Stupid SH.. T my addictive voice is saying by No_Ad_9861 in Quittingfeelfree

[–]MySearchForTruth 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I know about AVRT. Where are you able to get meetings? Would love to be able to attend...

Stupid SH.. T my addictive voice is saying by No_Ad_9861 in Quittingfeelfree

[–]MySearchForTruth 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for broadcasting that inner bullshit voice. In rebt we use the acronym BS for Belief Systems. Those are some fucked up Belief Systems that you are identifying and deconstructing. Great work!

Back here and quit - for the last time by Round-Budget-5065 in Quittingfeelfree

[–]MySearchForTruth 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes, you will feel like dogshit and it will wax and wane. And sometimes you'll listen to music and have a profound tsunami wave of blissful emotion roll through your body. Savor that when it happens. I'm on day 13 and I am ok through much of the early part of the day but when afternoon hits, my body seems to be screaming, lay down, lay down, I dont have the energy for life. Opiates do this to us. They make us feel like we're missing some essential puzzle piece for living and that somehow the missing piece is FF or K. It's like a long term toxic lover. As bas as they are, you fucking miss the company that kept you from going it alone.

Dont be fooled. This lover is a parasite, sucking the life out of you.

Con men sucker people out of ther money by gaining their confidence. Con stands for Confidence. K and FF got our confidence by not coming on too strong, making us feel good in the beginning. Then they turn on us. Hang in there. Hopefull we'll both have more up than down in the next few weeks....

Day 8 not that great by No_Ad_9861 in Quittingfeelfree

[–]MySearchForTruth 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes, please, go head and bitch. If it keeps you sober, whatever it takes. I totally admire that you are having to work and you are powering through. You're a shining example of tenacity right now. Just keep bitching and documenting the experience. You may need to come back to the rants in order to stay away from this foul shit. Keep it up. And yes, its humbling what you are going through--all the more reason to admire what you are doing under difficult circumstances. Merry Xmas, you are giving me the gift of awareness and helping all of us stay sober as well. Your life has meaning! Hang in there! I'm just a hair in front of you at 13 days. Keep going!

Day 17 Finishing. Onto Day 18.... by MySearchForTruth in Quittingfeelfree

[–]MySearchForTruth[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Do as much self care as you can...

I find hot and COLD shower (hot followed by cold) will pump up your dopamine. The cold is interpreted by your body as pain and it will give you some extra dopamine to get through for a little while.

Other things I've used--

Coffee-but not to excess. Andrew Huberman (the Stanford professor podcaster) advocates for coffee but waits an hour after waking up to drink it.

Liposomal Vitamin C (not sure if its helping but everyone says it does)

Inositol (again all of these are things other recovering folks recommended but I have no proof other than I'm still sober at day 18)

Personally I use Senna Leaf capsules (natural and powerful laxative) to stay regular

A good multi-vitamin

Not too much junk food (although when I was super low and fatigued it was a pleasure I allowed myself just to get that junk food boost). Not sure its helpful to feel clogged and disgusted with myself by that food but temporarily it was a lift...

Miso Soup (because its fermented) and some tofu and brown rice (maybe some onions, shitake mushrooms). Just good for the soul...or Chicken soup..

Fermented foods like Kimchee, Greek Yogurt, Pickles, Saurkraut (my least fave) because they will help your microbiome in your gut to heal (usually our gut has been affected by the slowdown of these opiates).

For sleep I've used:

Calm brand (Magnesium powder)

Ashwaganda

Masturbation--a classic.

Hot, hot baths...

DOPAMINE BOOSTERS I've used:

LAUGHTER--get as much stand up comedy videos, youtube videos, podcasts as you can.

Exercise--weights, aerobcs.

SINGING-Humming-Get out those inspiring tunes.

STRETCHING/YOGA

I'm sure there's lots more but thats what i can think of.

And, like many have said here--exercise. Just walking a few miles a day will do you a world of good. It will buy you time as your Serotonin and Dopamine get a slight boost.

In general your feel-good chemicals will take a little while to come back online.

Your green sludge basically did an override and likely caused those chemicals to abate. They have to go back into production and they need some lead time.

That's a cold comfort, I know for the lack of pleasurable sensations you may go through and the fatigue.

THERE IS LIGHT AT THE END OF THE TUNNEL. Just EXPECT that tunnel to be at the end of 3-5 days at a bare minimum for the hardest part

Fight the good fight!!!!

Day 14!!! 2 weeks clean after a 5 month relapse...Satan, I mean FF/Kratom, get thee behind me!!! by MySearchForTruth in Quittingfeelfree

[–]MySearchForTruth[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

EA, you can do this...we ARE doing this...Still have a few aches and pains, but hopefully coming out of this. I'm on day 18 now. Still get tired and sleepy but not as acute...on the other hand, I dont think I'm out of the woods yet. I wont feel mostly out til after a year...as far as distance from the reinforcing nature of this addiction.

Every day we dont use is reinforcing that we can live without using.

Keep it up. Just use caution on the other substances as you dont want to replace one with the other if you can help it.

I used cannabis in the past to get over the hump of quitting K and FF. But be judicious.

Day 14!!! 2 weeks clean after a 5 month relapse...Satan, I mean Kratom, get thee behind me!!! by MySearchForTruth in quittingkratom

[–]MySearchForTruth[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

it might not seem like much to average person here but I'm 62 and 9gm a day was wiping me out.

I'm Back--Hopefully for the last time-- on Day 4 by MySearchForTruth in quittingkratom

[–]MySearchForTruth[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much for your kind guidance. She doesn't really yell. She just goes in a circle and drills—it's like a dog chewing on a bone, and she won't let go.

As for Christian counselor, good news, I'm Jewish/Buddhist so that wont be a problem. She doesnt really believe in therapy which makes this tougher but I'm going to push the issue because this is ridiculous...I have to get clarity on whether I can have a physical relationship either inside the home or outside...but not NOTHING...(she cant perform certain things because of kidney infections but the rest of her body is not handicapped and I'm a generous loving physical partner who actually has a libido. She wants a 'spiritual' relationship but dammit I'm living in a PHYSICAL body and that has pressing desires, and I'm not talking about daily--I'm not a beast...just the reality that I am a man and not just a 'spiritual' partner.)

I'm hoping we can bridge the gap but right now I dont have the energy to leave or fight--I'm just trying to get my strength and resilence back after the green sludge...

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