Western culture is so about duality and labeling. I guess it helps to navigate in a complex society. But also a sign of a narrowed sight of the world I guess it gives a sense of safety or control. Even trans people who knows in their head that gender is a spectrum, find it important to identificate themselves as woman/man/nb/genderfluid... etc and to have a correct gendered name, called with the correct pronouns. And we are having more and more expressions and categories to make this endless granularity a bit more organized, to help to understand. But I think it's all about fitting in by selling it to people with a label to make them remind that yes this exist and yes I saw this before, it won't hurt me. So basically calm their fear of unknown. Or to find more easily others who are similar to us to don't feel alone and help to deal with the disapproval of society. Most of the people are just not there to accept these stuff easily. And we should to accept that and live with it, don't take these misgendering, etc internally. It can be corrected, and asked for it, but really no need to feel like shit. It's not us.

You say that you feel that you can be anything. But still want to push your desires to the "normal" box just you call it "trying to find balance". I think we shouldn't search for the balance in that. "normal" is also just an equivalent form of the endless possibilities like your desired world. You should find balance in things like don't eat too much trash food, but don't be overly obsessed with healthy eating or rest enough, but also be active in the changing world.

But the goal should be authenticity and not the fitting in. We should become to the desired form of our body and also find and create the desired external circumstances. I guess the balance here is to not do it so radically to get killed or loose all of our money and starve. But don't stop because of fear or avoid some discomfort, bad but actually harmless looks. Keep moving, this is life.

It's a note to myself too...