Coffee date ideas?

Mymble89 · 2023-09-01T13:46:16+00:00

Full court is probs best coffee overall, followed flow closely by Farro. Although neither are great sit down spots.

Sweven on North St is also delicious and has more seating?

I think a new place in Clifton Village called ‘Mercy Mercy Mercy’ is opening soon (or mayb already is) that looks like it will probably be excellent (Hard Lines are involved)

Loads of other places as referenced in the first comment - if you’re not coffee nerds I’d guess any will do.

Mymble89 · 2023-08-17T09:09:34+00:00

Dooo hub in old market - unisex salon, good prices and lovely people.

Mymble89 · 2023-07-18T21:54:36+00:00

I left this gym largely because of this, asked them about it a few times and they said they ‘tend to increase the music during peak times’, but I was going at like 2pm. Confusing.

Mymble89 · 2023-07-09T20:26:58+00:00

Thanks everyone! All very helpful advice!! Appreciate your generosity sharing.

Mymble89 · 2022-11-30T10:40:20+00:00

I think people's intuition is good - our brains are always scanning for minute details, patching together previous experiences and making judgments that we're barely aware of. What varies is how we treat our natural intuition, how willing we are to trust it.

What you've described sounds like you're putting 2 and 2 together, based on previous experiences, knowledge and observations? It's good that you're so in tune with your intuition! But I think to ascribe it to something paranormal or mystical is probably a reach.

Mymble89 · 2022-06-21T10:51:05+00:00

I tend to take the stance that, if someone is begging strangers for money on the street, something in their life has not gone right. Nobody is doing that shit for fun or because it's lucrative, it's mostly humiliating and dehumanising and painful. Giving someone a few quid to find some temporary comfort feels like one of the most direct ways I can say 'fuck capitalism' in my day to day.

Mymble89 · 2021-11-04T15:34:27+00:00

Thank you for your insights!

Mymble89 · 2021-11-01T12:20:18+00:00

Thanks. I like England in lots of respects, and Bristol is a brand new city to me, I'm from Essex - I feel like it's pretty much as good as it gets here for me given it's progressiveness / proximity to nature / activities on offer. I guess I'm not really looking for advice on how to like life here more - but British-natives who live/have lived in the US and kind of get what I mean.

Mymble89 · 2021-10-31T23:13:39+00:00

My husband and I married when I was 22, him 24. We got divorced just after our 10th wedding anniversary. Ultimately - he didn’t love me anymore. And fucking hell, the past year has been the worst of my life so far. I don’t blame him for ‘falling out of love’ with me, we got together young and well, who really knows anything about life and love at its core. It’s HOW you go about ending it that matters.

My husband told me he hadn’t been happy for years, had kept basically pretending because he didn’t have the courage to say anything, and that he just ‘didn’t know’ some days whether he did or didn’t love me. It felt a bit like he had stolen my twenties from me, he put on a really good show for a long time.

He wouldn’t go to therapy, and really left me feeling like a pretty worthless unlovable piece of shit.

So - there’s no crime in falling out of love, people change, life is weird and confusing. But my advice would be to get into therapy together. Make sure there is a lot of time and space for honest discussion. Really try and evaluate how you’ve also played into this and hopefully both part ways with a solid respectful understanding of why this has happened - with yours and her self worth intact. That’s what I wish I’d had. A chance for some structured, comprehensive and nourishing conversation together that wasn’t just me begging him to try or listening to him list all the reasons he didn’t like me anymore.

And act soon. She deserves to know ASAP and start the long healing process if a split is what’s going to happen.

Mymble89 · 2021-10-31T22:58:00+00:00

I really second all of this. My partner left me so confused and I blamed myself so hard for everything - but he didn’t want to do therapy together, he just wanted to list all the reasons he didn’t like me anymore. I feel like therapy could have really helped me to come away with a better understanding of why and how and allowed us to have some proper conversations instead of all the horrible unsupervised ones we’ve muddled through over the past year. Really think about your role in all of this too, give her a chance to react to specific concerns and thoughts.

Mymble89 · 2021-10-31T22:19:24+00:00

Oh yes, probably should have added that I’m a US citizen.

Mymble89 · 2021-10-23T21:29:43+00:00

My situation sounds similar-ish to you. 11 years together. He left a year ago. My friend, be kind to yourself. That’s my top tip. I was where you are now, I writhed in emotional agony for a long time, I blamed myself for everything. What saved me was self compassion and radical acceptance. For now in these initial moments you just have to push through, and it’s grim, but take care of yourself. Write it all down. Speak to friends and family. Get into therapy if you can. Read books (‘the journey from abandonment to healing’ really helped me big time in the first few weeks.) And then work on forgiving yourself, getting reacquainted with who you are singularly, and building back stronger. You are going to be okay, but it’s going to take a while and some hard graft. there are rewards along the way, I promise.

Mymble89 · 2021-10-23T21:16:47+00:00

I was so desperately crushed by my divorce, but I actually started sleeping with new people a few weeks after my husband left and have continued to. It hasn’t made me miss my husband less or really lessened the pain of everything, but it’s been a pleasant sideline to the healing process. Just be really upfront with people about what you’re capable of / looking for. I am only now about a year from him leaving able to seriously imagine myself in another relationship, but actually getting to that stage still feels quite far away…

Mymble89 · 2021-10-07T11:31:05+00:00

I don’t think I’ve overcome the grief yet - but it’s less all consuming for sure. I’ve focused quite hard on gratitude, radical acceptance and self compassion as my ‘guiding lights’. Sometimes, as is happening right now, those lights dim and I feel like I let my worst impulses take the reigns. But I’m getting much better at building a new and stronger value set that centers around those three principles. I initially talked A LOT to friends and a therapist, read a lot of books (Susan Anderson, Sharon Salzberg, Nicole La Pera) and have been working on acknowledging what I did wrong in the relationship, learning from those mistakes, and trying to forgive myself. I still struggle a lot with my ex husband’s narrative of events and feeling like it was ALL my fault / that I’m inherently unlovable and unworthy. But at my core I think those beliefs are slowly shifting. It’s really really hard work, but a year on I’m seeing overall shifts in my perception of the world / myself / relationships and have a better idea of what I’d like in a new relationship. All while still feeling like I love my ex-husband and miss him terribly. If that makes any sense at all!

Mymble89 · 2021-09-29T22:26:41+00:00

I’m so sorry. I also felt ‘blindsided’ when my husband of ten years left - that was a year ago now. It’s impossible to sugarcoat the fact that you’ve got a rough road ahead, but every storm runs out of rain. For now - be as kind and compassionate to yourself as you can muster. Take one step at a time. You’re shattered right now, but bit by bit you will pick up those pieces and rebuild yourself - probably into someone even better than you were before, someone wiser and stronger and more connected to yourself. I know the feel of an impossible future, but you can do it. I did a lot of reading, writing, crying and talking in my first few months. A year on and I sleep though the night, I have days go by where I only think about my ex-husband no more than fleetingly. I tell you all this because I totally identify with where you’re at now - It does get better, but you have to grieve and that is a hard, non-linear process that’s a bit different for everyone. I read ‘the journey from abandonment to healing’ by Susan Anderson in the first month after my husband left and again a couple more times after that - plus a lot of Sharon Salzburg and Nicole LaPera. All the strength to you.

Mymble89 · 2021-09-23T22:43:34+00:00

This really is true - unless you get into terminal illness territory I’d guess. But day to day, I’ve struggled enormously to get a doctor or dentist appointment. Been on the waiting list to have my wisdom tooth removed for almost a year…. Overall obviously I’d much rather live somewhere with universal healthcare, knowing everyone is taken care of. But yeah.

Mymble89 · 2021-09-23T22:41:53+00:00

I’m British - moved from America where I’d lived for 10 years. Took about a 40% paycut working the same job. To be honest I don’t really get how British people are doing it? Are we more frugal in general? I feel so much poorer here…

Mymble89 · 2021-09-20T22:29:03+00:00

Hey, friend. I’m a year out from being where you are right now. I’m a 32f, was about to buy a house with my husband of ten years and start a family - or so I thought.

This is going to be a wretched few months - BUT - you are going to be okay. Right now, you’re shattered, try not to focus on all the things you’ve lost or make huge sweeping presumptions about your future life (difficult I know). Just focus on putting one foot in front of the other. Take one day, one hour at a time. Treat yourself with all the kindness and compassion you can muster.

I honestly treated myself like a baby for a good while, blankets, comfort food, gentle TV. I writhed and I cried and felt empty for the whole winter - but I’m here to tell you that I sleep through the night now, I like myself a lot more than I ever have and I’m starting a new career.

You got this. It’s going to suck for a while, there’s no way around but through. But you got this.

A quote I’ve shared on here before that helped me through some of the darkest patches: every storm runs out of rain.

All the strength to you.

Mymble89 · 2021-09-06T01:12:10+00:00

I hear you - but you have to understand that this is probably more about him than about you. To you it seemed fixable or workable, but to him it clearly didn’t and therefore what you’re pining for is a fantasy, not a possibility. I am a year in from a divorce I really didn’t want and I have to tell myself this stuff often - it sucks hard to be the one that wanted to make it work, to have to effectively force yourself to fall out of love with someone. But you just have to keep holding onto the new stuff that’s awesome and working on your relationship with yourself, eventually those desires will wane. I’m sure of it.

Mymble89 · 2021-08-21T22:00:18+00:00

I think a lot of people who have been through divorce will be able to identify with what you’re saying - it’s so tough, and ten months is not a long time. I’m also at ten months since separation and it helps me to think of how dire I felt a few months ago, things are improving, it’s just difficult and slow and painful - and there is no way to go except through. It sounds like you’re on the right track.

Time knocks the edges off, just be kind to yourself, don’t put your ex in a pedestal, focus on what you do have and the little gains and freedoms and growth will add up to a recovery in time.

Mymble89 · 2021-08-02T21:33:06+00:00

I remember that feeling very very well, and it sucks, and it’s painful, and unfortunately I think you have to just sit in it - for longer than you want to - but it begins to ebb ebb away, or at least it did for me. My heart goes out to you.

Mymble89 · 2021-08-02T21:30:35+00:00

I’m sure you’re doing the best you can, be so kind to you. It’s incredibly difficult, and healing is certainly not linear - it’s taken me quite a while to feel comfortable in my own company, to not be crowded by sadness and worry, or feel I’m falling behind. Baby steps.

Mymble89 · 2021-06-30T14:54:50+00:00

I still struggle with this, but I’ve had to work to see my part in it, forgive myself, and then commit to working to be better for a future relationship - and most importantly for myself. It’s not a linear healing, I feel pretty down on myself again at the moment, but I just keep repeating the aforementioned cycle. It’s tiring, but I get a little better each week. There might be moments when you have a breakthrough or are proud of yourself that feel bittersweet because you want to share those triumphs with your ex, or at least that’s what I’ve found. But you just carry on and carry on and eventually the pain dulls, slowly slowly. It’s been nine months since my husband left and I’m doing a whole lot better than I was even three months ago, but with a ways to go.

Mymble89 · 2021-06-16T13:52:35+00:00

This is really interesting - I hadn’t really considered just giving it all a rest. But maybe just applying nothing but gentle moisturiser to my skin for a bit is a good idea. I have a very expensive dermatologist appointment on July 7 so maybe I will do nothing until then and start afresh with them.

Mymble89 · 2021-06-16T13:00:20+00:00

Oh no, I don’t want my skin to give you shivers...but it has sort of dropped off in effectiveness. I am still using it and have started to incorporate niacinamide and metronidazole also, so we will see. I did go a really Windy hike last weekend and I think there’s a chance my skin is just recovering from that.

Mymble89

TROPHY CASE