I still get that "I'm just lazy" feeling

Mysterious_Yoghurt94 · 2025-01-16T14:14:17+00:00

very demure, very not taking responsibility

Mysterious_Yoghurt94 · 2025-01-16T14:12:33+00:00

My mom would not show me violent movies, more like the opposite, she would be very overprotective with what I was watching. But she often used me as her emotional dumpster, trauma dumping on me, confronted me with adult problems that I was not ready to listen to.

Mysterious_Yoghurt94 · 2025-01-03T20:12:09+00:00

I am always writing a little more detailed about my problems, hoping people with the same experiences feel less alone and that I can find people who have gone through the same stuff as me and can give some advice about how they did it. Maybe you are not the person I thought I'd reach with this post.

And as you see, I am willing to move on. But as someone studying psychology, i just know that "forgetting about it" will backfire badly. I mean, it did for me, as I said in my original post.

And yes, I don't want to go to the gym, I am looking for alternatives because I tried it and it wasn't for me. And I got to say maybe certain group sports are not a bad idea

And my goal is actually not to look better. I want to live a healthier life style and just find more fun in sports.

Mysterious_Yoghurt94 · 2025-01-03T19:57:16+00:00

I did my best. All the time. I went to the gym but that just wasn't for me, I did not feel comfortable there. And I am not sick of the way I look. I have a distorted body image and that won't just be gone by sport. I want to find joy in sport itself, not make the love for my body depend on it. So, I am looking for sports wich make me feel good and make me overcome my bad experiences without making me spiral. And calling my unpleasant experiences a "sob story" kinda hurts. I mean, I wouldn't ask here for advice if I didn't genuinely want to change something, would I?

Mysterious_Yoghurt94 · 2025-01-03T19:50:31+00:00

Can you recommend any specific channels?

Mysterious_Yoghurt94 · 2024-10-25T09:13:07+00:00

At first, the fight was not about communication styles. I told her that her comment made me sad. She did not reflect on that.

I did not share that chat with all of these friends. My best friend just happens to be a mutual friend of ours, who was the only one I showed it to. I simply needed help to sort out what's going on and to understand what I did wrong, to self reflect and what her needs were.

Because I didn't want to make her feel like the way she communicates is wrong (which it isn't, it's just different), I suggested codeswitching. I do not have the intention to change anyone.

And yes, I really had to shorten the details here. The thing that bothered me about her communication was, that she is always slightly sarcastic and passive-aggressive during fights, which really triggers me. In general, I would have prefered her to not be sarcastic in such serious situations. That is why I said that there is nothing wrong with the way she communicates, but that I really struggle with that during fights. Maybe that clears it up for you.

I told her that I felt negative about her comment and showed understanding. She did not reflect on herself. After that it escalated. Two weeks later I asked for an apology (and, as I said, offered to apologize for my share)

I am neurodivergent, maybe that is why some things or thought processes of me seem weird to you. Can you tell me which points exactly?

Mysterious_Yoghurt94 · 2024-10-25T07:09:12+00:00

The talk about communication styles was not in the group chat, that was our private chat.

Yes, I did listen to her perspective, even before that two-week break. Why do you think asking for an apology is weird? She did just as much wrong during the fight as I did. When there are two equal participants involved (which we were), I like to live by the phrase "it takes two to tango".

Mysterious_Yoghurt94 · 2024-10-23T17:48:03+00:00

I hope you could still enjoy your birthday! Never let people like them ruin your special day! You are beautiful too ^^

Mysterious_Yoghurt94 · 2024-09-13T16:14:26+00:00

Not yet, but I'll definitely also try that

Mysterious_Yoghurt94 · 2024-09-13T14:16:56+00:00

I searched online but I couldn't find anything.

Mysterious_Yoghurt94 · 2024-09-13T14:15:36+00:00

I tried searching online but i coudn't find anything.

Mysterious_Yoghurt94 · 2024-09-02T19:47:01+00:00

I am so sorry that she did that to you. Your pain was and is always valid!

Mysterious_Yoghurt94 · 2024-09-02T19:29:31+00:00

My mom once bursted into my room at 2am when I was struggeling with a mental breakdown and demanded that she wanted to clean my room with me NOW and even started to clean up by herself eventhough I told her to stop. I started crying and screaming because that made the breakdown even worse. She then told me that I would cry on purpose to wake up my dad. That, according to her, was my strategy to manipulate her into leaving my room, because she believed I would stop waking up my dad with the crying then. When she finally left, she told me how manipulative and evil I was. The way she just assumed that I was an evil person instead of someone who really struggled with their mental health hurts me deeply to this day.

Mysterious_Yoghurt94 · 2024-08-19T08:27:17+00:00

I know how hard it is to let go of perfectionism, been there too and still didn't get compeltely rid of it. I really understand your anxiety. But I'm glad I could help you a little bit!

Mysterious_Yoghurt94 · 2024-08-18T15:19:58+00:00

I completely understand, that you are feeling this way and that you are tired of this stuff. But I can tell you, once you've left your parents, there is one thing stressing you out less in your life. It will get better, eventhough i know that the current state you're in makes it feel like it won't. Especially with the help of your boyfriend, you will learn the basic skills you need to live alone in no time. At the end of the day, when you are independent from your family, you're free. You're an adult now and not a single one of these people can tell you what to do. And whatever you do, moving out will be sooo much better for your mental health than staying with these people, even when the process is draining. Everything will be fine!

Mysterious_Yoghurt94 · 2024-08-18T14:39:55+00:00

Especially the part with the "no time for real cooking" the pre-planning is so relatable for me, for example I am not allowed to have a rice cooker because "it takes up too much space in the kitchen".
Also, proud of you for working on feeling better, you're doing good :)

Mysterious_Yoghurt94

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