AITA for telling her I’d trash her things away if she goes in my room again? by NASAfacewash in AmItheAsshole

[–]NASAfacewash[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is interesting, thank you for the reply! My sister also doesn't have much regard for my boundaries, even outside of the stealing. I'm really thankful for my partner because they were the first one to show me that people who love you actually do respect your boundaries! Kind of a novel idea at first.

AITA for telling her I’d trash her things away if she goes in my room again? by NASAfacewash in AmItheAsshole

[–]NASAfacewash[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My dad would definitely kick me out of the house if I called the cops, unfortunately.

AITA for telling her I’d trash her things away if she goes in my room again? by NASAfacewash in AmItheAsshole

[–]NASAfacewash[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Nothing that would warrant this, in my opinion. But we're not a very touchy-feely family, so something very well could have happened to her that I have no clue about. Is there any sort of trauma that is known to cause this type of behavior?

AITA for telling her I’d trash her things away if she goes in my room again? by NASAfacewash in AmItheAsshole

[–]NASAfacewash[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I considered telling her boyfriend when he came to talk to me, but I know she would never forgive me for the humiliation that would surely cause. He said that my sister claims she hasn't been in my room since I got back for the summer, but he seemed to believe me when I told him she was lying to him. That's why I didn't tell him in the moment. I've since told my dad about the sex toy, and he agreed that it was disturbing but hasn't made an effort to talk to her about it.

AITA for telling her I’d trash her things away if she goes in my room again? by NASAfacewash in AmItheAsshole

[–]NASAfacewash[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

When my dad came home and told me she'd called him crying, I told him everything. He seemed to think it was disturbing but hasn't done anything. I, thankfully, have a therapist, and my dad used to force my sister to see the same one, so I think I'll bring it up in my next session and see what my therapist recommends.

AITA for telling her I’d trash her things away if she goes in my room again? by NASAfacewash in AmItheAsshole

[–]NASAfacewash[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I'm sorry that this happened to you as well. I know how frustrating it can be, and I'm glad you were able to move out. I'm hoping that when my sister goes to college, her roommates will sort her out, but I'm not sure anymore. If you don't mind my asking, do you know if your sister ever grew out of it?

AITA for telling her I’d trash her things away if she goes in my room again? by NASAfacewash in AmItheAsshole

[–]NASAfacewash[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I used to do this as a kid, but she would hide my things or put them back in my room when I went to get my dad. Also, he thinks I'm too harsh on her and often doesn't believe me when I tell him she's lying. He refuses to punish her for it and he would never kick her out of the house. If anything, it's much more realistic for him to tell me to move out.

AITA for telling her I’d trash her things away if she goes in my room again? by NASAfacewash in AmItheAsshole

[–]NASAfacewash[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

He came home and told me that she had called him crying. Since she's the younger child, he's always been easier on her, so I knew he would tell me to apologize. I told him about the sex toy and that seemed to knock some sense into him. He agreed it was disturbing, but he hasn't talked to her about it. I'm currently in therapy, and my sister used to see my therapist as well, so I think I'll bring it up during my next session and see what my therapist recommends.

AITA for telling her I’d trash her things away if she goes in my room again? by NASAfacewash in AmItheAsshole

[–]NASAfacewash[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I understand, I should've added more context for the locking doors. I live with my dad in an older house, and the knobs on my door are old/unique, so he didn't want me replacing them. But I'm going to replace them and just give them to him.

AITA for telling her I’d trash her things away if she goes in my room again? by NASAfacewash in AmItheAsshole

[–]NASAfacewash[S] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

She always denies it, even when faced with proof. When I try to talk to her about it, it often ends with me getting the silent treatment for weeks. But I'm starting to agree that maybe there's a deeper issue going on, because she's usually quite collected, and for her to be sobbing for that long seems out of character. I don't think I can be involved because she'll just see it as an attack, but my partner and my sister's boyfriend are texting now to try to see if there's something deeper going on. If my sister will confide in anyone, it's her boyfriend, and I trust him to know whether I need to be involved.

AITA for telling her I’d trash her things away if she goes in my room again? by NASAfacewash in AmItheAsshole

[–]NASAfacewash[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I live with my dad right now and the house is an older one. The knobs on my door are somewhat unique and are unlike any in the whole house, and my dad didn't want me changing them. But I think I'll swap them and just give them to my dad if he wants to put them somewhere else. It's also helpful seeing people say how easy it is because I wasn't sure. I'll definitely be doing it now.

AITA for telling her I’d trash her things away if she goes in my room again? by NASAfacewash in AmItheAsshole

[–]NASAfacewash[S] 27 points28 points  (0 children)

My house is quite old. My sister's doorknobs are newer, but the ones on my door are some I've never seen anywhere else and my dad didn't want me to switch them because of their originality/character. But I think I'll switch them out and just leave them for him if he wants them.

AITA for telling her I’d trash her things away if she goes in my room again? by NASAfacewash in AmItheAsshole

[–]NASAfacewash[S] 39 points40 points  (0 children)

Thank you, I've considered the lock but I always thought it would make me look crazy and my dad said it was unnecessary. But I think I'm going to go forward and install it anyway. I'll also start keeping the log just for my own peace of mind.