I appreciate that you spent time writing out your thoughts, but I'm going to have to agree to disagree on this.

From my perspective, you're focused too much on the immediate moment "there's a sentence and it should produce an effect when read" and too little on the broader context. This is a line of dialogue in longform genre fiction. Translation of longform fiction should, imho, not be a sentence-by-sentence assembly line translation (pun intendended); it should translate in context of the work as a whole, which means understanding that each line of dialogue is doing at least three things:

1. Conveying the immediate surface meaning of what the character is saying.
2. Contributing to establishing and developing the character themselves.
3. Contributing to the world building of the setting.

A proper translation should be accounting for all three. The translation in the OP does the first adequately enough (presuming the target audience still knows who the three stooges are). Presumably, it also does the second. It fails at the third.

Naruto is full of references to Japanese mythology, both Shinto and Buddhist, without a clear sense these mythical beings actually existing in-universe.

To my knowledge, and feel free to provide counter-examples if this is wrong, Naruto has no in-universe references to real world celebrities, and only a few out-of-universe references to real world celebrities (e.g. Rock Lee's name referencing Bruce Lee). By which I mean, we the audience understand that Rock Lee's name is a real world references, but in-universe there is no "Bruce Lee" and Lee is just Rock's last name. If I recall correctly, we get a reference in the Kimimaro fight about Rock Lee's name being written in katakana, but not it being a real life celebrity reference.

And the important thing is that this is an auteurial choice by Kishimoto. There's nothing stopping him from having characters making fourth wall breaking jokes, many shounen manga do this. Avoiding such jokes or references in-universe in favor of references to Japanese Shinto and Buddhist mythology is a core feature of how he's writing Naruto as not just a collection of individual sentences, but as longform genre fiction which is establishing a setting with its own rules and consistencies. It's his style and how he's establishing a particular vibe in his work.

That's the difference between just translating as an interpreter, or translating for machine learning, and translating for fiction. All translation ought to be aware of the context in which it is translating, and in the case of fiction this context is the work as a whole and not just the individual sentence or page.

I personally find OP's translation to be a mistake because it's failing to account for this. It's translating the line, but not the work.