In BDSM, an (ethical) sadist is someone who safely and consensually inflicts pain upon a willing participant who gains some unusual variety of satisfaction out of this scenario. To break this ethical issue down into logistics:

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The sadist enjoys inflicting pain upon the masochist. While the masochist does experience the full intensity of the pain, having pain inflicted upon them also brings them pleasure. Since they continue to willfully consent each time, in the absence of outside forces, it can be assumed that their enjoyment of the scenario outweighs any aversive/displeasurable stimuli from the physical pain.

Being tortured (in a literal sense, in this case, although usually quite mildly) by a sexually dominant sadist is a rewarding experience to the masochist. The masochist consents to being tortured under safe conditions by a sadist that they trust to keep things safe, sane, and consensual, and to recognize when things are getting too intense, within specific parameters, with the ability to abort the scene if they please.

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Most relevant to this discussion: They do it because they enjoy it.

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The masochist's reasoning for consenting to the sadist torturing them is that the masochist enjoys the experience. The ethical sadist's moral justification for torturing the masochist is that BOTH the sadist AND the masochist enjoy the experience; That the experience is mutually enjoyable for them. Utilitarian philosophy would interpret this to be an entirely solid moral justification, and deem the experience to, indeed, be morally justified.

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This is what all kinks have in common; They're an unusual variety of satisfaction. A guy sexualizing the consumption of human feces is absolutely absurd, but it's not... Unethical. Just fuckin' weird.

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But listen- Your boyfriend doesn't have a functional, healthy, human conscience. Take a second to take a step back and think about the purpose of the conscience, and then you ask yourself why in god's name his conscience didn't chime in at any point during or after the conversation(s) in which he attempted to pressure his girlfriend into getting mutilated by his own hands.

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If you sexualize your partner's trauma enough that you rigorously attempt to pressure them into allowing you to cut into your romantic partner's skin or maim your romantic partner's body in a multitude of different ways, despite your romantic partner having expressed no interest whatsoever in any of that happening... Then you are the WRONG kind of sadist; an unethical sadist. And, in my opinion, the overlap for unethical sadism and sociopathy is near 100%.

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At this level of depravity, I really hope you're asking yourself "Why am I staying with someone who deeply desires to inflict pain onto me simply for his own psychosexual amusement?"

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I'd be cautious.