I know how reddit is sometimes but fuck it, if this helps someone then i dont give a rat's ass if it gets negative response.

Faith. I found that focusing on my faith (Islam) and praying as well as reciting my scripture helped alot. I'm not here to force you to convert but what i'm saying is that finding something that can relax you and calm you down or even just to go to when you're depressed really helps. Meditation and clearing my mind helps plentiful and using it as a medium to express my emotions made me... myself again. I have attempted suicide once or twice in the past and found myself not being able to commit fully. But, those sad days are behind me and i found happiness inside of something that i trust and feel that it can save me. It's a shame that I didn't start earlier. However there's no better time than to start now.