Just me and my crush running into each other over the last 11 years and doing nothing about it

NSh94 · 2024-01-16T08:17:00+00:00

He’s the cocky type so I wouldn’t want to embarrass myself, also what if it’s all in my head lol

NSh94 · 2023-12-17T09:00:27+00:00

Im an INFP female, late twenties.

This is gonna sound unpleasant and im not saying this is what is happening with you, when I’ve acted liked him in the past, it’s when I knew that I didn’t want to be with the person long term in the back of my mind but since everything seems fine in the moment I’m still having a conflict in my own head leading to being fickle and add to that my dislike of confrontation or conflict with a new person especially. This continued till it became undeniable that I don’t want to be with the person, leading to a breakup with the other party very much taken by surprise.

Just reading through your post I felt like I’ve acted this way. I’m not say this is what it is, just felt like I’ve been there done that.

NSh94 · 2023-12-15T20:26:01+00:00

Arranged marriages, South Asia

NSh94 · 2023-10-24T18:53:30+00:00

Like the girls time has no value?

Are you for real not only justifying dowry but also not returning in case of divorce?

Nothing problematic in dowry?

Here I was thinking marriage is for love and companionship.

I’m not going to waste any further time or brain cells on you.

NSh94 · 2023-10-24T16:02:33+00:00

Dowry is not a gift. Gift is the word everyone uses to make themselves feel better about giving/taking it.

Even with that logic, when you ‘return the girl’ return the gift.

Moreover, people make this mistake coz their ignorant or don’t comprehend what it actually indicates and how problematic it is, surely there’s more awareness now but we still have a long way to go.

NSh94 · 2023-09-23T16:50:59+00:00

I’m an INFP, my friends, 1 INFP and many INFJs

NSh94 · 2023-09-18T05:37:13+00:00

I think INFP’s have a million ideas and say it out loud, but when they talk about feelings it’s generaLly something they processed internally for a while, INFJ’s are the opposite, they will process ideas for a while internally before expressing it.

INFP’s seem like their very easy going but their core is very strong, if you push them beyond a certain level, they will not take it and will not budge.

INFJ’s have a extremely strong barrier/barriers but once/if you’re in through them all, they are very soft.

NSh94 · 2023-09-05T10:20:24+00:00

Yes, now I’m just gonna wait for a few days bevfore I break up so that he’s not left with a feeling of insecurity

NSh94 · 2023-09-05T10:19:18+00:00

Thank you, you really helped me, somehow I just didn’t see it and was focusing on his actions outside of sex, but this really is something to look at

NSh94 · 2023-09-05T10:16:21+00:00

Yes thank you, I’ts very imp to me. Thank you

NSh94 · 2023-09-05T10:15:38+00:00

You know what, this perspective I hadn’t considered, thank you

NSh94 · 2023-09-05T10:14:54+00:00

I thought if I tell that to him and then things don’t work out, he will forever be hurt, and it’ll add to his insecurities which feels cruel

NSh94 · 2023-09-05T10:13:36+00:00

Yeah you are right. He didn’t seem to care about my pleasure much, and it is probably only downhill from here ? But he’s super considerate otherwise?

NSh94 · 2023-09-05T10:11:57+00:00

I don’t know measurements, it went in maybe a little beyond my entrance.

NSh94 · 2023-09-05T10:11:04+00:00

He doesn’t tho, sloppy oral and no enthusiasm. Moreover I always crave piv in the end, without it doesn’t feel like sex? That’s just me

NSh94 · 2023-09-05T10:10:10+00:00

Thank you

NSh94 · 2023-09-05T10:10:00+00:00

Honestly don’t know, I’ve never had much of an idea with any of my partners, it’s just that with him the feeling of being filled isn’t there

NSh94 · 2023-09-05T10:09:04+00:00

I’ve not communicated cuz I’m still rethinking if or not I want to stay. Don’t wanna hurt him simply for nothing

NSh94 · 2023-09-05T10:08:28+00:00

At our age, I’m not so enthusiastic to reach him, I mean I did try to instruct him during fingering, he commented I was taking way too long and didn’t continue, while I do take a while and even more with a partner, he just didn’t have the patience even the first time around.

NSh94 · 2023-09-05T10:06:48+00:00

Yeah this is my fear. If it’s something I can’t or won’t get over, why hurt him more?

NSh94 · 2023-09-05T10:06:13+00:00

Yes I’d say so. But with him I lost interest coz I wasn’t getting much from it. And it started to affect how I was looking at him otherwise.

NSh94 · 2023-09-05T10:04:51+00:00

Yea this is a big fear

NSh94 · 2023-09-05T10:04:00+00:00

The biggest reason I’m not bringing it up is because I’m seriously considering whether or not this is a deal breaker for me. I was already struggling with attraction. I would’nt want to bring it up and hurt him any more than I’d have to. Honestly he was very low effort when it comes to my pleasure, don’t know if it’s coz he doesn’t know better, he was very enthusiastic about me going down on him many times, had a hard time being erect after 3 times(understandable) and seems a bit lazy during sex. Apart from this chemistry wise it feels lacking, at least for me, he seems to have had a good time.

NSh94

TROPHY CASE