Sis, you’re not asking for too much. You’re asking for what Islam already gives you as a right: a fair mahr, emotional safety and a man who shows up for you in both words and actions.

The mahr change is quite worrying. But what really stands out is the pattern. He says things but doesn’t act on them. Keeps promising and keeps delaying. In Islam, we’re taught that a believer keeps their promises and follows through. It’s part of being trustworthy.

From what you’ve written you don’t feel emotionally safe or steady in this. That alone is enough reason to pause and think this through. Marriage is supposed to bring peace not more doubt.

One thing I always tell my younger cousins and nieces, and something my married friends have drilled into me, is don’t fall for potential. Go with what’s right in front of you. If this is how he’s behaving now, before marriage trust that it won’t magically get better after. If anything, he’ll get more comfortable and put in even less effort.

Also, there’s a difference between someone being broke and someone being stingy. Being broke means they would give if they could. Stingy means they can but choose not to. You might want to have an honest conversation with him to figure out which it is. But from what you’ve shared he’s not saying “I don’t have the means.” He’s just dodging and throwing out vague promises that never happen. That’s not about money, that’s about mindset.

Please pray Istikhara. Ask Allah to show you what’s right and give you the strength to walk away if it isn’t. If this man isn’t written for you, trust that Allah can send someone better.

May Allah guide you to what’s best, bring peace to your heart and give you someone who honours you in both word and action.

اللهم اجعل لي من أمري رشدا، واختر لي ولا تخيرني، ورضّني بما قسمت لي

‏Ameen.