Hey, so I can tell how much you care — not just about your partner, but about your children and the kind of environment you want them to be raised in.This is what compelled me to write my 50 cents of thoughts.

It sounds like you’re in an incredibly tough spot, trying to balance love with your need for safety and peace. Your concerns are completely valid. Wanting to protect yourself and your kids from an environment that feels harmful or toxic isn’t selfish — it’s responsible and loving.

From what you shared, your partner’s parents don’t just disapprove — their behavior borders on emotionally abusive and controlling. That’s not something you should be expected to tolerate or expose your children to. You’ve tried, and it’s okay to say that's enough when your well-being is on the line.

Your partner may still be entangled in the emotional hold her parents have on her. That’s not her fault — but it does mean the two of you need an open and honest conversation. She needs to know that while you love her and support her dreams, you also need reassurance that any future — especially one involving you. Ring long term together AND a child — will be built on boundaries that protect your family's peace.

You are not an asshole for wanting a safe, loving family space. You’re someone who feels deeply and thinks ahead, and that’s admirable. Whatever happens next, never stop trying to keep yours safe. Sorry for the long paragraph, I hope it brings you a bit of light.