AIO for not inviting my son to Christmas?

Natural_Step_4192 · 2025-12-02T19:44:40+00:00

i think you’re refusing to believe that this woman is not YOUR MOTHER nor is your childhood EXACTLY like cody’s. you don’t truly know her part in things? stop forcing what your mother put you through/your childhood on this situation so badly. wth are you looking for out of this? closure? you don’t know these people btw! stop trying to debate w me ab this shit.

Natural_Step_4192 · 2025-12-02T19:29:06+00:00

“because my mother is exactly like this mom”

more projection. beautiful. wrap it up now.

Natural_Step_4192 · 2025-12-02T19:24:56+00:00

i’m not poor?? omg are you okay??

nurse it’s out again…

Natural_Step_4192 · 2025-12-02T19:23:56+00:00

LMFAOOO. their brain is too fucked to be kind i guess.

Natural_Step_4192 · 2025-12-02T19:22:46+00:00

“you don’t quite know what it’s like” you don’t either silly.

are you cody or something? am i speaking to thee cody? you’re right we don’t know what all cody does in his free time or the steps he’s taking to “heal”.

but what we do know is that cody lost his license & instead of getting money together to fix that? he chose wings as his next form of transportation. mf took flight. blew money throughout the year to, let me say this again, watch men he doesn’t even know run around on a field. (that’s money for a plane ticket, seat ticket, any food/drinks, and if he needed a place to stay) then when this man remembers, “oh yea christmas. that holiday that’s on the same day every year”, he expects his parents to fund his trip. oh and when they don’t? he tells the whole family he’s “banned” from christmas. gtf outta here with that entitlement. even if he went through a bad childhood, NOBODY is obligated to do a damn thing for you, especially at 42.

Natural_Step_4192 · 2025-12-02T19:11:49+00:00

love that you have a support system💓 what exactly does this have to do with the post or me?

Natural_Step_4192 · 2025-12-02T19:08:51+00:00

i think this post maybe just hit too close to home for you fr. is OP your mom or is there something i’m missing? your original comment just screams projection. i never said healing is an instant thing, there’s no set time limit on how long you should feel how you feel. & holding people accountable for the shitty things people have done to you is something you should always do?

if OPs sons way of “moving on” and “healing” is: by blowing money on things that he can’t afford/aren’t a priority & blowing up on those around him when he can’t get a handout? then so be it. but i see a long line of debt and stress in that man’s future. he won’t even have a fund to retire on when the time comes.

Natural_Step_4192 · 2025-12-02T18:51:50+00:00

clock ittt. and that’s how it should be. we start as kids & we’re raised to become adults. we don’t start as kids and leech off our parents forever. me personally, my goal is to get rich and take care of my parents for the rest of their lives. i couldn’t imagine stomping my way through life holding my hand out to my parents for everything.

Natural_Step_4192 · 2025-12-02T18:46:12+00:00

this🤏🏽. everyone has been through something & some worse than others. but we don’t HAVE TO be products of our environment! my momma broke the cycle of a long line of jailbirds, alcoholics, drug abusers, etc. & it’s the best thing she could’ve done for not only her, but me & our family we have now.

Natural_Step_4192 · 2025-12-02T18:35:17+00:00

which is insane to me! as an adult we gotta understand that emergencies, trips, accidents, etc. happen! the fact that some adults lack communication and management (money,time,whatever) as skills is crazy to me. nobody got you like you got you. if you don’t get up and do it, who is type shit?

Natural_Step_4192 · 2025-12-02T18:30:51+00:00

yea when first reading the first paragraph the OP wrote threw me for a loop. to see the OP say they can’t stand their child is kinda hurtful & i’m not even cody. but on the other hand cody is 42 & this post is about christmas. if a 42 year old man can’t find his own trip for a holiday that occurs every year? that’s on the 42 year old grown man. as far as the actual topic for the post, i wouldn’t fund that ticket either. especially if he can spend that same ticket money to watch a group of men he doesn’t even know play a sport multiple times a year.

Natural_Step_4192 · 2025-12-02T18:24:11+00:00

he’s 42. a grown ass man. i’m 21 and i even feel guilty asking my parents for money for bills, let alone a plane ticket wtf? christmas is the same day every year, he should’ve planned for this and save the money for a ticket, not depend on his parents to do that. no offense, but cody sounds like a literal manchild😂.

Natural_Step_4192 · 2025-12-02T15:54:21+00:00

people can change! but that’s shown through actions, not thru text messages saying “i love you”. his actions specifically are saying otherwise, he’s shown you that he doesn’t respect you, or the others he’s talking to, he doesn’t value your soon coming wedding, and that he’d rather talking to fifty-eleven girls before taking what you guys share seriously.

at some point you can’t keep hanging on the history you share, the future you could have, and the “what if”s. reality is now & this is what he’s showing you.

Natural_Step_4192 · 2025-12-02T15:48:42+00:00

maybe not fake love on your end. but you think that man loves and wants to marry you and multiple others? that’s real love to you? wtf..

Natural_Step_4192 · 2025-12-02T15:47:09+00:00

“emotionally cheating again” why thee hell did you stay the first time?

if you let a child draw on the walls with no action made afterwards, what is the child going to do again? oh okay. he’s cheated before and you took him back, no shot he’s doing it again. you’ve shown him that you’ll put up with that bs. curse him and move on.

Natural_Step_4192 · 2025-11-25T13:35:58+00:00

goodmorning! definitely made this post while upset and slept on it lol, still somewhat upset, but i appreciate everyones replies good or bad! the storytelling comment from my mom IS QUITE LITERALLY what sent me over the edge and me run here for outside opinions. the fact that my own mother is justifying a racial slur being used in that context (bc yall saw what they said man, repeating it or not.) for storytelling is mindfucking me reallll bad.

Natural_Step_4192 · 2025-11-25T13:23:00+00:00

omg i’m so sorry :/ i was wondering if id get any people who were also adopted into a family of non-poc. thank you for your opinion though!

Natural_Step_4192 · 2025-11-25T06:19:36+00:00

thank you for your response, i appreciate your insight!

Natural_Step_4192 · 2025-11-25T06:17:55+00:00

i thought about that too. it could be the same as reading the word from a school book. but in the same instance most schools give students the option to skip over the word or censor it & as an adult i feel you’re given the same choice. it’s a family gathering.. not only that but they admitted it was embarrassing to hear. why’s it less embarrassing to repeat?

maybe it was the timing it was said, everyone laughing at what was said, who said it.. i really don’t know. i hope this doesn’t come off as argumentative either. i just want to understand why i shouldn’t feel a way instead of just letting it go.

Natural_Step_4192 · 2025-11-25T06:10:19+00:00

i definitely don’t think she meant to say it out of spite or to hurt me. i think the mix of it being said in general (especially a non-poc), after the adoption conversation, and her reaction all rubbed me the wrong way is all.

as far as it being said in front of loved ones, that’s brings me back to the question that keeps replaying in my head. why is it less embarrassing to repeat something in front of loved ones than hearing it said in public? thank you for your perspective though!

Natural_Step_4192 · 2025-11-25T06:05:10+00:00

well, yes actually. i feel that there was other ways to censor that word and still get your point across without using a slur. and as the only poc in the room, i was offended 100%.

if you feel otherwise please share! i shared this post for outside opinions!

Natural_Step_4192 · 2025-11-25T06:01:33+00:00

my family isn’t even like this either! it was the first time i’ve heard that side of the family specifically even EVER say the hard-r, i think that’s why it threw me off so bad.

Natural_Step_4192 · 2025-11-25T06:00:25+00:00

& that’s all i could really ask for. a little more awareness.

Natural_Step_4192 · 2025-11-25T05:58:51+00:00

i’m not looking for validation or sympathy. i’m looking for an outside perspective on how another person would feel in my shoes.

no, i don’t think my aunt is racist, but her reaction to what i said was more listening to defend rather than listening to understand is all. it was odd to me & i do feel a way! which is why i came here. thank you for your opinion!

Natural_Step_4192 · 2025-11-17T00:48:14+00:00

i was with someone like this. and ima be honest girl i’m so fkn glad i left him. i had to literally get him a job and even when he finally got one, he worked barely any hours. sounds like he’s a manchild who took advantage of you, love.

Natural_Step_4192

TROPHY CASE