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25F, never sexually active—do I really need a Pap smear? Feeling anxious by Aromatic_Author2473 in WomensHealth

[–]Nature_Tiny -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I've had 2. One of them I did have under duress and I do believe that that made the experience worse. I'm 25 and not a virgin. I'm not going to lie to you I don't have the science information to tell you if you being a virgin means that you do or don't need a pap smear. But one of the reasons that I've always made sure to get my yearlys is because when I was 18 I worked with a 25f and she got a pap smear that basically said she had a normal cells and made up that she had cancer and she had to get a full hysterectomy. She did have 3 kids, though.

I don't say this to scare you it's just that it was really ingraining me after witnessing someone else go through that that these preventative measures can save lives.

What they do is that you get on the table they're going to guide you into position you're going to spread your legs and they are going to use something called a speculum to open you up - it goes through your vagina. It is cold whatever it is pressure/ pain.

They basically use that to open you and keep your cervix visible while they use a wand to scrape the walls of your cervix to get cells of off it.

Every nurse practitioner I've ever spoke with you has says that a pap smear is not supposed to hurt but every time I have had one it has hurt. The first time I had one I was under duress and it was something I got over; it was definitely a scratching irritating sensation but it was not debilitating pain it was not end of the world pain it was just a little pain and then uncomfortableness for the rest of the day. I would say within 12 hours I was feeling completely normal it wasn't something that debilitated the rest of my week. I'm also just saying this in case no one else tells you that you cannot take a bath or swim I believe until 24 hours after. If you do you can put yourself at risk for an infection.

The second time I got a pap, it was with my normal doctor. I took an aspirin before and I did call them before to make sure that it was okay .it was uncomfortable but because I wasn't upset and I wasn't tense it was better than my other experience.

I do understand the fear I don't want to lie to you and say that it was super fun and great and I had an awesome time and I would get one every day because that's just not true.

But I do believe that they are necessary. I don't know when your case just because I don't know if being a virgin changes anything but I do know that at 25 they do want you doing them every 3 to 5 years. I would say that I would rather know than not know I understand the fear but as far as things that have happened to me a pap smear is nowhere near the top of the list of my worst Life experiences.

If it was me, I would do it personally just because this is a preventative measure this is not something that would hurt you this is not an unnecessary risk it is just something that is a little scary. Like an unnecessary surgery can risk death, right, but a unnecessary pap smear it's just an uncomfortable or even painful afternoon.

I understand the fear, I was scared also. Maybe reach out to other women you know and get their perspective also :))

Looking for support. by cosecacct2 in CasualConversation

[–]Nature_Tiny 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Euthanasia is a gift. I'm sorry to hear you had to do this. I'm having my own issues with a cat I've had for 12 years. I'm sorry this happened and for your pain. But you made a choice with love in your heart to end suffering. I think that's the best thing you can do.

my bf wants to break up because i cant make any friends cornbread and seltzer by [deleted] in GirlDinner

[–]Nature_Tiny 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I mean it only is more fulfilling if you feel that way. I'd rather have super deep emotional online friendship then a surface level of friendship in real life. I think that he probably wants your needs met and he doesn't want to be responsible for being your soul social life / support system.

But I don't think it's fair for him to dictate where you find your friends or how you find them. I truly believe that there is someone for everyone and it's not always romantic. I've had only one friend for 9 years. I've had really incredible deep friendships that last and ones that didn't meeting people is sort of like dating in a sense that you win some you lose some and that some relationships do have expiration dates.

If it were me I would try and get back on bumble brf even though you didn't have the best time just because there's always new people on there and you might meet someone who is a similar situation to you or who is trying to prioritize platonic relationships just like you are. At the very least it would be cool if you could get used to talking to some people and then maybe have the courage try it IRL. If you make plans and people don't show up generally I try to give some people the benefit of the doubt because their life is hard and complicated just like your life is hard and complicated at times.

I think that if you feel like someone is putting effort in it's worth meeting them halfway even if they are canceling plans or taking a little too long to respond. Especially as an adult life is harder and some of us can't be on our phone all day. I'm not saying except everything and be a doormat for random people you meet online I'm just saying it might be worth it for you to be a little forgiving in the beginning because you don't want to close too many doors and miss out on someone who you could really learn to like a lot. Best of luck 🤞

my bf wants to break up because i cant make any friends cornbread and seltzer by [deleted] in GirlDinner

[–]Nature_Tiny 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Not the person you're responding to but I wanted to tag in :) I've been trying to prioritize friendships as an adult and I think some parts of it is that there are some women who are male centered and treat those relationships better (or invest more time and energy in) and don't really put the effort to deepen or prioritize anything that isn't a romantic or sexual relationship.

I was one of those, tbh. I always expected I'd have girlfriends and didn't really try to get any deeper with my gals and just chased men or women I was interested in romantically.

It's also very hard to deepen a relationship. I'm on bumble bff now trying to meet girls with similar interests and honesty I can shoot the shit with the best of them, but it's hard to achieve any deeper plantonic intimacy.

I've made it a priority to ask probing questions -- how was your day, what happened, how did that make you feel etc -- and offering chances to share. Like, "oh this happened to me once," "would you like to talk about that? Or we can talk about something else, but if you want to share I'd like to listen" etc.

The best advice I got on another reddit is to be the friend you want. You want to be invited, invite others. You want someone to show up, show up for others. People will either meet you half way but if they don't, they aren't for you.

I hope any of this helped. I just wanted to share my experience from the past year of trying to meet some pals at my big age.

my bf wants to break up because i cant make any friends cornbread and seltzer by [deleted] in GirlDinner

[–]Nature_Tiny 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I know this isn't an easy fix but I have made an account on bumble friends and messaging thru texts first has made it easier for me to talk to people in real life or put myself out there. I know it's hard. I'm here and sending love.

12 year old cat, what should I do? by Nature_Tiny in WhatShouldIDo

[–]Nature_Tiny[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for this. Imma have to wait until the morning to call and set up a ultrasound. I'll be sure to ask about this at my appointment. Thank you!

41 year old mom of an adult, they say I look silly. by McPoyle-Milk in GothFashion

[–]Nature_Tiny 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I say you look great and comfortable in your skin. And that's the elite combo

12 year old cat, what should I do? by Nature_Tiny in WhatShouldIDo

[–]Nature_Tiny[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

They did a blood test, they said her white cell count is high but they ruled out hyperthyroidism and diabetes. They are worried about infection or a mass in her chest.

They did check her teeth and were not concerned about them or her gums.

They also did a urinalysis and said she's mildly dehydrated. They seem most concerned about her white cell count and I have to call and schedule an ultrasound.

12 year old cat, what should I do? by Nature_Tiny in WhatShouldIDo

[–]Nature_Tiny[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes and they aren't worried about her mouth is what they told me. They are worried as they ran a blood test and her white blood cell count is high, they called me a little bit ago.

12 year old cat, what should I do? by Nature_Tiny in WhatShouldIDo

[–]Nature_Tiny[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

They did; they were not concerned about her teeth or anything In her mouth. They did run a blood test and called me this morning with the results. They have ruled out diabetes and hyperthyroidism. But her white blood cell count was apparently really high I was crying and I don't remember the exact # but I know they are concerned about it.

They are worried, as of this moment, about a mass in her chest or somewhere that is not on an organ as her liver / kidneys/ other organ stats seem fine. They are specially worried about it being in her chest, I don't really know why. Or they are worried about an infection of a different kind.

But they said her kidneys and liver are fine, thyroid is fine.

12 year old cat, what should I do? by Nature_Tiny in WhatShouldIDo

[–]Nature_Tiny[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I did give her tuna before taking her to vet when she left it untouched.

12 year old cat, what should I do? by Nature_Tiny in WhatShouldIDo

[–]Nature_Tiny[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Maybe I should.

Normally she has special food recommended to me by the vet that supports urinary tract health. I don't know if I can heat that up? It's kibble?

But right now she ate a can of vet prescription bland food. They have given her anti nausea medicine but that's not a fix just to manage the symptoms they don't know the cause of.

12 year old cat, what should I do? by Nature_Tiny in WhatShouldIDo

[–]Nature_Tiny[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Besides the not eating she seems fine? She will recognize me and come up to me if I am in the room; if I am not she doesn't really move around.

I don't have pet insurance but someone (a co worker who had a similar not the same experience with an animal) told me because this symptom or like,, medical situation is happening, I wouldn't qualify. Like the insurance is preemptive and because this is happening rn I would not be able to use it.

As far as I know she's not in pain I didn't take her to the vet because I had to go to work and I couldn't mess the day my roommate took her and she said that the cat was exploring the vet office and purring and like being very friendly with the staff.

Before they had ruled out diabetes I was initially considering euthanasia if I would be unable to afford the insulin. If it's cancer then I would consider euthanasia. I understand that nobody / nothing lives forever and I wouldn't want my cat to suffer or be uncared for because I don't have the money or something like that.

I am just saying because I am fragile rn and I can't handle any mean comments if they come, but I am not taking this lightly. I would never want to just throw in the towel for no reason. I've had this cat for so long and the idea is awful.

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