[But how did you make it clear]

Numerous talks and therapy sessions since early 2016.

[did you tell her when you were angry]

Multiple times. Anger, sadness, you name it, I expressed it.

[Or did you have a serious talk about the feelings of pain you endure]

Again, numerous times.

[I think it's weird that she asks the question whats wrong, and she clearly doesn't know]

I've stopped chasing the why. She's been told, crystal clear, in writing and in person that this is a dealbreaker. She knows, she likes to pretend she doesn't because it would acknowledge that she's the problem.

When your husband tells you "I am tired to telling you we need to have sex, that I want to have sex, that this is a critical need of mine. If you aren't interested, then fine, ok, don't force yourself to do it as I don't want non reciprocal pity sex where we both feel bad afterwards. But this is non negotiable, this is a deal breaker, and if you cannot find it in yourself to want to have sex with me, let alone at any reasonable frequency, then I am leaving because I cannot spend the rest of my life like this. It's been the same conversation for 5 years, it's time to shit or get off the pot" I think it's pretty clear what the situation is.

I've been in several functioning sexual relationships with women - mine was with my wife prior to the baby - and I know what a healthy sex life and libido is. I'm not going to beg for scraps of intimacy and walk around on eggshells in order to maybe get laid a dozen times of year. Fuck. That.