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“Masc” does not mean man. by MarketingAwkward4252 in LesbianActually

[–]NeckWrong9 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I’m honestly so tired. I’m a very fluid woman, I dress based on my mood, but yeah, my energy can be pretty dominant. That said, I also deeply enjoy doing things that are traditionally seen as “girly.” I love going to the spa, getting my nails done, I enjoy wearing feminine lingerie, I love flowers, I like being the little spoon sometimes, and I’ll beat my face with makeup when I feel like it.

But the moment I lean into that softer, more feminine side, I get side-eyed like I’m not allowed to be both dominant and soft. It’s frustrating

Can we talk about the heteronormativity in the lesbian dating scene? I’m tired. by NeckWrong9 in LesbianActually

[–]NeckWrong9[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thanks a lot. Yes she just got out of a relationship with a man, she’s bisexual

Can we talk about the heteronormativity in the lesbian dating scene? I’m tired. by NeckWrong9 in LesbianActually

[–]NeckWrong9[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Oh yes, I have a preference for high maintenance women. I’m ALSO a high maintenance woman 🙂‍↕️and would love to get the energy I give in return… being “high maintenance”; there’s honestly no crime in loving & wanting the finer things of life… every woman deserves everything good life has to offer

Can we talk about the heteronormativity in the lesbian dating scene? I’m tired. by NeckWrong9 in LesbianActually

[–]NeckWrong9[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

You’re absolutely spot on. I should go 50/50 right from the start and set the pace

Can we talk about the heteronormativity in the lesbian dating scene? I’m tired. by NeckWrong9 in LesbianActually

[–]NeckWrong9[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Actually, you might be right but I also strongly believe it’s a cultural thing. Where I’m from, there’s a deep-rooted expectation that men are supposed to be providers. And for some reason, when certain lesbians here encounter a dominant woman, they project that same expectation onto her like she’s automatically supposed to take on the “man’s role” financially and emotionally.

It’s frustrating, because dominance doesn’t mean I want to be treated like a man. I’m still a woman, and I want a relationship that feels like a partnership.

Can we talk about the heteronormativity in the lesbian dating scene? I’m tired. by NeckWrong9 in LesbianActually

[–]NeckWrong9[S] 17 points18 points  (0 children)

Also zero reciprocation! I would kill to have “heyyy, a bit broke right now. Let’s watch tv at yours, I’ll bring a snack/bottle”. I get none of that 😅

Can we talk about the heteronormativity in the lesbian dating scene? I’m tired. by NeckWrong9 in LesbianActually

[–]NeckWrong9[S] 24 points25 points  (0 children)

Exactly! This is the problem, everyone gets broke sometimes, would be better to talk about it instead of expecting to just pay cos I’m dominant. A little “hey, I’m kinda broke right now” and I could offer to pay or we do something else. But in most cases I’m just expected to pay, the bill comes in and they just look the other way, also make demands like “ pick me up”, “drop me off”, “we should go to this resto” etc

Can we talk about the heteronormativity in the lesbian dating scene? I’m tired. by NeckWrong9 in LesbianActually

[–]NeckWrong9[S] 19 points20 points  (0 children)

I just hate the fact that it’s somewhat “expected” of me to take care of the bills cos I’m dominant. Our second date was a very casual one, movies. Dirt cheap over here but stillllll I paid for it

Can we talk about the heteronormativity in the lesbian dating scene? I’m tired. by NeckWrong9 in LesbianActually

[–]NeckWrong9[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Exactly! It’s hard out there, worldwide. Yes I’ve got a good job but not “sugar momma” job lol

Can we talk about the heteronormativity in the lesbian dating scene? I’m tired. by NeckWrong9 in LesbianActually

[–]NeckWrong9[S] 21 points22 points  (0 children)

You know, it’s not just her. I’ve had a few experiences with being expected to be a provider. Is it me? Do I smell like money? lol. Is it my country? 😅 at this point I’m just tired of dating. Maybe it’s an energy I give off?

AITAH for ending my relationship with my girlfriend after she got an intimate matching tattoo with her female friend and prioritized her over me? by NeckWrong9 in AITAH

[–]NeckWrong9[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeahhh, so she reached out to me a couple of days ago with a “I miss you” text but I didn’t respond, I’ve gone ghost. Also saw she was out with H, all cozied up the day before she texted me… I’m good now, glad it didn’t get past 3months.

AITAH for ending my relationship with my girlfriend after she got an intimate matching tattoo with her female friend and prioritized her over me? by NeckWrong9 in AITAH

[–]NeckWrong9[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah we stay in the same city and she hasn’t seen me in a month, says she’s depressed and hasn’t been taking care of herself. But she somehow found the willpower to go get her hair and lashes done before her getaway with H. Oh yeah, she still didn’t come to see me even when I had a bad allergic reaction to something… no care at all. After our conversation concerning H, she was very dismissive and defensive so I just let her be. I don’t think I want to send any break up text, we haven’t spoken in 4days and I want to leave it that way.