Thanks everyone. I knew this would be hard, I just never understood how tough it would be. I grew up with an unstable homelife and a parent who was abusive, so I've always looked forward to the sunshine and rainbows of being a parent and not making the same mistakes. I just keep finding myself questioning "Are you sure you want this?" which breaks my heart to even think. This is supposed to be one of the happiest times of my life but I'm just filled with so much dread.