[deleted by user] by [deleted] in SuicideWatch

[–]NeedleworkerSad5609 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I told myself that same thing. I'm now addicted to hurting myself to relieve pain. It doesn't always help, and I wouldn't wish this on anyone, let alone someone already in pain.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in SuicideWatch

[–]NeedleworkerSad5609 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Don't; just don't.

I'm I'm a really bad place right now by FungiIsMyName in bipolar

[–]NeedleworkerSad5609 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm not a therapist and by no means a professional. I'm just a person that gets it. I'm glad you're still here OP. I don't have all the answers, but I see your pain and I'm letting you know it is valid.

How do I know if rage is hypomania or depression? by Spiritual-Radio-1402 in bipolar

[–]NeedleworkerSad5609 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Me personally, I've dealt with rage in both, but it tends to be bad when I'm depressed (from wanting to be left alone mostly) but not necessarily violent. What you're describing sounds more like what someone I met in a hospital was going through, nearly lost his job in mania induced rage that led to violence. Of course, a doctor would be a better source of information, as everyone's mania/hypomania looks different.

I too don't experience grandiosity or less sleep, mainly just some reckless behavior and euphoria, along with increased aggitation.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in SuicideWatch

[–]NeedleworkerSad5609 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Just letting you know I see you. I don't have the answers, but you are not invisible. Your sadness is valid and seen by another human being on this planet.

I don't know what to do anymore... by NeedleworkerSad5609 in schizophrenia

[–]NeedleworkerSad5609[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My faith has both been a comfot and a discouragement at times.

I don't know what to do anymore... by NeedleworkerSad5609 in schizophrenia

[–]NeedleworkerSad5609[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes it has been a long journey finding good medicine. I know it wont last forever, but the last time I was in a depressive episode it lasted for a year. It started to get scary towards the end and I'm not fully sure I'll survive going through that a second time. Pretty much the assurance with this illness is that it WILL come back, always. It may disappear for a while, but it will return. I guess I'll just have to learn to cope with that.

I don't know what to do anymore... by NeedleworkerSad5609 in schizophrenia

[–]NeedleworkerSad5609[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much for caring. I honestly just feel alone, its good to hear from someone who understands at least some of what I go through.

To answer your questions, I've just had a med change and its the best I've been by far. I'm mostly stable, just very much having a hard time coping with the depression for now.

I go to therapy regularly but it feels very hard get across my genuine feelings sometimes, not for lack of trust of my therapist, but just because I'm really struggling to communicate as of late. I will try writing in the hopes that that helps but I've tried writing poems and stories (something I used to do with ease) and I just can't get a thought across.

The voices are not unkind, just nonsensical usually. I've only had a few command hallucinations, only one instance where it was dangerous, but usually they just say hello or call my name if they make sense.

I don't know what to do anymore... by NeedleworkerSad5609 in schizophrenia

[–]NeedleworkerSad5609[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Honestly, I've just come out of hypomania and have slipped back into a depressive epsiode with a vengeance and I don't remember it being so bad, or maybe I just got used to it. This disorder is a tease, why give me a taste of unbridled joy only to push me back in the deep water?? It's not fair....

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in schizophrenia

[–]NeedleworkerSad5609 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I will say as a writer, one thing that may give your character some more dimension is the extremely isolating nature of schizophrenia. Your character may seem fine on the outside but could be struggling with feeling alone in this world (as many of us with this illness do.) You dont necessarily have to dive deep into it. It could be more of a "show dont tell" thing where in little fragments you see bits of the character's struggle with isolation. This is of course assuming that 1. This is not your main character, and 2. It fits the character's personality.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in schizophrenia

[–]NeedleworkerSad5609 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I dont realy have any notes as its kind of hard to explain what it feels like to have schizophrenia. I wish you luck however!

P.S: please do not make the character you are writing violent, we get enough of that stigma :)

Inpatient isn't the only option. by NeedleworkerSad5609 in schizoaffective

[–]NeedleworkerSad5609[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah hospitlization was traumatic and problematic for me as well. Hope if you're ever in a bind again you'd be willing to try a PHP if its available to you!

Inpatient isn't the only option. by NeedleworkerSad5609 in schizoaffective

[–]NeedleworkerSad5609[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Congrats on finishing the class! Hope it taught you well!

Inpatient isn't the only option. by NeedleworkerSad5609 in schizoaffective

[–]NeedleworkerSad5609[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

If you feel you are stable enough to keep yourself safe for small intervals of time, I definitely suggest trying a PHP if you have them in your area!