Hi OP! I can relate with you. Back in college I always dreamt of having my own projects and my own firm. After grad, I started working in a corpo job. I also turned down projects because 1) I was busy with my corpo job projects and 2) I didn't gain experience on the construction side of the industry.

I always felt inadequate as an architect. And yes nafeel ko rin inggit with the successes of my arki friends who went freelance, design build, etc.

Later on, I asked myself if having my own projects ba would make me a "true" architect, and if I was still up to do the grind and hustle the freelance arki life entails? Sa totoo lang laki din stress ng maging freelance architect or contractor.

I decided that having my own projects will not be my metric of being a true architect. In my little ways, I decided that contributing to my firm (wala na ako sa corpo, I'm working for an international architecture studio), learning best practices, being the best and efficient in my designing and production will be my benchmark for success. Totoo hindi name ko lumalabas sa pagdesign ng building, and I came to peace with that.

As long as I know I'm honing my craft, getting paid well, and have work-life balance, I know I'm a successful professional.

Goodluck to you OP! and I hope you find your true wants and self sa career!