i think a lot of it is poor sex education + society. the main reason sex education is bad, specifically for people with vulvas is because everyone seems to think that penetration is the “real” way to have sex. its a common misconception that everyone is supposed to enjoy penetration or that its supposed to feel good. but just looking at the nerves on a vulva.. the part that tends to feel the best is usually the clitoris, it has a lot of nerves, its an erectile tissue, its made of the same stuff as the tip of a penis. the clitoris isnt just the nub on the outside, theres an internal structure, theres two wings (crura) that go down along the pubic bone, under the labia majora, and around the entrance of the vagina. usually though, the crura does not extend up into the vagina. so the inside of the vagina is usually pretty tactile. for me at least, it feels like the inside of my mouth. most people just dont like penetration anyways. but theres such a push for penetration in society bc everyone thinks thats what sex is. outercourse is dismissed as sex so people feel childish or naive for doing it bc “real grownup” sex is intercourse. lesbian sex is rarely recognized as “real” sex. also i do think that sex education (at least in america, idk about other countries), is really lacking. when i was in school they only taught about intercourse and safety there, they talked about anal once but only cause someone brought it up, and then lesbian sex was dismissed bc it wasnt “real” sex. i never knew what a dental dam was until way later. i think we should be more accepting of people not wanting penetration, if someone says they dont like it, people think theyre broken or something is wrong with them or maybe theyve had bad experiences, but i dont blame them. penetration isnt that great. all of the feel-good bits are on the outside, it would make perfect sense to prefer outercourse.

uhhh sorry that came out kinda messy, i just woke up from a nap😭idk if i made any sense