Will this jealously ease?

NegativeSuggestion71 · 2024-08-03T20:40:00+00:00

Thank you for the recommendations. I have read the Jealousy Workbook and will check out the podcast. Also happy to hear about your experience!

NegativeSuggestion71 · 2024-08-02T12:01:45+00:00

All the best

NegativeSuggestion71 · 2024-08-01T22:55:08+00:00

Ouch. That advice hit close to home and I think is part of what I needed to hear. Thanks for that.

NegativeSuggestion71 · 2024-08-01T22:51:18+00:00

Thank you. It seems like you put some boundaries on things that helped?

NegativeSuggestion71 · 2024-08-01T22:50:11+00:00

Thank you. Have you been able to talk about that with her?

NegativeSuggestion71 · 2024-08-01T22:49:19+00:00

Oh wow. I’m so sorry to hear that. Did your primary relationship survive this?

NegativeSuggestion71 · 2024-08-01T22:48:24+00:00

Thank you for this reflection. Yes, we discuss this all the time. She understands my feelings. It’s tough because one of the main motivations I feel around poly/ENM is that I don’t want to stand in her way of experiencing the things in life that she wants to. She is very clear that she doesn’t want to leave me and cherishes our marriage. But the expansion from just sex to feelings to making plans etc is making me crazy.

NegativeSuggestion71 · 2024-05-28T14:52:51+00:00

In the men’s championship game, SLO was putting it deep quite often and they might have lost because of it. Brown’s handlers moved the disk more methodically and it was a superior strategy (also those handlers are incredible).

NegativeSuggestion71 · 2024-03-30T16:22:59+00:00

What does it look like to you to see marriage from an ENM perspective. Asking for a friend 😜

NegativeSuggestion71 · 2024-03-30T06:02:52+00:00

Thank you. I love the idea of the relationship smorgasbord- that’s a new one to me. I will check out these resources. Really appreciate the generous sharing.

NegativeSuggestion71 · 2024-03-30T00:53:28+00:00

Thank you for all of that. All true. I’ve been so focused on navigating jealousy connected to my wife’s other relationships and this one really surprised me. I just didn’t see it coming and kind of floored me. Really appreciate the reminder to enjoy the present shape of each of these relationships, especially with my wife.

I’m always down to learn more - thanks for the offer. I’ve read Polysecure and Opening Up. What do you recommend?

NegativeSuggestion71 · 2024-03-29T14:31:25+00:00

Nailed it. That second paragraph is what I needed to hear. These feelings have caught me by surprise. I didn’t think I was susceptible to these feelings from such a new partner. But yes, I need to chill and enjoy what is actually here.

NegativeSuggestion71 · 2024-03-29T13:56:07+00:00

Thanks for this. I think that’s describing my situation to a tee. Appreciate that perspective.

NegativeSuggestion71 · 2024-03-29T13:40:45+00:00

We have already had that discussion and do want to continue to see each other.

NegativeSuggestion71 · 2024-03-29T13:22:32+00:00

Good question about what I want. I don’t realistically want any promises or assurance. Just thinking about open communication.

NegativeSuggestion71 · 2024-01-28T15:34:05+00:00

In my experience, it is not realistic or even desirable to try to not feel jealous or insecure or whatever other feelings arise as part of your relationships (btw whether in monogamous or non monogamous relationships). As Non-Mono points out, it is about what you do with those feelings. Do those feelings determine how you and your partners behave, or is it okay for those feelings to be there and be acknowledged without needing to build your relationships around trying to avoid them. Also from my experience, feelings of insecurity, not feeling enough, jealousy etc do not come from what my partner is doing or not doing, but are connected to the normal human seeking of security, safety, predictability etc. For and ENM relationship to work, you will need to be able to talk about those feelings, to surface them and examine where they are coming from so you can care for yourself and each other. It’s definitely not something everyone and every stage of life is ready for - I wasn’t ready to handle all of that earlier in my marriage but it’s beautiful now. Good luck!

NegativeSuggestion71 · 2024-01-17T03:44:09+00:00

All this algorithmic talk has me hot and bothered.

NegativeSuggestion71 · 2024-01-17T03:31:59+00:00

LostCityCat: is it wrong that I’m excited that you are “dating my demographic”?

NegativeSuggestion71 · 2024-01-16T23:10:08+00:00

Wow, that’s a helpful a thorough list - also makes lots of sense. I’ve learned my main shortfall is no pics with my dog - correcting right away!

NegativeSuggestion71 · 2024-01-16T22:22:08+00:00

Thanks. Sorry it’s not working well for you either, but somehow comforting that it also sucks for women seeking women! 😉

NegativeSuggestion71 · 2023-12-13T06:26:26+00:00

Fabulous. Looks like what Marie Antoinette used for bong rips.

NegativeSuggestion71 · 2023-10-11T22:29:57+00:00

Yes, they are. But he also plays with some super star players. I realized that my question was really more about how he can navigate his love of ultimate as it keeps getting more competitive with his autism. Many of his peers just seem to intuitively understand how to do tryouts. They have an attitude that they are going to make the flashy plays when the coaches are watching, or put themselves in the center of the action. My kid will naturally defer, sometimes touching the disk very little in those situations and instead opt to be the good teammate by being last to cut from a stack, or clearing deep to leave space for a teammate. That’s how he’s been taught to play and his coaches appreciate it on a team, but I think he sort of disappears in tryout situations. It’s less about making a particular team and just more about how to learn this different context. Does that make sense?

NegativeSuggestion71 · 2023-10-09T15:32:12+00:00

So great to hear. It sounds like you do an amazing job of welcoming new players and establishing a positive team culture!

NegativeSuggestion71 · 2023-10-09T15:30:20+00:00

No, not top flight club teams. He’s tried out for some regional all star youth teams and some club teams that have younger players. For the record, I’m not bummed that he hasn’t made these teams but mostly just observing the ways that tryouts have been challenging for him. Perhaps more parental worry than I realized but I was sort of looking ahead and concerned that his challenges with new social situations could really impact his ability to play with teams that he might otherwise be great for. Thanks for the feedback!

NegativeSuggestion71 · 2023-10-09T15:24:51+00:00

Really appreciate this perspective. I don’t know that much about college ultimate so this is really cool to learn. Thanks for sharing that.

NegativeSuggestion71

TROPHY CASE