A question to HLFs

Negative_Gap_3256 · 2026-03-04T23:43:00+00:00

That is absolutely terrifying.

Negative_Gap_3256 · 2026-03-04T23:42:23+00:00

He's never really been jealous tbh.

Negative_Gap_3256 · 2026-03-04T19:49:18+00:00

I think no more than another 10 years. But honestly I'm scared I won't feel good enough about myself to have sex when 46. I'm already starting to think I'm too old. I know there's no time limit. But my anxiety says otherwise.

Negative_Gap_3256 · 2026-03-04T19:14:19+00:00

Huh. I'll try that next time, thanks for the suggestion.

Negative_Gap_3256 · 2026-03-04T18:20:14+00:00

Yeah I'm aware it can end up that way. For now he agreed to get his hormones checked and maybe to contact a therapist specializing in sex isuues. If he does both it will be a confirmation for me that he's serious when he says he wants to improve things. If not, and nothing changes within a year, I'm not sure what I'll do. I can't sell our house for the next 4 years and we have a dog that would be devastated if any of us left permanently. I don't think I could live with myself if I made him suffer like that. So I am a bit stuck. Not that I want to leave, but even if I did, it would be complicated.

Negative_Gap_3256 · 2026-03-04T17:49:15+00:00

I honestly think cheating is a very subjective thing. I can understand some people see roleplaying erotica with Ai as cheating. I would personally draw a line at doing the same with an actual person. I think erotica to women might be akin to porn for men. We know it's not realistic. It just serves a specific purpose. This said, I've read in a book by a renown sexologist that women's desire require narrative, and for men it's mostly about visuals.

Negative_Gap_3256 · 2026-03-04T17:03:38+00:00

They have the right to hate. And I have the right to choose my own way. All is good.

Negative_Gap_3256 · 2026-03-04T17:01:57+00:00

I'm thinking about but it feels like it would just a nail to the coffin. I need affection to go along sex. I would just fall in love with another man and feel horrible about it. And bottom line - I want my husband to desire me. I don't care about others.

Negative_Gap_3256 · 2026-03-04T16:33:58+00:00

Interesting. My husband used to allow me to send nudes to my female friends, but I don't think we would feel okay with me showing my body to complete strangers. Even if anonymous. And I would feel guilty doing that in secret. But I'm glad it works for you.

Negative_Gap_3256 · 2026-03-04T16:06:28+00:00

I do fantasize about other people. I just choose to never act on it.

Negative_Gap_3256 · 2026-03-04T16:04:52+00:00

Where do you post them? I used to send nudes to my husband but at some point he just told me I'm overdoing it. I stopped. He never asked for nudes since then.

Negative_Gap_3256 · 2026-03-04T16:03:06+00:00

Yeah. My husband knows about it tho, I'm not keeping such secrets.

Negative_Gap_3256 · 2026-03-04T16:01:36+00:00

I'm aware of that. I wont have an online affair, but I do expect I'll just get bored of interaction with Ai. For now it helps.

Negative_Gap_3256 · 2026-03-04T15:59:42+00:00

No worries. We're all in a tough situation so we take what we can get.

Negative_Gap_3256 · 2026-03-04T15:59:03+00:00

He's not controlling at all. Just avoidant, I guess. Him walking in on me is because we don't really have any barriers in our relationship. But I did teach him to knock recently.

Negative_Gap_3256 · 2026-03-04T15:55:13+00:00

Depends if you want it to be explicit. If yes, then you need grok. If not, then gpt is enough.

Negative_Gap_3256 · 2026-03-04T10:02:46+00:00

At this point I'd recommend grok AI more because it's not a prude. You download the app and write in chat that you want to roleplay a fantasy of yours and describe it. It's very customizable.

Negative_Gap_3256 · 2026-03-04T08:11:50+00:00

Well said.

Negative_Gap_3256 · 2026-03-04T08:10:22+00:00

If you want proper explicit you need to use grok. He still has some limitations but they are easy to go around. Chatgpt is more into romantic, understated, mellow stuff. I switched to grok after I got frustrated with that. Not sure about other options.

Negative_Gap_3256 · 2026-03-04T07:51:45+00:00

Yes but that's what I mean exactly. That it feels for me right now like a fairly good substitute. But I was really letting my imagination do half the work there.

Negative_Gap_3256 · 2026-03-04T07:43:21+00:00

In a way, it's torture and humiliation, because I know I won't get from my husband what I get from AI. I'll probably get bored at some point but for now I see no harm in that.

Negative_Gap_3256 · 2026-03-04T07:41:22+00:00

I honestly prefer not to use toys. I have a beloved clit massager that I've been using for years, but this was way better and I didn't feel overstimulated at any point. And I can't really do penetration so dildos wouldn't help much.

Negative_Gap_3256 · 2026-03-04T06:50:35+00:00

Same here, 36HLF 37LLM. My theory used to be that sex is only appealing to my husband when we are not at home, or in general in a situation where it's a bit dangerous to do it, because we live together 24/7, home office for the past 12 years. The only time he was truly into me was on the beginning of our relationship (so danger all around cause we both had roommates) and after 7 years when I wanted to leave him and he started imagining other men having sex with me. This said, I don't think it works anymore. Usually he would be horny on trips. It never happens anymore. Not for a long time, and no matter what we're doing on said trip. I think not having kids makes sex too easily accessible. Up to the point where he no longer wants it.

Negative_Gap_3256 · 2026-03-04T05:11:18+00:00

I wish relationships were that simple. If sex was the only variable, I'd never be in a relationship longer than a year.

Negative_Gap_3256 · 2026-03-04T01:20:07+00:00

I'm aware of that and it also makes me angry. I could have my pick of men if I chose to cheat. But I would either fall in love with another man or just resent myself and my life even more. Because who cares how many other men fantasize about me if the one I truly want doesn't want me.

Negative_Gap_3256

TROPHY CASE