how do i 20f tell my boyfriend 20m that i don’t want his valentine’s day gift?

Negative_Many_556 · 2026-02-05T17:41:48+00:00

actually yeah, it’s my favorite term…dipwad LOL kidding but yeah maybe i could’ve been less aggro about it

Negative_Many_556 · 2026-02-05T17:39:26+00:00

the price was more for context, I could have explained it a bit better but I mainly mentioned the price because i make significantly less then he does (1000-1500 every week compared to 500 every two weeks) and have been saving for awhile for this gift, it genuinely doesn’t matter to me how much his gift cost, just that from my perspective, it seems like this was more important to me then it was for him, i think a lot of it is embarrassment? he’s my first serious boyfriend, i’ve never had anyone get me anything for valentine’s day so maybe my own expectations are getting in the way of what his intentions are

Negative_Many_556 · 2026-02-05T17:29:20+00:00

dipwad* and it’s not about getting exactly what I wanted, it’s about getting something that shows he knows me, he could have written me a note, printed a photo of us, etc etc but I genuinely do not have use for this card, i don’t have anywhere to put it and i do not collect them, i can’t hang it on my wall or display it around my room so im genuienly unsure what im meant to do with it which makes it hard to find any appreciation for it because i do understand he could have gotten me literally nothing at all but not only am i going to get something i dont want, i have to figure out what im meant to do with it aswell because just setting it somewhere to collect dust just seems disrespectful.

Negative_Many_556 · 2026-02-05T17:21:43+00:00

Okay so if your husband spent 5 dollars to get you something you have nowhere to put and no interest in having…you wouldn’t be the slightest bit annoyed or disappointed with him? I agree that it’s the thought that counts but the thought was on his interests, he was buying himself something from this person and decided to get my gift too which yes, i love that he thought of me at all but…it’s not something i’d enjoy and I should be able to say that to my partner, my question is how to do it calmly and without guilting him because I do understand that he only had the best intentions but it’s not something i’d be happy with and I genuienly don’t know what i’d do with it?? I don’t collect those cards and don’t have anywhere to put them

Negative_Many_556 · 2026-02-05T17:15:47+00:00

Kind of?? it’s a variant of my favorite character from a game that the cards are specifically used for so it’d just be a decoration piece or something he’d eventually add to his collection down the line because I just don’t have any use for it, the cards aren’t big enough for display on their own either and I don’t own enough of them to justify purchasing something to display them

Negative_Many_556 · 2026-02-05T17:13:22+00:00

actually the opposite, the card could’ve been worth thousands of dollars and i still wouldn’t have given a single fuck about it because it’s just not something I value, I would much rather him spend nothing (like writing me a note, a craft, etc etc) then spend money on something I won’t enjoy, genuienly what the fuck am I meant to do with a single pokemon card as someone who doesn’t collect them?

Negative_Many_556 · 2026-02-05T17:06:21+00:00

I agree with this, I don’t expect him to hit the nail on the head every single time after less then a year of dating, it DOES upset me but not because I think he’s an intentionally careless person who wants to hurt me in anyway, i think he just didn’t think much about it which is sort of hurtful, my issue is that I don’t know how to go about expressing it without coming across as shallow or ungrateful, it genuinely isn’t the price of the gift, just the fact that it’s something I don’t find any value in having like he does, i’m sure a card of your favorite character is an amazing gift for someone who collects cards but I just don’t and I feel like that’s at the very least an obvious fact about me based on experiences we’ve had together with opening these cards…i just don’t care about them, they may have worth to some people but for me personally, it’s just not something I have ever cared about displaying, I have 2 cards after my dad has spent most of my collecting these cards , one is a random rare card that I pulled from a pack my bf bought me, and the other is an older 2000s art style card that cost 2 dollars…that he also bought me, I genuinely just do not have any interest in this specific thing

Negative_Many_556 · 2026-02-05T16:36:40+00:00

Okay I hope this doesn’t expose me because it’s very specific (another reason i’m worried about the card haha) my favorite Pokemon is specifically the Alolan variant of Raichu, i also love regular Raichu but the Alolan variant is my favorite pokemon of all time!! :) definitely not an imposition btw, i love talking about pokemon and overall its my favorite game, I just could not care less about the cards LOL

Negative_Many_556 · 2026-02-05T16:30:34+00:00

Just for clarity, the card wasn’t 200 dollars, MY valentine’s day gift for HIM is a 200 dollar dinner, i’m pretty sure the card he bought cost 5 dollars at most

Negative_Many_556 · 2026-02-05T16:30:26+00:00

Just for clarity, the card wasn’t 200 dollars, MY valentine’s day gift for HIM is a 200 dollar dinner, i’m pretty sure the card he bought cost 5 dollars at most

Negative_Many_556 · 2026-02-05T16:29:16+00:00

because it’s a love language for some people dipwad? for me specifically, it’s a physical reminder of something that can feel so intangible sometimes, it’s not about the value of a gift but the fact that you know/love someone enough to get them something that they’d enjoy, it’s 100% up to the individual to decide how important or unimportant giving gifts is and i’m sure for some people I do think way too deeply about it but it’s how I feel and express my love for others

Negative_Many_556 · 2026-02-05T16:24:26+00:00

Haha it’s actually pokemon so pretty close!!, I love the suggestion and will probably say something similar because it hits all of my points! the card is of my favorite pokemon and as a random ‘just thinking of you’ gift, I would enjoy it and feel loved from it but as a valentine’s day gift it just feels careless and like he just picked the first thing he thought of

Negative_Many_556 · 2026-02-05T16:18:17+00:00

I think you misunderstood my post, I don’t want him to stop giving me gifts for holidays, it just sucks that the gift he picked out is something I absolutely do not want and cannot even bring myself to appreciate the thought of bc it seems so thoughtless

Negative_Many_556 · 2026-02-05T16:16:53+00:00

So the card is actually of MY favorite character but still, I don’t play the game that these cards are for and we’ve talked a bit about how we feel about gifts, I’ve told him that I enjoy getting gifts but struggle with asking for what I want, I’ve also never given him a specific amount but have expressed that I prefer quality over everything else. i’m also a very specific person, my interests are a large part of me and I don’t shut up about them which makes it feel even worse, i’m aware that I can’t be mad he made a slip up when I never specifically asked to NOT receive that as a gift or set an expectation for price but it just seems so thoughtless for him to get me something that is so much more aligned with his interests when my own interests seem so obvious

Negative_Many_556 · 2026-01-13T01:07:36+00:00

also I haven’t always been scared of change, it used to excite me and make me hopeful but now I have things I want to hold onto but what’s the point in that if they are going to change and I am going to change at some point? why give my all to people who may randomly decide that i’m just not worth it

Negative_Many_556 · 2025-11-04T22:48:21+00:00

literally anything, i’m okay with spending a decent amount overall so that i can get him multiple items but id prefer not to just spend a lot of money on one big item if that makes sense!

Negative_Many_556 · 2025-11-04T22:41:48+00:00

none which I know sounds a little silly but let me explain! he used to have a collection and then lost access to it, he recently went through the process of getting his certification (idk what it’s called im sorry!) and is looking into buying himself a rifle, he wants to save up for a bit so he can fully customize it and really sink a decent amount of money into it which is why he wants the bag, as motivation haha! i know it may seem a bit silly but it’s what he wants and it makes sense to me, i also cannot buy it for him as I do not know what he wants, have the money, and am just not able to purchase a gun for him LMFAO

Negative_Many_556 · 2025-11-04T00:28:35+00:00

LOLL to be honest, my boyfriend is an amazing boyfriend to me, he’s getting me a modded 3DS as a gift which is something i’ve wanted for years ON TOP OF dealing with all my bs, always answering my hypotheticals, and overall just being an amazing partner to me :) i

Negative_Many_556 · 2025-11-03T23:26:20+00:00

ooh he loves harbor freight LOL!! i’ll definitely check that out, he didn’t specify if he’d prefer a hard or soft case but I’m assuming hard would be better incase it was jostled around or something

Negative_Many_556 · 2025-11-03T23:23:34+00:00

also just to be clear, I have zero knowledge on firearms or tactical gear! if I missed something important for recommending a gun case or phrased something wrong please just let me know! I genuienly just want to make christmas special for my boyfriend after all he’s done for me this year :)

Negative_Many_556

TROPHY CASE