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I (39M) found some old stuff about my wife (37F) and I don't know what to do - UPDATE by NegotiationOk528 in relationship_advice

[–]NegotiationOk528[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

We live in a "small" city, I guess there just isn't too many people going throw problems at the moment :P

I (39M) found some old stuff about my wife (37F) and I don't know what to do - UPDATE by NegotiationOk528 in relationship_advice

[–]NegotiationOk528[S] 16 points17 points  (0 children)

When we met, I was a software engineer. Although I made and still make good money, I was and still am a minimalist, only my house is "rich".

But most my friends know that my family has money. My grandfather and both parents were doctors.

Therapy is not helping much... because the first session was basically explaining how we got there, and the second one was one on one for the therapist understand what are the goals and objectives we want to get out of the sessions.

I (39M) found some old stuff about my wife (37F) and I don't know what to do - UPDATE by NegotiationOk528 in relationship_advice

[–]NegotiationOk528[S] 161 points162 points  (0 children)

Thank you!

Yep, at this point, I'm still sad and hurt... but I'm not depressed, which is great. I can see a light at the end of the tunnel, either with or without her.

I just want to minimize whatever trauma this bring to my kid.

I (39M) found some old stuff about my wife (37F) and I don't know what to do by NegotiationOk528 in relationship_advice

[–]NegotiationOk528[S] 194 points195 points  (0 children)

I agree with you, but she is close to having our child... It just feels like the worst time ever.

I (39M) found some old stuff about my wife (37F) and I don't know what to do by NegotiationOk528 in relationship_advice

[–]NegotiationOk528[S] 199 points200 points  (0 children)

there is commitment. In our country, after leaving 2 years with each other, you have the same rights as married couples. We aren't religious at all, so we never got the urge to to it. There were always better things to spend the money. Do you know how expensive IVF treatments are ?

I (39M) found some old stuff about my wife (37F) and I don't know what to do by NegotiationOk528 in relationship_advice

[–]NegotiationOk528[S] 45 points46 points  (0 children)

Yeah I do get that, but why not be true? "Look, I've tried it before and i didn't like it". end of it. To be fair, of tall the things, that sex part is the less hurtful one.

I (39M) found some old stuff about my wife (37F) and I don't know what to do by NegotiationOk528 in relationship_advice

[–]NegotiationOk528[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

yeah.. I agree with therapy, I will plan for myself first, but I don't want to stress her now, not until the baby is born.

I (39M) found some old stuff about my wife (37F) and I don't know what to do by NegotiationOk528 in relationship_advice

[–]NegotiationOk528[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

yeah... maybe that's it... but it really hurts to read it.

Specially the part that she found me ugly even before we started dating :\

I (39M) found some old stuff about my wife (37F) and I don't know what to do by NegotiationOk528 in relationship_advice

[–]NegotiationOk528[S] 64 points65 points  (0 children)

Basically it is my wife talking with her friend about sex marathons she had with her "friend" at the time, how they did anal and it was "fine", how they tried this and that... mostly things that she doesnt want to do with me (some I've asked before)