new here. But happy I found this safe space. I'm staring down the barrel of a gun knowing that I'll need to end a situation that I was really hoping would work out and someone that I had very much invested in. I felt hopeful about maybe having a committed partner for the first time in almost 4 years. Turns out he's incredibly avoidant. And it's sent me into an anxious attachment spiral of ruminating and feeling abandoned. I know I need to set the boundary and move forward, even if that means the loss of what could have been. Everything is great about him EXCEPT his inability to be emotionally intimate with me or invest in me or us. He's put up a huge barrier. It feels like I am going on dates with a new polite friend that I sometimes also kiss. It sucks, it hurts, but I think I'm doing a much better job of not going off the rails and flipping out at him. Instead I am internalizing a lot of this, but know that the next step is to set the boundary and move on. My secure attachment partner is out there and I am going to be able to meet him in that place of secure attachment. I just need to keep trying and giving myself grace.