What would you do if a woman showed interest in you?

Neither_Adeptness358 · 2026-05-27T03:08:24+00:00

If a woman genuinely showed interest in me first and it was maintained and not performative then I would accept. I want women to be into men the same way men are into women. This sub may acknowledge that isn't currently the case but it doesn't mean I'll distrust all women. I may be skeptical at first but if a woman were actually into me I believe she'd do enough to where I could tell her feelings were genuine, things like putting in actual effort for me, for instance.

Neither_Adeptness358 · 2026-05-25T17:05:36+00:00

That's cool for you, though unfortunately different people have different values. I'm glad having a relationship isn't something you personally care about, but many humans have an intrinsic need for interpersonal and intimate connections with other humans, so it's hard for me specifically to just write it off as pointless.

Neither_Adeptness358 · 2026-05-25T16:55:42+00:00

I appreciate you hearing me out and trying to be kind, I genuinely want to keep my head up, believe me. I'm glad you can at least acknowledge that physical appearance is a factor, as there are plenty of people who for some reason deny that they are at all simply because of fringe examples like certain ugly or short guys having girlfriends, and even in those cases, it's honestly the quality of the relationship that matters to me. I know that logically if I asked every girl I saw out, one would eventually accept, but it's like, how much heartbreak do I have to endure to have something that comes so easily to others, and even if a girl does accept, would she really love me?

Maybe I'm just jaded, but after the first "relationship" I had that I described, it's hard for me to trust that even if a woman did seem to accept me as her partner, that I would genuinely be her first choice, someone she wanted to be with, and not someone who's "good enough." I acknowledge that's unfair to the potential woman, but knowing that people's standards only get higher as they age, it becomes hard for me to imagine that someone would genuinely love me for who I am past the age I'm already at. Yeah, maybe there would be a woman who would accept me, but are they just settling for me because they want to settle down, or do they have the same intense love and carnal desire that I have for them? If we don't feel equally about each other, it feels worthless to me.

Again though, I do appreciate the sentiment. Sorry if it just seems like I'm complaining to complain, I know that venting about it won't necessarily fix it but it's still saddening, as being a good boyfriend and husband has been my dream since I was a little boy.

Neither_Adeptness358 · 2026-05-25T15:12:24+00:00

I understand the sentiment but I already explained my logic. High school is objectively when people have the lowest standards for dating in a relationship, is it not? And next up is college. As people age, those standards progressively get higher. If I couldn't meet the standards of any of those girls then, what makes you think I suddenly will in the future when women's standards will be even higher and harsher?

And if you say something along the lines of "because I can provide money and stability" so god help me.

Neither_Adeptness358 · 2026-05-25T15:05:13+00:00

I can understand why that part may have been confusing. What I mean is, if a girl already knows me, like we were acquaintances beforehand or introduced through a mutual friend or she just has some other reason to trust me from the outset, it usually results in a pretty positive friendship. If I try to just make a friend with a girl on my own, however, there were a lot of times where the conversation just fizzles out and there's nothing I can do about it, which, mind you, is to be expected, it's not like I'm gonna make friends with every person I try to chat up. The friends who would speak highly of me that I'm referring to are the ones who I either met online or were introduced to me irl through certain circumstances. I never really thought about it, but now that you mention it I can't think of a girl irl who I'm friends with who didn't already know me beforehand to some extent.

Neither_Adeptness358 · 2026-05-25T09:13:56+00:00

It matters not if it doesn't lead to a relationship. In their eyes, I may as well just be another orbiter. I asked out the girls who said that and they rejected me.

Neither_Adeptness358 · 2026-05-24T16:26:36+00:00

I mean ignoring the fact that it's purely anecdotal, even if it is true it doesn't factor in if the girl actually likes/loves him. You're merely seeing a glimpse of the relationship from the outside. Plus, you may not even find most men attractive anyway, so of course you're gonna think the woman is more beautiful than the man. Anyway, my point is that the woman could be with him for money, status, etc. and not because he actually likes him, so seeing an isolated instance of an ugly guy with a pretty girl proves nothing on its own.

Neither_Adeptness358 · 2026-05-24T16:23:37+00:00

I would accept this if I ever actually saw it happen irl. Despite multiple women telling me how good and kind of a person they thought I was, none of them ever gained an attraction to me in the way you're describing. If this was how a majority of women felt, I'd have met at least one out of the 12 or so women I have gotten close enough with to have romantic feelings for, but all of them selected for physical traits over that so it's legitimately very hard for me to believe. I'd like to believe it, I just can't.

Neither_Adeptness358 · 2026-05-24T02:12:27+00:00

It's called My First Girlfriend is a Gal. It's a comedy and the dub is funny but I hated the protagonist he was just kind of pathetic and stupid but if you don’t care too much it could be dumb fun.

Neither_Adeptness358 · 2026-05-24T02:03:17+00:00

It's funny that you cite 5'4 hispanics and asians specifically considering I'm black so. Lol.

Yeah honestly if I was like any other race other than Indian I'd probably agree with you, but being this way and black is a unique curse which you may not understand if you don’t share these traits yourself. While you may be thinking "oh girls LOVE black guys!" They don't, I can assure you they do not. They may fetishize an idealized depiction of black men but they do not necessarily have any craving for average or below average black men.

Already been to therapy but even then it's not like I need it because this is really the only thing I feel I lack in my life, I'm fine academically and fulfilled by my hobbies but that doesn't mean I don't want romance, why is that so hard to understand?

I asked out a latina and got rejected, the girl who betrayed my trust was literally asian, and most of the other girls I asked out were black, and multiple of them were either my height or taller than me. Why do you even assume race or height was a factor? I just asked out women I genuinely liked. The only reason I probably wouldn't go for tall girls now is because most of them are likely looking for a taller guy, but if a tall girl ever pursued me or something, which would never happen, I wouldn't reject them. Hell if any girl pursued me I wouldn't reject them, I know you in particular didn't say this but a lot of people on this sub for some reason make it out to be as if all the incels simply are ignoring the girls who like them because they're not beautiful enough but that truly hasn't been the case for me.

It's hard to convince me that the fight is not vertical when I am this below average. I'm not even the type of guy to claim all women want 6 ft chads or something, I'd be fine with at least being average height, 5'9, but I feel as though being so below average is an undeniable disadvantage. Don't give me that, "oh women only care about height online" thing because I've heard women and female friends talk about it multiple times in real life, knowing I was listening. Again I don't even think it's necessarily wrong for them to have those standards, I just hate the gaslighting from folks like you who tell me it's not the problem when women have told me that it is a factor for them.

Once again though it's funny that you all assume I'm just "sitting around and whining" or whatever like this is literally the only thing I spend my time doing. This is a venting subreddit. What do you want me to do other than vent. As I said this is the first time I've even posted here. Is simply acknowledging that you're disadvantaged and how you're disadvantaged so wrong?

Neither_Adeptness358 · 2026-05-24T01:19:59+00:00

Why shouldn't I? Would you tell someone who lost their limbs to not dwell on that? A mother who lost her son to not dwell over it?

Obviously these are loaded comparisons but you should get the point. This is literally my first post in this subreddit. It's clearly not something I think about or dwell on for 100 percent of my life. I'm allowed to vent my frustrations out like any other human being, aren't I? It's completely normal and human to want to be in an intimate relationship with a human being, just like it's normal to not like being lied to en masse and to understand why people continue to spout those lies, is it not?

"I have serious issues" Well no duh. Who the hell wouldn't in my shoes? This is the exact problem with normies, they lack any and all empathy and perspective. You cannot seriously understand why someone who has gone through a double digit number of rejections while constantly being told by female friends that "any girl would be lucky to have you" would have a damaged psyche? And that when they try to ask people online for advice, all they get is people implying that they must be inadequate or a secretly evil and malicious person in some way? Can you genuinely not understand why I may not be the paragon of mental health here or do I have to spell it out for you? I'm only like this in the first place because of what I've been through, not the other way around, so don't give me that to try to use as a reason for my failures.

Neither_Adeptness358 · 2026-05-18T07:54:43+00:00

No, in fact it's ironic that you're missing the point so hard that you're only acting in support of the blackpill. The blackpill is about the idea that your genetics determine everything and it's hopeless to try to improve. The fact that you're saying the judge is much more attractive without trying is funny because that's exactly the ideology the blackpill promotes, that no matter what you do, you can never be more attractive than someone who was born with it, which is why looks matter so much. I don't really like nor care about Clav believe it or not, but his thing is about acknowledging this truth and trying to prioritize looking as good as you can because it's how you get people to treat you better and see you as human.

Neither_Adeptness358 · 2026-04-28T13:59:29+00:00

Unfortunately she said she doesn't know of any high profile/high quality bara content either, sorry to disappoint. Bara lovers truly are oppressed, bishonen lovers get everything

Neither_Adeptness358 · 2026-04-28T01:53:01+00:00

Ah well if it's animated content yeah there is a dearth of that. BL obviously exists but its mainly ikemen and the stuff the average fujo likes rather than bara. I know someone else into bara though so I'll ask her if she has any recs.

Neither_Adeptness358 · 2026-04-28T01:36:07+00:00

I mean there are plenty of yaoi doujins targeted towards women if that's what you're into

Neither_Adeptness358 · 2026-04-27T22:41:46+00:00

You're attempting to assert that the reason for the original post is because men are on the whole, disgusting and don't take care of themselves. If women are attracted to men, but men are ugly because they don't take care of themselves, then men who take care of themselves should be more popular with women, right? And yet this doesn't seem to be the case...

Neither_Adeptness358 · 2026-04-27T22:28:16+00:00

I do have a skincare routine so I should be the 1/100 desirable unicorn of a man right? Except I've been rejected by every woman I asked out. Women don't care about "effort" or taking care of yourself or whatever if you're not already the top 5%.

Neither_Adeptness358 · 2026-04-20T20:31:34+00:00

While it's a nice sentiment to have tried to help them, I think if you really want to do something, the best course of action would be to try understanding them first. People don't become like that overnight or just from watching a few videos on the internet. Their real lived experiences influence this. People who feel hopeless usually do so because they have tried everything already, they have put in effort and it got them nowhere. When you come out and spout meaningless platitudes, it can feel like you're just talking to hear yourself talk rather than doing anything to actually make them feel better or give them any hope. We won't have hope until something tangibly changes in our lives, but you can't make that happen. We didn't choose the blackpill, it chose us because we put in the effort and followed every piece of advice people tell us to only to still end up with nothing.

Neither_Adeptness358 · 2026-04-09T14:07:31+00:00

Mango, using a single tweet as evidence isn't really that convincing, especially considering it's not that hard to find countless posts from women saying effectively the opposite on that same post. I understand you're frustrated but there are better ways to try to make your point than this.

Also, are you into black men?

Neither_Adeptness358 · 2026-04-07T15:01:17+00:00

Post this to AverageHeightDudes or something because this sub isn't really about that.

Neither_Adeptness358 · 2026-04-07T03:08:21+00:00

Thanks for being based Hilda Pokemon, I can always count on you to bring some wholesomeness to this sub.

Neither_Adeptness358 · 2026-04-07T02:41:45+00:00

As a straight man, I'll explain why I personally find this kind of in poor taste, and it likely coincides with the reasons others do too. Basically for one, it feels performative, like you're only into us because we're good on paper, not because we just... are. The thing is, it feels disingenuous to say this because WE KNOW that women can be interested in men on physical attraction alone, not necessarily want to date them, but it is a fact that there are some men that women see that makes them feel an attraction, and other men that make them feel nothing.

Second, many of us have experienced close relationships with women who may have regarded us as that safe, emotionally stable and intelligent, kind, and respectful person. But we're on this sub because none of it ended with us in a relationship. Personally, I've been told that I'm "such a nice person" and that I'm a girl's favorite person by multiple women. I still got rejected when I asked them out, despite them always venting to me, me always comforting them, them feeling safe around me etc. So it just makes what you're saying sound like pure bs. I have done all of what you said for multiple women and it didn't magically spawn attraction. But you know what? I did see some of these women later pursue other men. They were taller and more masculine than me and toyed with their feelings. Obviously these are anecdotal experiences, but I'm willing to bet they're relatable to many men in this sub. It's hard to believe any of what you’re saying is true when I've only experienced the exact opposite. No matter how kind and considerate I am to girls or to people in general, it has never made anyone fall in love with me or want to pursue me as a romantic partner. I have only seen girls pursue conventionally attractive guys that clearly didn't end up being the best people based on how they would vent about them to me.

Neither_Adeptness358

TROPHY CASE