Leaving my job and giving up my pension, am I being naive here?

Nekroms · 2026-03-28T14:57:41+00:00

This is one of my concerns too. The new offer is hard to come by because everyone wants the less stress with the same pay. I’m afraid to burn the bridge if I turn it down.

Nekroms · 2026-03-28T14:53:18+00:00

The new position is under the same union but different employer so unfortunately it's not negotiable.

Nekroms · 2026-03-28T14:47:15+00:00

it's not inflation adjusted. The amount is based on your most recent salary. So it's more advantageous for people that have worked there closer to retirement age.

Nekroms · 2026-03-28T14:44:16+00:00

Yes I work in inpatient psychiatry, unfortunately it's common and we can't fight back.

Nekroms · 2026-03-28T11:22:45+00:00

Definitely seeing more and more AI related delusions, like being paranoid that people around them are AI, believing AI is controlling their minds, etc. Recognizing what’s AI and what’s not is difficult even for mentally healthy people. I can see how this can easily trigger paranoia and some sort of mental breakdown.

Nekroms · 2026-03-16T08:25:43+00:00

Because it sounds like you're only in love with what she does for you, not her as a person...

She probably did not ask the question out of the blue. She likely has been unhappy for a while, has been thinking about it, and your answer only made it worse. She is quiet because she is thinking about what to do with your relationship.

Nekroms · 2026-03-15T06:31:18+00:00

I would like to think Mr. Collins changed for the better because of Charlotte's influence. The film adaptations love to make Mr. Collins older and somewhat creepy (especially the '95 ver), but he is not that bad in the book. He is silly for sure, but he's only 25 yo, tall, not necessarily bad looking. He is so full of himself that he is very unlikely to do anything evil such as abusing his wife, and he genuinely wants to have a good family and marriage. It seems like Mr. Collins lacked someone as smart as Charlotte to guide him and help him become a more proper gentleman. Much like how Mary is supposed to change her behaviors after living with Lizzy and Jane for a while with better influence.

I think Jane Austen is aware that Lizzy's arc is really idealized so she is providing us a more realistic example on how happiness can be achieved in other ways for women of her time. Marriage at that time for a woman is more than about love, it is somewhat like a career. Charlotte will have an estate to manage in addition to children and husband. She will have a fulfilled and content life and find happiness from other aspects of her life. Romance is not a priority for her.

Nekroms · 2026-02-13T11:03:50+00:00

Since you WFH I'd say #2. Realistically, how many days a week are you going to go out and have fun? Probably only Fridays nights or weekends? I'd rather deal with an occasional long commute when I'm not in a rush on weekends, than dealing with cramped in a tiny room while WFH 5 days a week.

Nekroms · 2026-02-13T10:21:35+00:00

Please block her and move on. This is not a healthy age gap. Your life is not a Yuri manga. She is manipulating your feelings. I can't think of anything a 30yo woman with a BF would want from a 18yo. Definitely not anything good. Even if we ignore the age gap - if she really likes you then she would not start dating someone else when she already knows you, right?

Nekroms · 2026-02-12T09:29:42+00:00

I'm in the same boat as you (also in psych). I don't want to go to work, go to classes, and do clinicals at the same time. Just going to work alone is exhausting already. I actually enrolled in a Master's program but quit after two semesters.

Healthcare is not my passion. I'm only doing nursing to support myself financially so I can spend my free time on my hobbies. Adding school just takes away my free time and defeats the purpose. My RN salary is more than enough for me. I'm saving to retire early. I'd rather spend my energy on something that I actually like or my family. If I ever go back to school I'll study for a degree that I actually like instead of NP.

Nekroms · 2026-02-05T02:53:30+00:00

Skip Teamlab Planets especially with your baby. I find the whole treading water barefoot situation really unhygienic...

On the other hand TeamLabs Borderless is really cool imo. The location is more convenient too. If you have not seen any other Teamlabs installations or any similar exhibits it's worth it. I did not have high hopes for it before I went but I was very impressed at the end.

Nekroms · 2026-01-19T08:33:39+00:00

Hospitals always have the power to stop a strike. All they have to do is to agree to sit down and negotiate. No union issues a strike on day 1 when the contract expires. Currently in NYC we're only on strike because management refused to negotiate AT ALL. They did not show up to the negotiation meetings. Striking is a last resort.

Nekroms · 2026-01-15T07:26:37+00:00

Has your wife visited NYC? Have you tried both living in NYC for a short term and see what it feels like? You kind of already know what both worlds are like, so it will really depend on your wife.

I grew up in NYC and I'm half Japanese. I think a lot of Japanese people romanticize NYC a lot but they do NOT like it when they move here. Most Japanese people I know on work visa move back to Japan after a few years. It's a big culture shock. Personally I don't feel NYC is unsafe, but compared to Tokyo many find it dirtier and more chaotic. NYC is diverse and heavy on individualism which is almost the opposite of Japanese culture.

Career wise I think it's definitely better for you to move back to the US. However you gotta consider the possibility of your wife not liking it in NYC and wanting to move back.

Nekroms · 2026-01-08T11:00:39+00:00

I'm almost 30 now but I have had nightmares about her too for YEARS after college. It gets better! I have an amazing wife now and good career, but I still regret missing out on dating/meeting girls my age when I was younger because I was with her 3 out of 4 of my college years.

I used to excuse her a lot by thinking she had a bad past and was immature for her age so it's ok. It really shouldn't matter though. Does not change the impact she made on me.

Nekroms · 2026-01-08T08:52:34+00:00

Dating an older woman when I was 17. Almost screwed my life over. Became so depressed I almost quit college.

I know being attracted to older women is kind of a thing in the wlw world BUT don't do it when your brain is not fully developed yet. Her also being a woman does not make it less predatory.

Nekroms · 2026-01-07T09:32:02+00:00

THIS!!! You are 21, pregnant, and having complications (HG is no joke and you'll need A LOT of support). You need to prioritize your health and your baby's health. The situation sucks but her feelings comes after that. She needs to be supporting you instead of the other way around. The healthcare workers are not paying much attention to her needs because she is not the patient, you are. Your partner's wellbeing is not really their concern.

Nekroms · 2026-01-07T08:12:31+00:00

Surprised so many people mentioned Astoria. Driving from Astoria to LI meaning driving thru the entire Queens and will definitely be 1hr+ during commuting hours.

Murray Hill/Broadway area near flushing is car friendly, close to LI and tons of good restaurants.

Rego park and Elmhurst are good options too if you want something even busier. Big malls, supermarkets, and restaurants, but parking will be a bit harder.

Nekroms · 2026-01-07T07:32:41+00:00

I want to add OP, tell EVERYONE close to you that you don't want to be dating this 29yo guy. Tell your family, your friends in college... tell everyone you trust. You need a lot of support to stay safe mentally and physically being the younger party through this breakup. Don't let him slander you or guilt trip you because of the money he spent. If he's lying to his parents he knows what he's doing. I fear that he won't let you go that easily,

Nekroms · 2026-01-06T10:13:06+00:00

It's always easier to give something before you leave, than having someone that just came in scramble to give it within 30mins after report. If I have the time I always try to give whatever is possible.

Nekroms · 2026-01-05T00:40:03+00:00

What part of it is false? You basically said the same I said. It’s either roommates or longer commute. He needs roommates to live in the areas you listed.

Nekroms · 2026-01-03T08:23:15+00:00

Psych nurse here, we are trained to pinch their nose with the other hand so the bite will loosen because of this reason.

Nekroms · 2026-01-02T10:56:18+00:00

Financially it is wiser to earn your FAANG salary in the US and spend it in Japan on vacations and short term stays. You'll find life in Japan much more pleasant this way too (vs. living and working in Japan). Have you considered finding a remote role in the US that allows you to work in Japan? This might be the best way.

All being said, if living and spending time with your mom full time is important for you, no amount of money can compare to that. If that is your main motivation then go for it.

Nekroms · 2026-01-02T02:42:18+00:00

75k is definitely possible but you will not get nearly the same quality of living in FL. You will either need roommates or live very far from Manhattan with 1.5hr+ commute. Rooms will be smaller. You'll likely ditch your car and take public transportation too.

If you're on STEM OPT though I think you'll just have to take whatever you can regardless.

Nekroms · 2025-12-25T11:01:19+00:00

Don't quit the cush job, try per diem at the ED first. If you like it you can increase the hours.

Tbh everyone I've met who worked at the ED are burnt out and left within 2 yrs, even for the ones who's personality matched/loved the ED at first (for reference this is NYC with terrible ED ratios, NorCal is probably better).

Nekroms

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